Weird feeling.

Hey guys... I don't know what to write about this, because the feeling is quite a mystery to me anyways.

About two weeks ago, I relapsed on depression. I was happy for about a month before that. Before that I was flat out depressed... Now, I'm feeling happy. Overly happy. I still feel that feeling of depression, like that odd gut-feeling. But for some reason I'm still EXTREMELY happy. I mean the type of happy where I'm giddy, bubbly, energetic and just flat out odd.

Has anyone ever felt this?... Or know what it could be?...

 

I'm still feeling like this... It doesn't even change when things that SHOULD make me depressed happen...

 

But it's coupled with the weird gut-feeling of depression... Along with some suicidal thoughts...

 

I know whenever someone has some kind of depression issue, bipolar disorder is always brought up. To me, it certainly sounds like it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder

I believe there is medication and drugs available that can be used to stabilise your mood and dampen or in some cases expel these depressive states.. although I'm no expert. Talk to someone more qualified if you're interested in some kind of treatment.

 

How long does it last?

I get short periods of happiness and they usually last a couple of minutes.

 

I've talked to 3 doctors. First one was an adult psychiatrist. She said that because I don't spend $1000+ on my highs, and because my high/lows are not spaced out by a few weeks (They lasted a few days at that time) I didn't qualify as bipolar. The second, a psych that dealed with teens. He said because my highs/lows didn't last 2 weeks+ I didn't qualify and by just talking to me through a casual conversation, he could see I wasn't bipolar. The 3rd was just a doctor and told me by looking at the way I dress and act around him (in 3 minutes time) I wasn't bipolar and to abandon that idea.

I was 99% sure I was bipolar. But the doctors didn't want to diagnose me and instead jumped onto depression. I'm also joining the forces, and to be quite honest, I won't be giving up the forces for some pills. Because even if I were diagnosed, I wouldn't go on them, there's better ways to cope, rather than with a pill.

It used to be 3-4 days depression, 1-2 days happy. Now it's 1 and a half - 2 weeks depression, 3-5 weeks happy.

And Gohan, you know, if you're ever feeling down for any reason what so ever (or even for no reason) just message me on msn, and if I don't respond send me an email. I'll be there for you man

And thanks for responding guys. I already assumed I'm bipolar. And I've been told by countless others I probably am (or schizo). It's an odd feeling... Like, a few days ago, I've had 2 people come up to me directly with suicide threats and for some reason it didn't affect me negatively. I was still laughing and joking around with them...

 

same. lmao


edit: sounds like your almost high without being high, if you think you have bipolar disorder go see a doctor and find out if you do or not.

 

Do you take any prescription medication?

 

Nope. I've just enlisted for the military and taking meds really isn't something I can do.

 

I've talked to quite a few and they label me as nothing but "Clinically depressed". I know for a fact this isn't clinical depression.
The doctors are lazy and once they browse through my medical records, they go ahead and make the diagnosis based on what the previous doctors diagnosed me with.

 

May i ask why do you know that you dont have clinical depression, you certainly do show some signs of it.

 

My moods really vary. It can be a week of being depressed, then a month of being overly happy, then perhaps a month of being depressed and a week of being happy. It just doesn't fully fit the criteria.
I've also noticed while I'm on one of my "highs" I've been getting hardly any sleep, yet I'm feeling fully functional. I mean, sure I'm tired, but I can still go about my day like any other person. I've only slept about 14-18 hours in 7 days.

 

Man i have this too, except more like Gohans style. happy-time for a few minutes. then relapse into depression. however i channel the depression into determination, to always try and be better.

I have clinical depression.

 

Yeah I experience this as well when I am depressed for longer periods of time. Like Gohan and hey guys, the happy feelings are usually short lasted, but might occur several times in the day. I believe it's your brain telling you it doesn't want to be depressed anymore, as weird as that might sound. For me, it's like I'm asking myself "why am I feeling like this again?" and for a few minutes I feel better and hopeful that I can overcome whatever is putting me down. Then I remember what it is that caused it, and the depression starts again.

 

To be honest, it's possible that you're just managing to con yourself or put on an act that's so convincing you believe it yourself, while the depression feeling is still there and you can feel it, you can consciously be happy even though your subconscious is still depressed