Dating best mates ex im meant to be helping him get back with

Ok so i'v decided to come to you guys for advice since none of you know me ;D
and I dont see how this can backfire.

My best mate like feel in love with this chick that he works with, and they dated for like a week before she saw he was rushing into a lot of shit and broke up with him cos she just got outta a long and serious relationship and the last thing she wanted was to rush into someone new. I meet her a little over a month ago at a party (the day they started going out) and after they broke up I thought I would try help him out and talk to her and see whats going on cos he really wants to get back with her.
We became really good friends fast, and a couple weeks ago my mate asked me if there was something going on between us, if I liked her or anything, now I didn't at the time, and never really saw her in that kinda way, but started to kinda like he abit that way after I was asked, the same thing happened with her...
and about 5 days ago she told me and we hooked up, now since all her friends are friends with me and my best mate now, we kinda thought if anything was gonna happen, we would have to keep it a secret for a while till my mate moves on.
since then we have seen eachother everyday, and have been acting like we are dating eachother, just been like sneaky about it, only kissing when people arent around and holding hands where we know we could get caught.. and today she asked me since we are basically doing everything a couple would do, does that mean we are a couple, I told her yes, so we are "secretly dating"

I dont know what im asking... I guess im just venting since I cant tell anyone about this without it flying back in my face >_<

But what is your advice on the matter... is what im doing right? like we cant help how we feel...
but should I be doing this to my best mate since hes still like in love with her and still asking me for my help to get back with her..

 

First, how close are you and your mate? Would he take your side over hers; as in, if you told him about your little secret would he like never talk to you again or something, or what he forgive you over time?

 

umm knowing him he would say hes cool with it, but like deep down he would be cut and broken about it and most likely space himself from me...

 

im pretty shore he will be cool with it if not tell him its gunna happen anyway lol if he is that good of a friend he really wont care

 

That's such a dog move if he is still into her. Back away bro. Don't shit on your friends like that.

 

Your friend is being an ass. Once a girl rejects you, there's no point hoping that she might accept you again, unless under special circumstances. Tell him that and hang out with that girl less often. If he asks you what's going on, tell him that she's rejected you. This will make him feel better since he won't the only one rejected. Also, I don't think the girl is serious about the relationship, so stop it before she breaks up with you and before you get depressed.

 

Pardon me for my language but I think she's just being a slut. She likes this whole secret situation you two made up and loves the fact that you're doing this behind your friends back. She's nothing but a cheap little bitch that will dump you in a flash of a second as soon as your little dirty secret isn't so secret anymore.

There's tons of girls out there, settle for someone that's worth it. By the sound of it you're not a really good friend for doing something like this. Drop her ass before it comes to late and your left without a girlfriend and a friend.

 

He's going to hate you. I would tell him now. If you don't tell him it will only get worse.

 

In my opinion, since she has been in a long meaningful relationship, she is looking desperately for that feeling of being with someone again because once you have that "feeling" of being open with another person, you strive for that feeling every day whether you know it or not. So basically she may not exactly know what she wants for sure. She may just want that security of having someone there for here which is what us guys think of as getting with someone, but in retrospect, is it really what "should" be happening?

In your case it seems like everything is starting out fine. Yeah your best friend might be pissed that your with the girl he likes, but if you two are happy about it then so be it. On the other hand, she did kind of just jump from him to you.. Thats kind of a quick transfer from another guy.

My advice? Take it slow, get to know each other before running off, having sex and then realize you two weren't meant for each other. If your looking for something that will last, this doesn't seem like your option unless you take it down a notch and consider a few things of your own.

Good luck anyhow

 

You are nothing but the rebound. she's only with you because your friend wanted something serious and that's why she ran out. You two have no special bond other than that you're both are fucking with the same guy.

This type of girl doesn't want love, she wants to mind fuck. Trust me you don't want this type of chick.

 

oo that stinks bro sorry i got no advice accept brake up with her.

 

I could easily argue and give reasons why what you're doing is right, but...
I'm going to speak in the perspective of your "best mate."
You're an asshole.

Seriously, think about it
how would you feel if you were in his shoes?

 

What your doing is absolutely wrong but the wrong part about the situation probably isn't what you think. It is perfectly fine for you to like her and go out with her even though she's your mate's ex, but doing it behind his back is wrong and it will back fire eventually. Worst case scenario is he finds out and you guy cease being friends. Eventually you and the girl break up and now you have lost both. Unless you plan on marrying this girl you have to realize that relationships come and go and stabbing your friend in the back isn't worth it.

Its not to complicated to make things right though. Talk to your friend and tell him straight up that you know he still likes her but honestly she wasn't in to him. Remind him that he should move on and they only went out for a week. Then tell him while you were trying to change her mind both you and her really clicked and we are thinking about dating but I wanted to make sure to tell you first.

It sounds hard to do but its the right thing and he'll get over it eventually. Getting caught backstabbing though is much worse and you could lose that friend forever.

 

Lol
I did state this was only me venting, I know what I want, and I'm taking it slow with her, we have basically shown most of our friends we are together and only keeping it a secert still till my mate moves on witch he's doing pretty fast.
I think my mate was the rebound and we are only together now cos we did get to know eachother first....
Thanks for the feed back guys

 

As long as you're happy and you know that you're doing the right thing. Try to remember people have feelings, and be sensitive about it when you finally do tell your friend. He'll probably be sad about it and act like he's fine like you said but honestly? Are you going to be okay with that? Make him feel like you're best mates, and do the right thing while you're doing the worst.

 

I was on the other end of this (her end, except I have a penis, and I'm sure she doesn't)

I was dating this chick who was literally, psychotic (Taylor for name's sake). I won't go into details, but it was annoying, but the booty was good, so I stuck with it. But I planned a road trip to Florida, and Taylor and her best friend Kimmy (my current girlfriend) were both going to go with me. Well it ended up being just me and Kimmy. Well.... Florida... Plus Bars... equals... guess it. And to make a long story short, Kimmy chose me over Taylor. I personally regret letting her chose me. BUT, she is a grown ass woman. So she can make her own damn decisions. It tore their friendship apart, kinda harshly to be honest. As for advise, let me warn you, its a ticking time bomb. The wrong person is going to find out, followed by your mate. It depends how much this chick means to you compared to how close you and him are. I personally believe everything happens for a reason... Everything. That was over a year ago and me and Kimmy are still together, doing great. But be warned, most people don't change, and if she will do it for you, she MIGHT do it to you. You COULD sweat it out and see what happens. But if I was your homie, I would rather find out from you, than from the grapevine.

 

Yeah thanks for that, best advice so far.
We aren't telling anyone at all till we tell my mate, then we will be telling everyone.

 

So I told him I like her, and he seems good with it, expected that, he thinks he's fucked up too many times and there is no way he's gonna get with her.
I'm not looking for love as well, just read some of the comments, what I didn't say before though is I just came outta a 2 year relationship, a serious one too... So if anything she is my rebound, not the other way around but I'm gonna take it slow anyway and not rush into shit, just have Fun

 

Thats all life is. Good luck with it. Wear your raincoat =D

 

messing with your friends girl/ex will never end up well for you i have had a friend that did it to me and it ruined a long friendship but if you are really into her talk to him about it kinda feel it out with him and see how he reacts or you could just leave her alone u know the old saying "Bros b4 Hoes" - pardon my language