God's Checklist for Christianity

Tell me, does this sound completely logical? Please note, I am not a Christian, and I am actually strongly against Religion as a whole.

Note: Everything you are about to read is in someway derived directly from the Bible, so don't try to say it isn't "true" (lol, irony.)

Christians, your God has apparently created a divine plan for the universe, all who inhabit it, and everything that will become of the universe, good, bad, right, and wrong, are foreseen by this God, and the intentions of such as so that we all lead ethical, healthy, "normal" lives, followed shortly thereafter, by eternal happiness, bliss, peace, and well-being.
You also believe your god is the sign of perfection, and sovereign, and as a human, we have NO rights to judge, critique, or bring in to question, the plan of your almighty, divine, perfect God, Lord, and Savior. Anything we as humans find wrong, flawed, or inadequate to your God's plan, is apparently attributed to our imperfections as human-beings in the universe, and seen by your God as sinful, rebellious, anarchist beings...

So, with all of that in your heads, I'll take this moment to remind you all what your God's "Divine plan" really is, and how contradictory, and lackluster it truly is.

"God's Divine Plan" (according to Christian beliefs)
-Arrange for something other than yourself to exist.
-Create a being, known as Lucifer, with full knowledge he/she will betray you, and cause an infinite amount of suffering, unnecessary pain, torture, and death.
-Allow an unfathomably horrific dimension come into existence, known as "Hell", created by yourself, or Lucifer, and allow that dimension to continue existing, and do nothing to destroy it -- that comes up later
-Create objective, unchanging, moral prescriptions, and base them on whatever your nature happens to be, and then label any action thought contrary to these standards, "sin"
-Be sure to include edicts for social and psychological health, such as promotion of family violence (beating your children) (Proverbs 23:13-14, permission to buy and sell slaves(Leviticus 25:44-46), require that women have no authority over men, and have not the right to teach (Timothy 2:9-14), and lastly, to KILL anyone with interest in worshiping any other "god" (Deuteronomy 13:6-10).
-Design a physical universe with planets, earth, vegetation, and animals, all with the appearance of age, and be sure to include biological flaws, redundancies, and over-complications, that appear to have been caused by blind misobservations, which of course you created, such as a urinary tract the runs directly through a prostate gland, or you know, unnecessary rupturing of one's appendix..right?
-Create a garden, with a tree in it, bearing fruit, that when eaten, will grant infinite knowledge. Alongside this, create two cognitive beings, without any knowledge of the world, or the moral standards in this Divine Plan, and tell them not to eat from the tree that would enlighten them. This being said, in such a case, they would not comprehend that eating from the tree was wrong, until they already DID eat from the tree.
-Warn the same cognitive beings from the above passage, they will undoubtedly DIE if they eat from the tree, but don't kill them if they do eat from it ^_^ - endow a reptile with some way of speaking to you, that will enable it to make a good case against one of the beings for eating from this tree.
-Now, make sure these cognitive beings have been given the proper tools for reproduction, to multiply themselves in a way, and due to the sins of eating from the tree - make sure that EVERY child birth for all eternity, will cause immense pains, and possible health risks. Alongside such, every child born thereafter, will, by default, be of sinful nature - without doing anything wrong in the first place.
-Endow the cognitive beings from the above passages with a "Soul", which gives them thoughts, feelings, etc. etc., then allow the sinfulness of these beings to incompatible with your presence, so HELL can be the only place they can go after death, and do not stop this from happening.
-Over time, allow them to grow and spread across the Earth, until after so many generations, they have disappointed you enough, to KILL all of them in a global flood, and start over from scratch, yes?
-When this happens, make it where one small family, just like before, that you, God, have deemed righteous of serving you directly, even with the knowledge, and infallible certainty, they too will betray you, just like everyone else around you, therefore being punished and sent to hell for all eternity, but pretend you don't know that, and send them on their journey of life, anyway.
-Instruct them to populate the world again, by means of incest..
-The only way to rectify the disappointment and shames brought side-by-side with sin, is unnecessary, and brutal animal sacrifices, and alongside such, anyone who sins around you must be slain immediately for betraying you.
-In the meantime, make yourself look good, by performing incredible miracles, for all to see, and oftentimes intervene with your physical creation. (Part the Red Sea, turn women into pillars of salt, stop the sun in the sky, turn water into wine, etc., etc., but before advancements in Science reach such that it is possible to record, study, playback, and gather information of these "miracles", just stop performing them altogether !!!
-Now realize your moral standards are not so obvious to the human race as you once thought they were - so now chisel your TOP TEN moral standards (leave out all the rest), into stone, and send them to the masses.
Note: These "moral standards", yeah, over 50% of them will relate to pleasing you, worshiping you, and serving you.
-After thousands of years, impregnate one of your cognitive beings, so she shall give birth to your son, which in reality, is just you taking a physical form - and you are now your own father.
-Allow this son, who is also you, to grow up, and make many, many revisions to your moral standards, then arrange for other cognitive beings to torture and kill you..? Now take this opportunity to grant everyone else, for all eternity to be washed free of sinful nature...which you allowed them to have in the first place...>.>?
-Do not, however, make the rewards of this sacrifice free, in any way! Establish that no cognitive beings will be given the privileges of this sacrifice, unless they worship you, and actively believe the sacrifice occurred, otherwise, they are to be punished. In other words - despite any values, morals, intellectuality, bravery, courage, and other personality traits, if they didn't find sufficient proof of a grand sacrifice, thus not believing, they are to be damned to hell, to burn and be tortured, for all eternity.
-With the above passage in mind - be sure to make it unclear, and unknowable that the sacrifice did indeed occur, and be sure nobody after the first century gets to even witness the presence of your son, (which is you..), and make sure nobody can establish he/you were a living god - again, all of this BEFORE scientific advancements, allowing documentation, recording, and study of these events to be made, leaving no paper trail of your existence.
-Make sure the only trace of any of these events are documented anonymously via non-eyewitnesses, who speak the language of you/your son spoke, a long 30 years after these miracles took place, however, do make sure that it includes that believing in something without evidence or research is morally superior to that which denominates investigation, study, and research.
-Be sure that after decades, and decades of these events taking place, the only evidence of this existence are copies..of copies, of copies, which have been manipulated, and do not preserve the original copies of these documentations, and do not protect them from being revised, and changed upon hundreds, and hundreds, and hundreds of means, and following years.
-Do NOT employ or omniscience in a way to decipher whether people are truly rebelling against your moral code, and those who simply don't know, and cannot decide - punish them all equally, because they didn't believe what you offered.
-Do NOT make it clear to these beings that you are even here - just make it easily debatable proposition, and easily doubtable discernment.
-Punish those who have not correctly guessed which version of god, if any at all, were correct - despite their character traits, bravery, intellect, etc., etc. - damn them to Hell regardless, if they do not make the correct choice before their time on Earth is up (which, going without saying, you cause the end, or so you say)
-When all is over, demand you be praised for this divine plan.


So tell me, Christians, how morally accurate, and amazing does your god seem?

 

Well written. People who hold on to their faith after reading things like this are total idiots.

 

Wow, as Athiest as I am I've not thought of it that thoroughly. Very well written and very well thought out.

To be honest I want to see what their counter is for this one.

 

Thanks for the feedback, guys, just awaiting a theist response, now.

 

It is well written I must say. First of let me say, I am a christian but I am open for debate. I'm not going to say "your wrong go to Jesus man." Here is how I would answer to those statements. Also remember I am not speaking for all Christians, Christianity has many different types and most of them have important things that don't agree with each other. I am a Protestant though.

1. When God created Satan/Lucifer yes he knew he was going to make hell and confuse Adam and Eve and eventually make them sin thus getting them kicked out of the garden. The point of the whole situation was to give man a choice. If we were born and had to live our whole lives Christian and just follow God like robots there would be no point to it. He gives us the choice to believe or not.

2. I think here you start mentioning beating of your family and other sins. These people aren't Christian and they don't know God's love. (I know most of you guys wouldn't agree with that statement but if your a Christian you seriously can feel his love and he does help you out.) Any way, since they aren't Christian they have no reason to not beat their wife. If your atheist then your pretty much are your own god since you believe there aren't any other god's out there. If your god in you life then why shouldn't you do what ever you feel like?

3. About the flood. In the Bible it says that people had gone wild and weren't believing in God anymore. I remember my Bible was telling us some of the things they did before the flood and how literally no one believed in God except for Noah and his family. Although they still gave others the chance to change their ways and board the boat with Noah but they said no. So it's their own fault. By the way it has been proven the flood did happen. I can show you some links if you wish proving it or you can just look it up your self in google.

4. Sigh.. Now for the "Jesus coming to earth..." point. His dad which is him self. (Complicating I know but it;s hard to explain in a forum post sorry. :/ ) gave his only son so that he can die for us. Now I'm sure you have heard that phrase a million times but think about it this way. For a parent to give their only son it's a hard thing. I don't think any of us here have kids but you can ask your parents if you want and they will tell you it would be incredibly hard to give you up for others that despise you. Anyway, he gave his Son to us so that he can take our sins and then spend eternity with him. I'm sure you have heard the whole speech before so I wouldn't bore you with it. Basically in simpler terms the only way for us to go to heaven was for a "perfect person" to die for us. I don't really know how to explain this but that's how it has to happen because their has to be a sacrifice for the sins that we have committed.

5. The miracles, besides the Bible the is proof that some of them did happen. I.E. there were some wheels of chariots found in the Dead sea where Moses parted the water and the people went through where then the Egyptians chasing them went in and were crushed by the waters and died.

6. I didn't completely understand what you were trying to prove in the next few statements so it's hard to write something about that. :/

7. the part where you say it was written down 30 years later. I actually just had a Bible class about this exact same topic a few days ago so here is what I can say. Yes it was written 20 - 60 years later. Although some of the eye witnesses were still around and would they just sit quite while others were writing up lies? NO of course not. They would go to the people or write other things tell people that the things written were lies. Also, when these writings were made the people making them were really far apart from each other. They had no way of communicating between each other. If they were writing a lie then there would be differences in the different gospels. You can read them your self and I would like to see a contradiction because I can't find one.

8. Reading the end it made me think of something. Suppose there is no God. Lets just say we all die and then we decay and then were done. Then neither one of us lose anything. In the end we will both just decay and nothing special will happen. But lets just say there IS a God and Heaven and Hell do exist. Then we both live our lives but then when we die the difference being, is I would be in Heaven for eternity experiencing such wonderful things that we can't even imagine. You on the other hand though will be in Hell. A burning lake of fire filled with sadness and pain for eternity. If you ask me it's not something I would risk my eternity on.

Well that pretty much sums up my answer to your "questions." I know I didn't answer everything because I am tired and I want to go to bed. Also sorry but I didn't understand some of your statements so I couldn't write anything in return to them. Sorry if this starts a war. I just want you to see my point of view and how I feel about it.

 

Religions with gods and stuff like that is quite interesting. I have never believed in a god like my whole family and my view on life is in a science way. If there isnt proof that there is a god then I will never believe it but I do not disrespect others when they do.
Few weeks ago I saw the movie "the invention of lying" which is about a world where noboby can lie untill someone tells one lie, and he then makes up the whole thing about a man controlling us all. I know its just a movie but its interesting in some ways.

 

Bubba let me ask you something. I am an athiest yes, but should that automatically doom me to hell? Let's say there are too people. One is a Christian and one is an Athiest.

The Christian is a Serial Killer. Yet the Bible says as long as you ask Jesus into your heart you will go to heaven.

Then we have the Athiest. He is an honest business man, runs a family owned sandwich shop, and tries the best he can to provide for his family. He loves his children and his wife, he's never done anything terrible.

So the Serial Killer goes to Heaven and the Shop owner goes to Hell?

Where's the sense in that?

 

Believing and trusting God isn't a one time thing that your done with when your complete. If he becomes a Christian and then goes and kills people then he doesn't really believe it and isn't a Christian. Only if he truly repents what he said would he be a Christian. The other man though. If he doesn't believe in God then there isn't much I can say. Some one has to pay for the sins that he has/will commit. To be honest I don't want to get in a massive religious debate here. I normally don't ever do these things. If a lot of people start questioning it and pestering me I will just delete the post.

 

What if he only kills to justify what was written in the Bible, that of which includes killing those who have sinned against your god, or those of which you choose/chose to worship another god from your own?

It's right there in the book.

Then again, it also contradicts itself and says murder is a sin, so...how to go to heaven please.

 

From what I understand the Bible doesn't not specifically say go kill those who believe other god's. I know there were some instances where they did kill other people like in one case a lot of the Israelites died because they worshiped other god's. To be honest I don't know how to answer this now. I am to tired. Later I will find some verses to back what I wrote up. Although like I said before I don't want to start a whole debate. If a ton of people starting questioning what I wrote then I'm out. I really am not the best person to be doing these things. I just figured not many Christians are on Sythe so I should take a stand for what I believe in.

 

Good point.

 

Just a few examples of unjust murder in relation to refusal to worship, unknowable justifications, and just right out idiotic means.

However, I do commend you for standing up for your beliefs, now, please, read these quotes from your Holy Book that so "righteously" justify murder, simply because someone is different.

Jeremiah 6:13–14

Bishop John Shelby Spong 1

Bishop John Shelby Spong. 3

(Deuteronomy 17:12)

(Leviticus 20:13)

(Exodus 21:15)

2 Chronicles 15:12-13)

(Deuteronomy 13:13-19)

(Deuteronomy 13:7-12)

(Romans 1:24-32)

(Isaiah 14:21)

(Isaiah 13:15-18)

 

^ Yet God is compassionate, loving, and wants the best for us.

 

By Moses, you mean Noah, right?

 

Indeed! Don't let that foolishness of capital punishment trick ya ;D

 

Since I am a Christian, and enjoy taking part in discussions such as this one, I'll argue with you. Later, anyway. I'll edit this post in about an hour.

EDIT:

In regards to the family violence, He is not suggesting you beat you children. It was metaphorical. He means, it's better for your child to learn that sin is wrong now than later, when you go to Hell. So, he doesn't mean to beat your children. Just like in Matthew 5:30: "And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into Hell." Of course God is not advising you to cut your hand off because it causes you to sin. It's metaphorical.

See this link for God's stance on slavery.

God does not think women are inferior at all. He was talking about the church in Timothy 2.

As for killing people worshiping anything other than God, that is not true. Remember, this is the Old Testament. Most rules and laws were overruled by Jesus in the New Testament.

 

As you obviously haven't researched much of what you speak, there is little point in trying to reason. I'd like to point out however the idiocy of claiming that, if God does exist, that he is "wrong" in anything. Similarly, if you created life, it rebelled against you, started worshiping other things, would you be "immoral" for destroying it? As well, let us not forget that if one argues against morality, one must state where that morality came from. If God created morality, one can hardly argue that God is immoral. In essence, if God were neither all knowing, all wise, all just, etc, he wouldn't (and couldn't) be God.

And photo, a few of those quotes from Is. were talking about what would happen TO God's people, not what they were doing TO others. Major difference.

 

bubba: I didn't read your whole post, but:

That's a fairly ignorant comment. You don't have to be threatened with an eternity of pain to have morals and values and follow them.

 

When 'god' is involved, logic is invalid.

If that was his whole plan, then why do Christians make him out to be a loving, caring, peace wanting father?

 

Haven't researched?

It's all quotes from YOUR bible, dumb ass.