Shit that's bothering me

Well, I'll make a list. I don't expect anyone to make me feel better or anything, I just need to vent since I have no friends to talk to.


1. My girlfriend of 3 years doesn't love me and is with me because I convinced her to try and make something out of it.

2. I have no friends because I don't know how to act in social situations with idiots

3. My one best friend (lives next door) uses me and only wants to see me when I smoke with him, then leaves after like an hour

4. My online college work is overwhelming and overdue

5. I lost my job a month and a half ago, but was way ahead on my rent, so I can keep living here for 7 months. Or 8 if he doesn't expect me to pay him right away

6. I'm going through some crazy withdraws from not having money to support my habits

7. I dread talking to my family because they always ask how my schooling is going, even though they know I'm behind

8. I spend a lot of time on the computer and let my apartment get pretty messy. I hate to look at it, even though it's just clothes and empty bottles everywhere.

9. My dad and I don't have anything in common since he said the other day he wants to stop smoking weed.

10. I have been diagnosed depression, ADD, and social anxiety and have had medication available for around 4 years that I don't take.

11. I feel like I'm cut off from the world and that I don't relate to anyone besides the people I have small debates or conversation with on Sythe and over the internet.

12. Regarding number 11, I don't even have friends on the internet.

13. I hate the way I look

14. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life

I know it's not very in-depth. I suppose I'd be willing to elaborate on some points if anyone cares.

 

Sounds like you are going through a lot right now
I think it would make you feel better if you tried changing things around. Don't try to fix everything at once, but take it one step at a time. I suggest starting with the easiest, and working your way to the harder areas. Once you see some change within yourself, you will feel better about yourself. Also, having other hobbies than being online would help you out, and give you self worth. Do some sports, get active and you will gain more confidence. Feel free to add my Msn if you feel like talking.

 

yeah i agree with guidy take one step at a time .. first clean your whole house so it looks nice so you feel good about it that would be a start, and yeah as giddy said start going out and doing things go to the local pool go to an arcade start being more social with people you have encouters with, get a job awsome way to make some friends and keep living well, once your girlfriend sees the change in you im sure she will be more appreciatave and add my msn at any time man always available to talk

 

Cleaning my apartment usually makes me feel more comfortable to where I can invite people over if the opportunity comes my way. I'm currently staying in an apartment in a smaller town outside of Chicago until I get everything straightened out. We don't have a pool or an arcade or really anything to do locally by yourself that will help you meet people.
I got kicked out of my highschool like 4 or 5 years ago and sort of lost contact with everyone i usually talked to. i'm sure my girlfriend wants to see change in me, but I don't even know how to begin. I am looking for a job possibly at the Best Buy or geek squad a town over but coming from my previous management position it's not much money.

Thanks, The problem I'm having is that I have no idea what hobbies I can do that will help me meet people. I'm not athletic and I'm pretty skinny, not very strong. Sports have never been my thing and unless I want to start working out and stuff, I don't see me being very good because I never have been. Working out can help relieve stress I've heard, but I'm embarrassed to work out in front of other people at the gym or something cuz I've always been made fun of for being so thin. I guess you can consider that lack of self confidence

 

Going to the gym would be a good place to start. You could meet new people with common goals there. I understand your lack of self confidence when working out with others, but I do believe that now that you are older than high school, anyone who mocks you for not being able to lift a billion pounds is just immature. Also, if you searched around, I bet you could find a good gym where 'average' people go (opposed to one of those gyms where all the body builders go).

 

sorry tripple post accident

 

sorry for ^

my reply was
What does your girlfriend like to do? maybe talk to her and find some hobbies you both can get into or mayb start going to the gym, just go normal hours when most people are working, and dont worry noone at the gym would make fun of you for being so skinny, lol its hard to find something you enjoy doing in such a small community though, i know what its like i use to live in a farm town in alberta ( canada ) but start going for walks even is a start eating healthier is good too it and if you smoke alot of weed ( like me ) think about not smoking so much during the day so you will actually HAVE the motivation to do something, or see what your neighbor likes to do if he says hes going to do something ask to go with him

 

I know, I'm just uncomfortable with the whole atmosphere at a gym. It would help if I had someone to work out with, but I have basically no friends except for the people I buy drugs from.. and they're not really friends

The people in my neighborhood are all gang bangers and drug dealers. they're really not the type of positive influence i want in my life, and they introduced me to hard drugs in the first place. I need to meet people that live outside my neighborhood that have better values. My girlfriend lives at school, so i only see her on the weekends when she's tired and wants to sleep. we watch movies and stuff, but that's about the extent of our activities. Her friends are all dudes that try to fuck her whenever she hangs out with them, but as usual she doesn't realize that. I'd rather not throw my values away just for a few friends. I wanna find people that share the same values as me.

 

alright, seems like you've been through alottt. When i started feeling down on myself i started going to the gym. You meet knew people with the same interests. Set a goal for yourself and take one step at a time.
Chin up.
Hope I helped

 

Yes,I agree with others.It does sound like your going threw alot man, but honestly I would take that list and make another list of short and long term goals and achieve each goal.

 

i would suggest trying to take prescribed medication more faithfully and as directed. this could help you to feel better and make you feel as if you have a better grip on your life and you can use this to turn it around

 

All your problems excluding 11-13 can be resolved-- or at least put into perspective-- by you gritting your teeth and just getting involved with your family, no matter how much they may misunderstand you or how disappointed they MAY be because school isn't going smoothly at the moment.

Talk to them, ask them for help. Hell, move back in with your parents or with your siblings (if you have any) and get your money back that you put into rent. That way you can continue with your habits if they still make you happy. It's probably not going to be what you want to do, and it'll probably be rough, but you may come to realize that it's better than where you're at now.

Finding a healthy hobby is also a good thing as far as cheering yourself up or finding friends. Working out may be uncomfortable, but you could do sports or something like that

 

yeah i would say make ammends with your parents move back with them etc obviously this area where you live is putting you into a deep depression, theres nothing for you to even start doing.

 

I hope this can help you

http://sythe.org/showthread.php?t=987285

 

The problem with my medication is that it makes me sick to my stomach. If I ever need to get stuff done, I just get an energy drink and smoke some pot. Then I like try and clean my apartment or whatever.

Thanks, I looked that over the other day. Good idea.

I can't move in with my parents. They live in a one story 3 bedroom house with my younger brother and sister. Theres a kitchen, a living room, and like a den. They would let me live in the den, but I would be taking like a room of their already small house when there really isn't enough room as it is.. I couldn't do that to them, you know? Especially if it was so I could still do drugs.

I haven't the slightest clue how to go about joining sport.

I wouldn't wanna move in with my parents. Are you suggesting that I move?

 

You know, I guess that's true, however, look at it this way: It might come down to either 1) Stay in your current house/apartment and give up drugs so you can use the money to continue living there, 2) Move into your parents house, and give up drugs so you have a good conscience about living in their rooms, or 3) check into a rehab clinic so you can have a living space, and be properly taken off drugs. Being off drugs might even be a good thing, you'd be able to find people to be friends with who aren't just bi-products of your habits

About finding sports, you can apply to be an assistant coach for a highschool/jr. high or you can see about getting into your college sports teams.. but that's only if you're into physical exercise 'n shit (I assumed so because going to the gym was mentioned somewhere in the thread)

 

If you dont love your girlfriend, finish with her its unfair on her and you to keep dragging her on.

You/her will sort things out or fall in love again with someone else

&Giddy summed up the rest really its hard to start change but if you actually get down to it and stop thinking about it

it can be done.

 

Yeah i am suggesting you move somewhere else more of a city envirment or at least where you have something you can actively go do because where you are it sounds like you pretty much have to stay home unless your on the streets wich sounds like is NOT where you to be

 

I'm in a similar situation for some points. I just finished high school and didn't enjoy a moment of it. I probably had 2-3 close friends that I didn't even like being around in the end. I always envied people that could joke around and act like little kids, because they always seemed to have perfect lives. I am just the sort of person who will sit silently wondering why people are laughing at someone falling over or doing something stupid, and I'll just feel bad for them and not say anything. But I've moved home from another country and with a good uni course just starting around the corner, I'm trying my best to make sure I can be the person I want to be this time around.

Personally, I will start to go to the gym soon and hopefully I'll meet some people before uni starts.. I'm searching for a job to both make money and meet some people around my age.

My honest advice to you is to try joining a gym or a social club of some sort. Go meet some people and forget those in your past. A move to a new area might really help.

Good luck, I'm sure you'll find your way!