My downfall.

Truth is, I'm sick of everything. I'm sick of being fucked over by "friends", I'm tired of dealing with shitty parents, and I'm dick of living this lie around public to hide what little decency the community thinks I have left. Truth is that I know I'll probably end up in prison within the next five years, and I honestly don't care. I also know that the little group of people I could actually call real friends are worried about me, and they don't even know half of what is going on. I'm tired living two different lives, I can't be the quiet, smart, 'good kid' around everyone anymore because it disgusts me, and I'm perplexed beyond belief by the bullshit some people buy these days. There's really only one person who knows who I really am, what I actually do, and how I actually live; and I love her. But that can't happen either, so I'm just going to let things unfold by themselves for now, and see how the final result plays out. Basically, I'm giving up, this is my downfall; and I don't care.

Now you may be asking why I even took the time to write this and post it here, and the answer is simple: It's because you guys don't care either, about anything you've just read, and that's the way I want it.

 

Well, your not going to work things out if you dont care, lets just get that down.

And I'am pretty sure no one that does read this stuff cares, there not ment to, we have our own things to worry about as well. But we are here to try and help you over.

Why do you think your going to end up in jail?

Thats not a very postive thing to look forward to nor is it somthing to "Not Care About".

When I feel like this I just picture my self on my death bed. Makes you think that there is more to life then going to jail =S

 

It's only your downfall if you DON'T try and truly feel like giving up is your best option.
You don't have to be the quiet smart good kid if you don't choose to.
You don't have to end up in prison within 5 years.
Just ask yourself this "Is it really worth it?" you CAN change your life if you want to, all you need is a little bit of motivation.
You are who you are and no one can change that.

 

Your life can't be so bad that jail is better. You need to find something in life that you like/makes you "happy" and start from there. Take what in life makes you the worst and get rid of it.

Also it would help to get out of the mindset that the world is all hell. There are good thhings in life and no matter how "bad" yorus may be I am sure there are things you look forward to.

Turning your focus from the bad things to the good things may help you out. Also try to get involved in soething, somewhere. Jail is by far tthe last place on earth you want to go and you don't want to lose your freedom.

 

Hello, Greggy.

It appears all your life, your parents have neglected you as a child, your friends have secretly cheated on you and you've grown tired of trying to be someone else. Now you've lost any hope for a good life, and you're giving up just like that.

You believe you'll end up in prison within five years. For what reason, I know not. But are you considering joining the dark side of the world? Know the risks, Greg. You will find no true friends there. The person you trust now the most could become your worst enemy tomorrow there. Every minute, you'll live in fear of being killed. Are you sure you want that? To be deprived of any freedom, peace and love? Mere words cannot describe what you'll go through.

The reason your 'real' friends do not understand what is going on is because:

A) They are not your true friends and they do not really care for your well being, and so they did not bother keeping track of what's going on in your life.
B) You did not even bother to tell them such about such an important matter. Do you even consider them to be true friends? True friends often share their darkest fears with each other. Did you?

We're talking about YOUR life, Greg. You believe you hold no significance in this world and that your own death or downfall would cause no grief to anyone, not even to the girl you love.

The most important period in human life is during the age of thirteen to eighteen. During this period, depression and suicides are very common. Do you believe you will accomplish anything by dying?

Right now, you're in a state of rage and you are neglecting to see the bright side of the world. Do not think you have the shittiest life in the world. I can point out a lot of places where people face even more hardship, and yet, they are content with what little they have. Are you?

So I ask you, Greg. Are you willing to give one more shot at life? Are you willing to simply be yourself? Are you willing to mind all the shitty things that happen to you? Are you willing to live through your life a little more and see if I was right?

Live or die. Make your choice.

 

This isn't a damn SAW movie.

I can't take you seriously with all of the seemingly sarcastic phrases, and the cheesy green and blue "live or die." Though death doesn't sound so bad, I'm not suicidal, and prison sounds great. Solitary Confinement sounds even more amazing. And to say my life hold's no significance would be a lie. I'm sure someone somewhere would be saddened or upset if I were gone and that I could have accomplished something within my lifetime; but none of that really matters to me. I find that after living your life being humble and self-conscious at a constant rate soon forms you into not caring about anyone, not even yourself (Unless you count selfish, because I can admit I'm being selfish). So in the end I'd rather just be alone, and not have to deal with anything. In all ways it's just like suicide except you're alive, I guess, and until you know my life you cannot tell me that Prison, being alone, or death are not the better options, because to me they are.



And for the rest of you, I'm assuming that with the join dates and the post-counts you all aren't here to help or assist anyone, but to use this whole section of the forum just to get a quick up in your post-count.

 

I've had this same feeling before, especially yesterday.
Fucked up shit happens to everyone, you're not alone. Really just stick it out, find something you enjoy, and man up to the girl you like, you never know, it's worth a shot. But then again you should act more like yourself, i also have this double life. Act one way at school, and another at home and i hate it. Just start being yourself, but don't hurt others or your own being. You're lucky to be alive, don't waste it.

 

Maybe if you hadn't shut yourself away from the world, you wouldn't be in this state. It's ironic, really. You come in here, write a story about your downfall, and then say 'I don't give a shit about whether you give a shit about me or not,' when in reality, you're hoping for answers.

Since you believe that I know nothing about your life, why not clearly tell me exactly what shit you have to go through? You're not the only one with shitty parents and backbiting friends.

Your life's becoming a lie, Greg. Sitting in prison won't do us or you any good. Do something about it.

And you believe just because you're a 07'er with a low post count you've helped out around here more than me? What could I possibly do with post count around here? I haven't traded for months, and if you're thinking that I'm a scammer because of the TwC, you've drawn the wrong conclusion.

 

^

I've already seen several quality posts from Gurtaton in the last week. If you assume that low post count people are the only ones posting, you're sadly mistaken. No one will want to help you with your "thanks, but fuck you" attitude to the members.

As to your post, I believe that you are lacking drive. You need to find out what you are really good at, get better at it, and turn it into a job. A successful man works at something he enjoys. You also need to find hobbies, and start going out and doing social activities that help you interact with people, and possibly make friends that help you to laugh and feel happy again.

Jail is NOT the best option. There is far more happiness outside 4 walls than inside, and you are merely thinking inside the box.

 

I've been to jail, Trust me, you're fine where you are. Prison sucks, you're beaten everyday the food sucks, nothing there is good.

 

Do you realize giving up is never the answer?

You posted this not because you didn't care but because you want help, but the truth is at this point in your life, where it seems as though you are severely depressed, the truth is only you can help yourself but you HAVE to want it. I'd love to help you out, at least with some general advice.

PM me for my MSN and we can talk there. Just don't say you don't care because deep down, we all know you do. Jail will just make things worse. I'm going to keep it at this for now so I read your response.

Remember man there are people who care, even if they don't know you. Best of luck, and take care!

 

You're being weak. The honest truth I'm going to give you is that life's a bitch. Pain and sorrow are nothing but two of your best friends that you'll ever have but dread to meet. You'll learn from all your mistakes and experinces but never let them hold you back from moving forward.

You have a mind that can take you places, let it. If you need to know that if anyone cares, I'll tell you that I do. I might be some nerd from the internet but I truly understand, trust me,

 

Sorry about the late response, I've had a lack of internet over the past few months.

Almost got arrested last week. Turns out you can't enter an elementary school over Christmas break at 10pm to look for a basketball. :\ Funny Story actually, the door was left open, but the police still came 5 minutes later, we ran and hid.

As for my whole situation, things aren't getting any better nor worse. Two weeks ago I ran away only to find that I have no where to go and it's a bitch to sleep in 12 degree weather. I almost tried heroin for the first time. xD I'm probably dropping out of school in two weeks, but I will get the whole GED thing at my community college... I've been looking for a place to live, with no luck.

OH, YEAH, THIS: It doesn't make sense, but if your parents tell you you're not allowed to stay in their house anymore or else the police will be involved (They were) and that you have to find somewhere else to stay, but then as soon as you walk out the door they call every family member and friend and tell them you're not allowed to stay there. What are you supposed to do?

My Vodka last night tasted like an orange... Is that normal too?