Am i normal?

Yeah this is in all seriousness.

Whenever somebody comes up behind me, i turn around quick and my face looks like i'm going to kill them. I'm not scared it's just the way i am. People get scared and stay real low.

I'm not a tough looking person, nor do i look intimidating.

But whenever someone tries something i watch my back it's kinda hard to explain.

Like, one time i use to be really bored and sleep at the park with my friends during a picnic. All of a sudden, someone comes up to me i'm like instantly awake and react and keep my guard up.

It's like i feel like somebodies going to try to kill me or something.

Also i LOVE fighting, but i don't pick fights with anybody, but when somebody people see me in fights they know not to mess.

What i'm saying is, i'm not really interested in joining the military and such, why do i think about survival and fighting and try to keep myself alive? I also have alot of nightmares and they really stress me out.


The thing is, am i trying to hide my fear? I don't really know what i'm afraid of.

I'm also a very depressing person, my parents split, and it's a pretty hard thing for me enspecially when i'm only in a family of 3 and have no relatives in my country.

I tried a psychiatrist but they didn't really help and suggest i should take a certain drug but it doesn't seem to work, they've given me a drug that seems to cure depression but doesn't seem to work.

How can i be more laid back, and more calm?

Sorry if this is confusing but it's really hard for me to explain this.

 

Just relax man get councelling if you need to Im sure there not going to hurt you.

 

I want to go into psychology so I think I can help you out, I am going to use what you have told me/what you tell me in future posts to help you.

From what I read so far, the thing that impacted you the most is the splitting of your parents, and since you have no relatives in the country, you have basically 2 other people in this world that you truly "love". If I am correct, then what I suggest you do is build a strong relationship with someone. I need to know more about you, though. Do you have a group of friends that you hang out with often? Do you have a girlfriend/someone you like/someone that likes you? I can help you out further if you just answer my questions.

 

He said he tried that, and it didn't help his issue.

I would say you are just afraid of getting hurt again. By again, I mean when your parents got in a divorce, you were probably very upset and didn't like the feeling of it, at all.

Perhaps if you try forgetting about the past, and just try to live your life one day at a time, always looking forward, it would change your perspective on things. Being in a happier state could possibly solve the issue of thinking someone is always out to kill you. Another option could be to work out, it's a great stress-releasing option, and can clear your mind of all the anger or sadness built up. Plus, you'll get a ripped body. ;]

 

I can relate to a certain degree. I tend to quickly get defensive over nothing really, moreso verbally than physically though. Mostly because when I was younger I was often picked on verbally, and really I get defensive when anyone even slightly questions me. Were you ever physically abused at any point in your life? That could be it.

 

I would like it if you reflected on the points I quoted from your posts.
I see that your living in fear, but nobody knows what's coming next and that's the mindset you should adapt. As for being laid back reflect on more positive things than negative the more you keep your mind positive the less chance you going to have fear inside you, everything is done for a purpose maybe is was previous trauma that made you feel afraid.

Just be more positive inside you will feel more comfortable inside, don't curse yourself also don't glorify violence.

 

Probably some psychological problem that is making you very paranoid. Did you mention your paranoia to your psychiatrist? Because they should be able to give you something for that. I take anti depressants too but that's just for depression, I don't know if it can help paranoia.

 

Well, the thing is i think this counts as depressed but i feel hopeless, and thought the world was a nice place but found out it's acutally a cruel place that will never change, and changed how i live now, ever since i realized that.

It feels like i have no hope at all, yes i'm kinda affected by my parents divorce but it made me more aware and got the feeling of how the real world is.

The problem is that i can't seem to find any happiness.

I stopped feeling affection for love anymore, don't feel emotion now, i rarely feel anger, hate, love. I seem to have fear though.

I rarely trust anyone, i just try to keep my hopes up by pretending to be another person. Like if you talk to me on msn i start up a convo and it may seem like i'm a o.k person but really i'm not that isn't really me. It feels like i'm lost.

No i was never phsyically abused, only little beatings from my mom but everyone gets that i wasen't spoilt and no it didn't affect me.

I also tried working out but i don't seem to do that much as i read alot of news and what's going on the world and alot of conspires and research alot on the internet.

 

You sir are messed up in the head.




Nah, All kidding aside. Everyone has had or has been in a manic depressive state. Where nothing seems to get better and you don't seem to elevate no matter how many times you reach to the top. I too have been in your shoes. My release is music/hip-hop. Putting what I feel into words helps alot.

 

Tried that it still doesn't seem to help.

 

Damn, bro. I am seriously sorry to hear that. You'll eventually find an outlet. My prayers go out to you.

 

Thanks, hopefully i can find something to cure myself i guess.

 

You ARE normal. You just have stronger protective instincts than other person.

Tbh, psychologues dosen't do a fuking crap, they just tell you shit to get you

feel confortable. Just try to control yourself and evreything'll be ok

 

But i seem very different compared to other people meaning, like i barely got emotions i barely give a shit.

 

From what I read, you seem completely normal... You may have a very strong cynicism about the world and believe everyone is in for themselves and don't care. You do have a good grasp on a lot of people and it is human nature for people to care mostly about themselves. I think that makes you feel somewhat hopeless in that you realize how crappy the world can appeal when you see the things around you going wrong in the world and around you.

As for liking to fight and being good at it, I think it doesn't really link. I enjoy fighting, boxing, mma, and kickboxing. I believe that is more of a male ego thing, pitting yourself against another guy. Seeing who is the best when it all comes down.

Last waking up or turning around quick when people surprise or creep on on you is a good habit, you are very aware of your surroundings, and as long as you are comfortable enough to live your life with-out it affecting you it is okay.

The only problem you have I think is your head. Not saying there is anything wrong with you, I think you read to much media and current events going on in the world. What I would recommend is to not read the newspaper, or get on the web for a while, and to try to filter out the bad propaganda that is plastered everywhere on the web, newspaper and on the television. Put the crappy world out of your mind for while it may help combat your cynism of the world helping you feel a little more at ease. next time you want to read something, watch a comedy or a romance movie... And I serious mean watch a romance movie. It may help give you something to aspire to instead of reading about the War, Starving children, gang violence, etc.

Your still young, most teens feel as if they don't fit in or they are abnormal. What you are feeling is completely normal. You may have more dreams, if you lighten your day consciously, it may reflect in your unconscious and show through your nightmares or loss of nightmares. That why I would recommend watching some romances and comedies.

 

Maybe you should take fighting lessons of sorts to get it out of your system. Unless you're already doing that.

Could be a simple solution.

 

You're a natural fighter, your instincts in moments where you're "at risk" you respond with your guard, even if the person isn't threatening you.

I remember watching celebrity big brother and the tree task was to scream in the middle of the night, and the cage fighter Alex Reid steps up and approaches with his guard up 'natural fighter' some people are just like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48jRpBl2OBQ&NR=1

Very bad quality, all i can find you see after he screams Alex is straight up with his guard up, it's just natural instincts for some people.

 

I don't read newspapers much, i tend to avoid them

What information i found it is rarely false i always make sure they make sense to me and isn't bullshit.

I know some military CQC, and have no problems taking down mostly anybody with any fighting style, it's mixed with my own variety. I'm not trying to be cocky i'm just pointing it out from my experience in fighting