Work or Family?

Recently my mum has gotten sick, she had breast cancer a few years ago and has been re-diagnosed; and refusing to go through Chemotherapy. I'm only young, and with a whole working life ahead of me and the opportunities I have where I am working (Earning 150k a year fully qualified - at the age of 22) I'm under a huge cloud of confusion.

I know family comes first, and I'm having to toss up whether I call it quits on the job and go home to be with my mum, or just try and get home as much as I can to try and keep my job because of the massive advantages to this job.

Just need some help deciding what to do, family comes first and I know that, but this is my future I have to decide; for the next AT LEAST 20 years.

What do I do?

 

Why doesn't she want to have chemotherapy?

Also, would it be possible for you to work, and then return home at regular intervals? Say every month or so.

Also, would other members of your family stay with your mum, or would she be on her own without you?

 

I'll put this as bluntly as I can. It doesn't mean that I don't care about your situation or anything, but I'm trying to help you.

I'd go for the job. If your mother is refusing to take chemo, then chances are high that she'll die. This job is a great offer. Possibly a once in a lifetime deal. You're better off jumping at the chance than living a life filled with regrets because you didn't take the job.

Look at it this way. Your mother is going to die eventually. Her death is inevitable. You might as well take the job because there's nothing more you can do for your mother. She is refusing to help herself.

 

That's probably a bit premature necro, we don't know why she doesn't want chemo.

 

Although Necro, having a living mother is also a once in a lifetime opportunity as well....
pk, have you tried discussing the matter with your mother herself?

 

So you suggest staying by her side till she dies? =/ I really don't suggest it, but if you feel so strongly for your mother pk, then do it

 

I didn't know they also do apprenticeships down there!,

Best bet would be you get 25 days holiday go visit her again, give her sometime to think things through. Are you the only sibling cause it shouldn't be your own responsibility.

Once you earn a few buck, bring your mum to you!

 

She's not going through Chemo because, if you know anyone who has, it really knocks you around. She wants to go out peacefully, without chemo. It really messed her around and she said then she would never get it again.

The thing is, my parents are split, my brother is playing sport 5-6 times a week and she just can't handle it herself. That's why I'm in a problematic situation, she really needs my help and I have talked to her about it but it's a job I would potentially have for the rest of my life.

@Necro, I know she will die eventually, but the doctors have said she doesn't have much left and I think spending the last couple of years with her would be the most important thing I could do.

 

Tell your brother to man up and take responsibility. Your job is a lot more important than his recreational sports (unless he's getting payed?) He should be quitting and taking care of your mother instead of you having to quit your job..

 

Madre comes first, you can never replace her. Work, you can find anywhere, the money is great but you'll never find true happiness if you just abandon her like this, to let her suffer alone letting her know her sons don't really care about her. This is a matter that shouldn't even make you hesitate if you really love her. Goooo your maamaa needs you, let her final years be in happiness and peace, not in panic and suffering.

 

I would, as blunt as this might seem, keep the job. Visit her as much as you can, but I think the effects of her death will be less painful if you aren't around her 24/7. Keep your head up, I feel sorry for you, man. Good luck with your future.

 

He's 14 lol.


Thanks everyone.

 

You're not the only one that should be concerned... My suggestion is to stay with the job, and see her whenever you can. Get your other family members involved, you honestly can't be the only one taking care of her..

 

I don't know what goes in your life necro, but I can't believe what you've just said, you're telling pk that he'll regret not chasing up a job opportunity if he cares for his dying mother? Bullshit! If I took up a job opportunity and my Mum died and I wasn't there for her, i'd waste myself, i'd feel so guilty...

pk, would this job opportunity not be available in a few years?

 

Thing is I'm in an apprenticeship, which lasts 4 years. I'm going to speak to my bosses this week and talk to them about a possible deferring.

My parents are split, my brothers 14, and none of her family can really look after her as they aren't in the same country. I'm 18, and really the only person that can look after her :\

 

I know that if I was in your situation, as much i'd want to take the job, i'd have to look after Mum.

Depends alot on the relationship you have with her as well.

 

I've lived with her my whole life, even when my parents split I've been with Mum, and she's been there for me this whole time so I think I owe it to her. I can get a job back home, I hope, but it just won't be the opportunity that I have at the moment.

 

Ask about deferring, and do you know whether you would be able to leave at regular intervals to see your mum?

Also, is she denying all medical treatment, or only chemo?

 

Stick with the job, thats an amazing opportunity and your mom isn't going to pay the bills. Visit her as much as you can but keep the job.

 

family is important but ig you don't stay with th job you are going to regret it, is there anyway your mum can relocate to where the job is? if not just go and see her whenever you can