What to do..

Hello, My name is Arik and I'm 15, been going through a lot lately, I found out last summer that I was adopted within the family, my real mother had me when she was 16 and her dad took me in as there son, which makes my real mother my sister and my real grandfather my current dad, my adopted parents are refusing me to see my bio-logical mother and are trying to block off communication entirely, she wants me to move in with her when I turn 16, which is in April but I can't see myself leaving the family that raised me, any suggestions?

 

Go where your heart goes.
I think both sides care about you alot. Your real mother must have grown more mature and more thoughtful than when she was 16.

However you have to tell them they cant block you off from your biological mother. Doing so only causes problems, tell them how you feel.

Its best to try and convince them to let you visit her, and live in between.

 

I am a little confused. Are you currently living with your grandfather? and you want to see your "sister" who is really your mother?

in any case, you really need to go with your heart as hey guys says. adopted or not, the people who raised you ARE your family. Naturally adopted people usually are interested in meeting their biological parents but in the end, the people who raised you, the people who helped you, the people who care about you...that....that is your family

 

Sounds like a pretty tough situation that you are going through right now. First I would like to just put out that just because your mom didn't actually raise you/take care of you as a child doesn't mean that she doesn't love you. I'm sure that she loves you very much, but having her father raise you was the best option at the time for both you and your mother.

As for you going to see you mother, I don't see why not. Sit down with your current adoption parents and tell them how you are felling, and that you want to at least try going and reuniting with your birth mother. Chances are that your birth mother is a very loving person, that has probably wanted to be with you for a long time. In my opinion I just don't think that any child should be separated from there own birth mother when they have the chance to reunite.

As for you leaving your current adopted family, It's really your choice. One thing to remember is that just because you go to live with your mom/visit your mom doesn't mean that you and your adoption parents will be separated forever. There shouldn't be a problem with you going in visiting them every now and again, as I assume you have created a pretty good bond between yourself and your adoption parents.

Anyways I wish you the best of luck in whatever you do, and don't be persuaded completely by my assistance. If you want to stay with your adopted parents then do it, and if you want to live with your real mother that's fine as well. There is really no right or wrong answer here, and my assistance is just to try and help you along the way. Again I hope this helps, and good luck!

 

Thanks guy, that means a lot, it was really tearing at me inside, this has been in my head for months.