My problems

As i'm typeing this my moms boyfriend is throwing something against a wall screaming at his full force "I don't even have a phone!" I thought I may have heard a slap, could've mistaken it though. I don't think she could pick a good man if I shoved one in her damn face. This one is a fine choice, oh but of course he has to have a flaw. He's on the juice (steroids) sure, I didn't care at first, roidragelol. Yeah well, I'm figureing out roid rage is real, and I bet my mom is at this very momment. She's never had any luck, she's an alchoholic, I don't love her, no. I hate my mom, and I don't just say it when she won't let me have my way, I just hate her.

Sometimes I'm curious if she even feels a relationship torwards me anymore, I don't think we talk at all much anymore. She tries often when she drinks. Sometimes I feel this feeling that wants her to get beat, wants her to die from drinking. I sometimes think about taking her life, or my own. It's a constant struggle to cope with someone like her. As for the guy, it's not even this one in particular that makes me life hell, it's all of them! She divorced my step-father when I was 10, and then she took up drinking, and fucking, sometimes dateing every man she met at the bars.

I decided after she had a horrible relationship with her ex-boyfriend, and I gave the man hell, I'd give this man a go. So far I've been realistic, I've accepted him into my home, let him move in, I work out with him, talk, have a good time. He repays me in this manner, he makes me sick, and I intend to tell him. Though mind you in a public place, so I don't mysteriously disapear, and never heard from again. I think about it constantly, my mother has put me in a situation where my life, my sister, and little brother's life are in danger. I could be killed by this man for her shitty picks with men. I understand it's not my choice who she dates, and I try to ignore the fact she exists.
I've even came to the point where I tried talking to her. It's impossible to argue with her, or talk to her, and reason. If I said "Your boyfriends on juice, and is scareing the living sh*t out of me." She'd reply with some crap like "Why don't you talk to Dave about it", and totally ignore the fact I'm trying to talk to her without getting my face bashed in by a guy that looks like freaking Arnold.

I don't really have a question to this, just stateing my current problem, is it my mom, the men she dates, the alcohol. I can't sleep at night anymore, because I don't want to be killed in my sleep I'm so damn paranoid.

 

Hey madhacker, long time no talk.

Seriously, it sounds like you & your sister & your little brother need to either sit down and have a long talk with your mother, or need to get out of that house altogether. Your safety and your siblings safety should be your first priority, and from reading your post, I know you're aware of that.

Is there anywhere you can go? Do you have any relatives that live near you? Any family friends?

 

This will probably sound really, really, pathetic. The only reason I stay here is for my pets, no beastiality involved, but I've had them for 10 years, they've been there for me, it's like a family bond I have with my pets, they've been there though all the times my mom wasn't, it's very compicated to explain.

I'm considering talking to my brothers dad, and having him AT LEAST take my brother for the summer. My sister is long overdue to move out (she's 19)
I don't have anywhere to go, but like you mentioned, I'm really focused more on my brother, and the pets.

 

get your brother out of the house, and call social services

 

I understand. Worst case scenario, you could take your pets with you right?

You shouldn't have to lose sleep just because you live in a hostile environment, that's ridiculous. Talk to your brother's father? Maybe you can stay there for the summer as well?

I thought you said you have a decent relationship with your mother's boyfriend right now, are you just afraid he'll just fly off the handle that badly?

 

As far as he knows, I'm not going to be an ass to a man who's on steroids. Like they may not be so bad when you're not expirencing living with a person on them, but he's a freaking animal from what I can hear now. I'll tell him at the gym tommarow if he does it again, I'll call the cops, I don't have anything against him other then the fact he's put my family at risk with his bliss rage.

I had a great relationship with his dad, but you need to remember they divorced a long time ago, and our relationship is next to nothing now. We may talk every now and then when he comes to pick Tony up, but that's it.

As for the other guy's comment to call SS. How would I do that exactly? If my mom isn't willing to cooperate and say "he slap/hit me." I'm not even 100% sure that was a slap I heard. They can't take him away for throwing shit everywhere either. Most steroids aren't even enforced too bad, that'd only be a fine, or maybe probation?

 

No SS yet, please. If you did happen to call them and all they did was enforce a fine, that would really piss him off. Talking to him about it at the gym tomorrow seems like a solid plan. Are they just yelling back and forth right now?

 

Now it stopped, they're either sleeping, or one of them is finally dead. Yeah, thats why I haven't really tried any of that SS/cops shit yet. If it backfires I'd be screwed. But I don't want to sit around, and risk the chance he blacks out on a rage trip, and possibly injure/kill someone. I didn't exactly have a visual, I was listening to some Zeppelin on my headphones, I can't even hear my phone which is 2 feet away, but I heard yelling. All I heard is loud ass screaming, none of it was my mom, I thought I heard a slap, but it could've been me taking the headphones off. I wasn't really listening to the words, my heart was going crazy and I grabbed a knife and just kinda stood outside of their door. I told my brother to stay in his room, told my sister. She went in there after it kinda calmed down.

She asked my mom if everything was okay, my mom said yes (I asked if there were any marks, but it was too dark to see) and they all went back to their rooms, and I got back onto the computer to start writing this. Then I heard a loud ass thump, and I only assumed the worse, and went to easzedrop again. I then heard a lot of throwing of objects, and words like "OKAY NOW ITS FUCKING GONE". Again, sister went in afterwards, she said it was okay. They started argueing again, and since it's calmed down, he just 3 minutes ago came out and got some coke, and just went back in, but he sleep eats, or some shit like that. So I think they're sleeping now.

edit: they're at it again..idk man

 

I'll PM you my new MSN if you want to talk to help keep your mind away from it.

 

bllllll

 

I do not know either of my parents much because they dropped me off on my own when I was 9, different story, never to be told to every though.

Anyways... If your mother always picks these men, call the cops and have her arrested. If you are old enough to move out then take you, your brother & sister and do so. If you are to young to move out then take your chances and move in with a grandparent of aunt, preferably one who does not have the same problem.

If you feel the need to run away with your siblings and try to hitch it on your lonesomes. Do not commit suicide or kill anyone though, That has came in my mind a could times and I have came to close on several occasions. I have hospitalized myself and others to much, and I regret it everyday.

Please listen to what I have said and take it to heart. I hope this helps somewhat.

 

You have some very serious problems in your life and you need help. I am going to add you on MSN, we have some very similar problems and I think I may be able to help you.

 

I stopped reading here, your a sick minded kid nobody should ever think this upon their own mother... Just leave the god dam house if you don't like it.

 

You don't understand what it's like to have a bitch of a mother.

My mother herself is incredibly bipolar with psychotic subfeatures. Also, bipolar to the point were it's nearly two different personalities.

It's not whether or not you have the urge to kill her, everyone has the urge to want to go beserk on someone every once in a while.



Madhacker, I'm sorry to hear bro. I'd confront the man with ready to defend yourself honestly. Or maybe have the cops in hand because if he's having a roid fit then he needs help.

 

You're extremely ignorant of situations such as these. I don't care who someone is, if they give someone this kind of treatment, they deserve to be punished and the abused helped.

 

He can choose to think what he wants about his own mother, she is the problem here and he is trying to sort it out. I hate my mother for many reasons just like him and it's not as simple as just leave the house if he doesn't like it, he clearly doesn't like it and has stated that he has other siblings and pets that he cares about.

OP: I think you should call someone with some authority to get your mother and her boyfriends sorted out because it isn't healthy at all. Hope you sort it out and sorry I can't be of much help as I'm lost for words at this moment.