Family :/

My name is Alex and im 17 , 18 this month

My family is poor and for about a year now i had this problem with knowing what to do with my free time.

most of the time because i have so many problems :/ which include college life, relationship and family

okay so my college life ...people think i have a great life. i always wear nice clothes and they're always clean I have some expensive things etc but they don't know how hard it was to get them and to work for them. i have many friends...but the more i think about it it feels like i have none.

I get invited to parties and other places a lot but i cant go and have to make up stupid exuces because i need to do work or look after my brother or work

no one really notices when something is wrong or maybe i dont want them to notice im not sure :/ its just i think im scared of people judging me or something

my dad is drinking , he has alcohol issues. he makes most of the money in the family however not even 20 percent goes towards the family the rest he spends of buying alcohol for him and his friends and ..well it feels like he doesnt love my mum , my litle brother or me

he never has time for any of us and thinks we're all stupid and a waste of space he actually told me that.

its really hard for me to look after my little bro and the house and my mum and be with my girlfriend as well as do all my college stuff on time.

I'm currently doing 5 A-Levels as well as being publicity officer and student governor in the student union and I just don't know if i can do all of these things :/

it gets me really down i never get any time to spend on my self or with my self

my girlfriend understands but she doesn't know what's going on with me
she thinks im just stressed out because of college..she knows theres more and tried to talk to me about it but i would always say its fine and act all happy

I guess im just scared to talk about it .. i want to be with my litle brother so he can have a better childhood then i did , i want to be able to help my mother around the house as well as spending time with my girlfriend at least twice a week and i really want to do good in college its the most important thing to me but its so hard :/ so much pressure ]

i really want to leave next year and move away but im really worried about what will happen to my brother :/ hes only 9 and without me he would be upset and scared most of the time :'(

i don't know why im writing this here i never told anyone or shared it with anyone but i just feel so alone :/ i want to know if someone is in the same boar as me and could give me some advice or help

sorry about any typos etc i don't really care about that at the moment :/ thanks

 

I can't relate to the alcoholic dad, but I can to some of the other stuff. I actually didn't have a dad until I was in grade school, so. People always think I'm rich too, because I have stuff, but I really don't. I've worked for a lot of stuff, and saved up a lot of money. And as far as the kids go, I worry about my sister (8) and brother (4) everyday, because I want them to grow up nicely and have a good childhood, but at the same time, I just want to be away.

Just do things to take your mind off of so much. Play some sports, workout, etc..

 

i wouldnt want you to get offended if i said smoke some weed.


But really, hide it from your bro. Smoke something

Times will get way better when you get out of college!
I wanna major in accounting and become a stock broker.
Im on year 1 of college, i know year one is supossed to be the easiest. maybe thats why its not hard yet.
Call your mom! She loves you and would love to talk to you at anytime