Darkness in Your Eyes

Deacon Frost · Aug 17, 2010

I started reading House of Leaves last night, and after the index I was inspired to write a short snippet to get my thoughts out. I typed it all out on a touch screen phone because I had no paper, so pardon any mistakes from transferring .

There's a darkness in your eyes. I can't stop searching for it. They want to tell me a story, they want to make me see what they've seen. They entrap me in a look of torment, agony of something I have no knowledge of. Crying out in watery tears they beacon me closer, nearer my iris grave. The darkness, deep within the black, deeper than can be seen, but close enough to have been witnessed. I take a final breath, their cry pulls me in, your pain draws me deeper. Deeper into the darkness. A flicker of light as from a projection wheel, sounds fill my head, laughter, fear.

My eyes burn with these images, horror on my face, I feel like I'm there, the smell of a pipe, the whisper of stolen passion. Hatred boils, I can taste it in my mouth. The darkness, I can sense it so close, yet unseeable, like a constant over the shoulder onlooker. Terrible images roll past, screaming, yelling, distaste, all of it unsightly. Your eyes, captivating, telling me a story of woe, of anger, and now of revenge. The silent foot steps down the hall, the shallow, repressed breaths. The door creaking open. Screaming, and crying, and relief as you try to take back what was stolen.

Anger tearing deeper. Your eyes, so black that no emotion reflects from them. I step back, breaking free from the loud silent film. So much told in a short matter of time without even speaking. I can't breath, I can't blink. Images flashing in my head; red life dripping from vengeful thieves down a shadowed corridor, screaming in the background of a panicked mother. I understand now, that's when the darkness, so captivating, entered your eyes. That's when you became dead inside. You murderer.
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Opinions?

Varjot · Aug 17, 2010

Your use imagery is beautiful, it's very captivating. You where inspired to write this just from reading the index?! I think I've found my next book to read. I love how, the person was first intrigued by this murderer's need for revenge, only to see the true person behind the anguish. (Correct me if I'm wrong, that's what I picked up). 10/10

Deacon Frost · Aug 19, 2010

Varjot said: ↑

Your use imagery is beautiful, it's very captivating. You where inspired to write this just from reading the index?! I think I've found my next book to read. I love how, the person was first intrigued by this murderer's need for revenge, only to see the true person behind the anguish. (Correct me if I'm wrong, that's what I picked up). 10/10
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Yeah, it was quite enthralling. I loved it. So far, the rest of the book hasn't captured my interest, but I'm determined to read it all.

Thanks for the opinion, and yes, you're correct. I envisioned a person who was captivated by the hidden truths in the other person (the murderer), but then the narrator figures out the truth. I was gonna make it longer, but I ran out of type space, and lost my motivation after I finished it.

TheHacker · Aug 23, 2010

Your imagery is pro

Mechanical Scythe · Aug 23, 2010

The imagery sings a deep melody to my heart.

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Darkness in Your Eyes

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Deacon Frost Grand Master

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Deacon Frost Grand Master

TheHacker Guru

Mechanical Scythe Forum Addict