Worst Lie?

Worst lie you've said?

 

Teacher: Drake, where is your homework?

Me: I was walking to school and this dude with a scary face came up to me and threatened to chop off my balls if I didn't give him my math homework so I had no choice Mrs. Gooden, hope you can understand.

 

Me: (To teacher)
The reason we were late, is because we were in the P.E shed and these aliens flew through the roof and started attacking us with huge guns and shit. So we had to fight them back with baseball bats.

 

me; to my friend

the reason i was late to ur b-day was cause we had to wait for the ducks to cross the road and my dad didn't wanna squish em :L

 

^Uh, lol.

 

me:
To ex:

I love you.
LMFAO

 

Lmao^ Made my day.

Worst lie
Me:I found out my dad's Gay, sorry i cant make it to your B-Day.

 

=] thought it would make someone laugh. lmao

 

Dad: So we read your text messages on the internet and it looks like your girlfriend has been giving you "BJ's" is this true?

Me: You see the term "BJ" is an inside joke between me and my girlfriend, you wouldn't understand.

 

I was at Wendy's eating lunch with my buds
this girl who happens to be my friend comes up to us with some of her friends who we've never met before
one of the random girls who was like 6 ft 2 gives me her number and asks when our date is

Me: Sorry I'm gay

much less embarrassing than dating a 6 ft 2 girl when your only like 5 ft 6 -_-

 

LMFAO!!
Just say "I already got a girl"

 

I think you must actually be gay. Do you have any idea what you can do with a girl that much taller than you?

 

There is hardly much to be discussed in this but anyways:

Teacher: Why haven't you handed in your homework?
Me: I had family issues last night (lulwhut?)
Teacher: I gave it out 3 weeks ago
Me: I've had family issues for every night since you gave set the task

 

Teacher: Paul, why on earth didn't you come to math class this morning?
Me: Uhh well you see... I was walking to math class this morning when this dog chased me. So I had to run and climb a tree. Otherwise, I would've been badly bitten.
Teacher: Fine. Where's your homework?
Me: Oh that's another thing... When I was up the tree, I wanted to chase the dog away, but I was scared of coming down. So I took your math homework and threw it at the dog.

*BOOM* Detention =/