Shipping Virtual Gold by USPS?

So, I have an absolute load to sell off. So much, that I need to figure out a way to do this effectively and safely. And of course there are OMMs for safety, but I thought of something - can USPS possibly act the middle man? My idea is to ship a paperweight with information on how to receive say 200M+ RSGP from me. That information might contain a level 3 account with 200M stashed on it, or a date/time to stake in which I would purposely lose, and etc. (Whatever method of trading in-game is safest)

Here's the thing... If you ship something with Paypal, insure for X amount of dollars, and get delivery confirmation, the buyer is pretty much SOL if anything is wrong with the received shipment. Usually most online venders no problem with RMAs but that's not the point. The point is to prevent any Paypal back-charging, or in the event of one, a pretty much guaranteed loss for the little 10 year -old dorky little shit scammers that found their way onto their parents Paypal account and lurk this website.

I'm not familiar with gift payments, and I just don't feel like dealing with virtual risk that I encountered years ago. (Luckily I found a buyer then who pretty much took everything off my hands)

Thoughts?

(P.S. Also looking for a OMM to move around over 10B or at least some to start. )

 

Just sell to more trusted people or do WU.