I need motivation.

Halp? I finished high school last year in 2009. But since then I've done nothing but scape, eat and sleep. I want to study Engineering, and I tried that for about 3 months and ended up dropping out. I couldn't focus, it wasn't because I wanted to play scape. I just ended up procrastinating everything. I worked for pizza hut for 3 months and had to quit because I lost my license.

I partially blame my parents for not reinforcing me and being too lenient on me during high school. But then I think about it, it's all my fault. Not theirs. I wasted so much time not studying when I should of been. Anyway, I'm going to try this Uni thing again in January, but I can't get in directly anymore, so I have to go through college and waste another year. My parents have always pressured me, saying that no matter what happens, I have to go to Uni. Since I was 14 they've pressured me, I'm not even sure if being an Engineer is my choice or theirs. It's like I've been lying to myself all this time, I'm starting to believe that I want to be an Engineer. Because I haven't really thought about anything else.

I'm quitting scape for good. I'm going to sell my accounts on sythe, I don't care if I get scammed, atleast the account will be gone.

But I'm still worried I still won't be able to find the motivation I need to actually hit the books. I'm worried I'll end up procrastinating studies again, and because now I'm 18 (19 in 24 days), it will be so much easier to procrastinate because I can go out clubbing now. All my friends think I'm happy because I always have money to go out, and have everything planned out. But the reality is, nothing turns out the way you plan. I'm miserable, I'm worried I won't get accepted into my course, I'm worried about what would happen if I don't get accepted. At this point in the year it's too late to find alternative pathways, this is my last shot to be something I wanted to be.

I have tried to talk about this with other people. Only 2-3 people actually got to me, and to my surprise, 1 was a family member and the other 2 were complete strangers. It's nice to hear people say that I can do it with certainty and dedication. Not once have I heard words of encouragement from my parents, in fact it's quite the opposite. Which is the reason I believe I've lost motivation, if my parents don't think I can do it why would I believe any different, they know me best of all (or so they think..)

Whatever the response from this thread is, I just wanted to get this off my chest and start the New Year fresh and clean. Without any past regrets.

TL;DR - I NEED A MUSE. Don't suggest a girlfriend, tried that, didn't work. Ended up being more of a distraction.

 

Ok Off topic question thats very nooby. WTF does TL;DR mean. -.-

lol O/T: Ok after reading this, follow the instructions. Even if they sound ABSOLUTELY retarded, Its how I calm my A.D.H.D. This gets me better grades, and I hope it works for you, because I made this up...buut...it works on getting focused. Ok...

-close your eyes.

-picture yourself on a path, which has two other paths leading differnent directions coming off of it.

-you look the left, and see a broken craggly road, with a creaking sign on it that says: life if you dont study.

-you look to the right, and see a stone paved road, with flowers and gold specs surrounding it. This, also, has a sign over it, except this sign is nice and neat. it reads: The right choice, studying will make life easier on you.

-So then, imagine your taking a walk down these roads. When I walk down the left road, I see everything that could happen if I dont study/try harder
I see a Mcdonalds, that if you look through the window, you see me flipping patties. I see my parents disappointed faces. I see all my friends with better jobs, more money, laughing at me. I normally imagine myself bolting outta there.

-Ok, time for the RIGHT road. Walk down it, and I see a huuuge building that says: Kylie's School of Drama and other Fine Arts. I see my parents with proud looks on their faces, and I see my friends eyes' wide with jealousy.

So, basically, Im putting everything that could happen, to everything that WILL happen if I dont study/try harder. Also, the left road is probably what will happen to you if you dont get your act together. It was a good decision, quitting RuneScape. Well, thats my advice. Hope you take it :\

 

TL;DR = Too long, didn't read. Usually a short statement follows up to summarise.

On topic, that is a really good metaphor. I've been thinking about it all day, and I just think it might work! Thank you, New Years is around the corner, and I have a good feeling about 2011 now.

 

Is there not anything else that interests you that doesn't involve going to Uni? How about policing or firefighting?

 

No prob, glad I could help :] and thanks for TL;DR haha ive been wondering about that for days!

 

I have this problem too..
I'm a senior and i'm starting to not care anymore since im graduating in 6 months.

Anywho, You have to decide what's important for you. You decide if you prefer somethings, honestly if you figure out what you truly want and not what everyone makes you think you want, or you should dd, then you will become motivated enough to obtain those things.
For example, I am going to a really academic school and i have been accepted to several good private colleges and state colleges, what not. But i've begun to realize that college may not be the perfect thing for me, im just trying to say that you should figure out what you really want and go from there.