Ehhh..

No idea why I'm posting this here. Probably just to get it off my chest. Anyways, I've been extremely depressed these past few months and just recently I've had continuous thoughts of ending it. Though I find it extremely selfish, I still think about it.

So if none of you know, I live with my brother and his girlfriend. I go to school 2 days a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays from 1 to 7:30. I don't talk at all and when I talk to people, either I don't find like I would be able to relate to them, or I don't want to even be around them. I can't seem to find someone I can talk to anymore.

Yes I've tried drinking and smoking, and none of those worked. I couldn't talk with those people and I didn't really want to talk. I'd rather be alone sometimes in my room than try and fit in.

So basically I turn to the computer for any fun, because if I'm not on, there is nothing else to do. Watching TV reminds me that no one else is with me and I'm alone which is most cases at night where I am home alone until 7 in the morning.

No problems in school whatsoever. It's very easy. With the free time I had, I am sure to make my bed, wash the dishes, take the trash out, everything I can do to help out. Job is out of the question because of no transportation.

What I'm trying to convey here is that even after therapy and medications, after a year of finally coming back here, hanging out with my friends, trying to have fun with them, In the end I'd rather be alone. I have excessive arguments with my brother and mother. I hardly speak to my father, at most 3 minutes a day on the phone.

I don't mind what you post I just needed to vent out, since I'm sitting here at a friends house with nothing to look forward to anymore.

 

I know how you feel. When your relationship with your family is like strangers, everything else seems to be pointless. Even if you have many friends, they can not make up for what you lose when you're under one roof with your family, minding your own business, and acting like you don't know each other. I have similar situation, infact i'm currently locked in my room just studying, and sything. I know it's tough when you don't have anyone that says "i love you" to you. I know it's hard to just sit at home and do absolutely nothing. But i've found an alternative to getting rid of boredom. In my free time, I learn how to cook. I am serious. I always hated cooking but food network makes me wanna do magic. I started off small making things like onion rings, french fries etc. All from scratch. Especially when it's your first time cooking something new, it takes forever and time flies. Before you know it, the day will be over. My favorite show to watch is Triple D's (Diner, Drive-ins, and dives). Not only do they have food simple to make, they give the recipes too. But you have to be quick to note them so watch them online so you can go back in case you missed something. I know this will not be much of help, but try doing it. You've got nothing to lose. You can also try doing some home improvement tasks. Not only you learn something that could save you hundreds of dollars, (I learned how to change valve in toilet which the plumber said would take 200 bucks, in 5 mins on youtube). Tasks like these will take your mind off of other useless things. Hope you feel better buddie.

ps

gohan for global mod!

 

gohan <3

 

We're living lives, as twins; my life is almost identical, besides the point I only live with my mother and sister, I go to school 2-4 days a week in classes, that I have no interest in, whats so ever. I feel bored and rather different from everyone else, my age I'd rather be in my room alone than out there where people can see me, I've been dealing with Anthropophobia, basically my whole life. The only friend's I have, are a few people that I've known since the 6th grade, and I hate being with them, because of the fear of self embarrassment. I can only, tell you that it does get better, do your best in school graduate and get a job, your life hasn't even began yet; and neither has mine. Medications, and "therapy" do shit, and make you feel more out there than you actually are.

I have no idea, why I don't like being around people; but to help my self understand it more, I try to put myself in situations, where I'm around tons. Maybe you should, try something new; get a part time job and see if that works.

 

Why do you, write like; this?

 

Add my msn man, I'm free to talk if you need.

 

Bump for great justice... Thanks for the comments so far guys, I'll respond in the morning to them

 

Since school is easy for you, why don't you try to get ahead? You could join study groups, make friends there. Also, for a job, you could tutor younger kids.

Just a suggestion to give you something to do.

 

Thanks for the response. You think I would get angry? lololol . Not asking for sympathy, asking for suggestions and you didn't give me any.

 

I'm not neglecting anything, I've just got too much free time. But thanks for being honest with me.

 

I think I'm in a similar situation to you, you can always talk to me if you want. I', on msn most of the time.

 

dude gohan i neva thought u was like this u neva act like u depressed or nothing dude.

Well how about you get a Job at a call centre you never feel alone

 

Have you tried just relaxing, when you feel depressed, have a bath or something because when your relaxed it gives your muscles a rest and stops you getting angry. This is what I normally do, hope you get other this bad time dude and If you need to talk, [email protected] is my email.

 

You've got me to talk to GOKU!

No seriously, do you have money issues? Maybe thats the problem

 

Gohan, why do you only go to school 2 days a week?

Secondly, I'm sure this is no psychologist approved method, but I suggest you take up a goal oriented activity. The one I can think of that best suits you (from my limited knowledge of you) is World of Warcraft, but it could be anything: a sport, a board game, another video game. Just wake up in the morning and say "i'm going to get x done today". I think this will give you a good reason to live, even if the reason is only leveling to 80 in WoW.

 

Dude, find a single activity that gets you out of the house and makes you feel accomplished. For me, its a sport, because honestly when I CBF'd going out, when I feel like sitting at home on a computer is a waste of time, and I watch the hours drip by talking to people on MSN and facebook, and the IRC/TC, nothing, and I mean nothing makes me feel more accomplished than a good long swimming sesh.

P.S. I guess I should tell you that ily more often :\

 

Well you just summed up my life in a paragraph.....I think i have the same thing you do....but... i do talk to people.I know how you feel..Everyday in lunch in school i sit by myself...not because i dont have any friends... i have friends but i just like to be alone...