My rap--- Please comment ---:)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Sex Toy, Aug 28, 2010.

My rap--- Please comment ---:)
  1. Unread #1 - Aug 28, 2010 at 9:57 PM
  2. Sex Toy
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    My rap--- Please comment ---:)

    The people im singing too mean the most to me
    im doing this for you mom dad mike and daisy,
    people want to hate let em hate im motivated by there jealousy,
    i need can't keep private now i need to be with publicity,
    no more staying in the dark, waiting for a miracle to happen,
    time to wake up, bring the stakes up, and just start rappen
    problem these days everyone thinks there so hot,
    we got some fagots like youngmoney and jb that think
    they made there song drop, rap will never be the same,
    its a fact we have to handle, i might never make it big
    thats a fact i might have to battle,
    its like im rowing this boat with out a paddle.
    but we gotta face the facts,
    we need a miracle, like god giving us back big and pac
    it would help if we got back proof and soulja slim,
    for now im okay with em,





    Not finished but comment on this lol thanks :)
     
  3. Unread #2 - Aug 28, 2010 at 10:06 PM
  4. goku usa
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    My rap--- Please comment ---:)

    Few grammatical errors but other than that looks awesome :)
     
  5. Unread #3 - Aug 28, 2010 at 10:07 PM
  6. Kleenex
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    My rap--- Please comment ---:)

    I think this goes in the Music subsection of Off-Topic.
     
  7. Unread #4 - Aug 28, 2010 at 10:08 PM
  8. 333
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    My rap--- Please comment ---:)

    Use the Music section bro. It sounds decent, but it needs more then an ABAB flow.
     
  9. Unread #5 - Aug 28, 2010 at 10:10 PM
  10. Sex Toy
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    My rap--- Please comment ---:)

    iight if someone can move it:p

    and yh i didint rly pay attention to the grammer so there might be some
     
  11. Unread #6 - Aug 29, 2010 at 10:19 AM
  12. Sex Toy
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    My rap--- Please comment ---:)

    bumps :)?
     
  13. Unread #7 - Aug 29, 2010 at 10:23 AM
  14. Biggums, Tyrone
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    My rap--- Please comment ---:)

    Why would you bump, lol.

    Anyways good job but yeah could use some grammatical work.
     
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