Trapped in myself....

Lately I have just felt so trapped... its the only way I could possible even imagine describing it.

I feel like a bluntly unwanted and weird person. I only have one or two close friends, but most people just pass me by as a aquintence... and to be honest, I am kind of getting tired of it. I don't know if its where I live or what, but it honestly just may boil down to confidence issues....

I feel like a freak out in the public, and I don't even know why. I know I am attractive, admit that I am kind of shy, but everywhere I look people seem to be enjoying life and I am feeling left behind, and it feels like no one gives a shit. I am a straight A college student so far, I want to get into playing my favorite sport but I am too afraid of being a outcast wherever I go....

I just feel like there is something wrong with me... and I don't really care about living anymore.... I don't know whats wrong, I just seem to hate everything about me...

 

I understand your situation. You my friend have depression, I have it as well. Go to your doctor get some meds, and maybe get a therapist? I'm telling you it will help. A lot of people don't "believe" in medicine, and well, fuck them.. because hell, it helps. If it's not that go to a party. If you're feeling insecure about yourself, then just go out and do what you wanna do, it will feel good once you do

 

What Hidden said is great advice. My dad's struggled with depression for quite a while, and I completely understand how you're feeling. Firstly, go to the doctor and sort out some sort of medication plan. After that, you definitely want to find a good therapist to talk to, even one of your close friends if that's more comfortable for you.

Hell, if neither of those suit you I'd be more than willing to talk to you if you need someone to listen. Life's awesome man, don't ever think otherwise. Seeing as you're on Sythe, I assume you're a somewhat younger guy? Like really, there's so many things you've yet to experience, why would you want to miss out?

Lastly, just try to put yourself out there. As hard as it is, force yourself into those situations that make you feel awkward. You'll never be able to grow out of it if you haven't experienced it. If playing that sport makes you happy, go do it for yourself! If you try it and don't like it, well hey, you still tried it anyways.

MSN's in my sig if you need it.

 

Agreed. I used to be socially awkward, until I found out I'm actually a very comical person (Not to boast)! I'm now a very popular person in my school just because of my humor (I don't like hang out with jocks and have sex on an hourly basis but you get the point). You just need to find something you enjoy/are good at and excel at it. Like maybe a sport you play or even used to play?Take soccer for instance. Just go outside and dribble a ball around for maybe 15 - 30 minutes a day and you'll get a lot better.

I hope we managed to help you (Mostly Sanctuary, because he is clearly must more educated then me XD). I also hope you can manage to excel at something you enjoy!

 

Only you can define yourself, no matter what hardships you face you need to embrace yourself, be what makes you happy. It gets better, you know.

 

look this up on wikipedia:

Avoidant Personality Disorder



See how well the symptoms fit you.

then read up on treatment options.


I do not think you have depression. I think you are experiencing cognitive dissonance. this is caused when two behaviors or attitudes conflict. in your case, you wish to lead a "typical life"(not rly so typical) yet your personality type conflicts with those goals.

first off, it is easier to change the attitude than change the personality.
second, it is not a disorder unless it impairs functioning in key areas of life or causes significant distress.