Relationship problems.

So I've recently met this girl. She's the sister of my best friend. She's great and all and I don't just want to stay her friend.

Could you guys offer me some advice on how to take it to the next level? Please don't offer the old cliche advice. I've been there and read it all.

Thanks for listening and trying to help.

 

Honestly, I'd speak to your best friend first. Say to him that you like his sister, and if she likes you, say that too. You need to make him understand that there is a spark between you both, and he will just have to accept it. Then - if you're a confident person, tell it too her straight, if not then take it slow.

 

My best friend surely has no problem with me going out with his sister. I'm not even sure if she likes me in that way. When I see her around campus, she smiles like I'm her favourite person and all though.

I do have a problem with confidence, but I guess I'll work on that. Thank you Kadaj. Means a lot to me that you're trying to help

 

Honestly, I struggle to speak to girls too. I normally say the odd 'Hey' or 'Hi' when I see them and it takes up unbelievably quick - I guarantee you.

Do you see her when you go round your friends house? If you do, do you speak?

 

Alright, coming from a guy who's dated a great friends sister, I hope my advice helps. First I'll start off saying, it won't effect the relationship with you, and your friend, unless you do something that causes a dramatic impact, which makes him feel he has to protect her from you. Confidence is something I've always had an issue with, along with being highly shy. I broke that chain when I enterd highschool, and now I'm very outgoing! You need a solid ego, and the mindset to have a higher confidence level. You need to just DO IT. You need to bring it up in a conversation, not exactly right torwards the beginning, but bring it up during a 'deep' conversation. Share stories of your life, some funny ones, and try and let her talk more about her funny life stories. Then, you need to slide it into the conversation, if she's in a good mood, and feels safe with you, you'll recieve an honest answer.
Goodluck my friend!

 

Well since they're from out of town (They're from Nottingham, England), they both live in the school hostel. And boys are not allowed in girls' dorm and vice versa. So I don't see her much. When we do see each other, we don't speak much cause she's always with her group of friends and I'm with mine...

Thanks madhacker, but I'm not a confident guy I'm afraid. Got any tips on how to talk to a girl?

 

Dayum, that is close to me. Anyway - I don't know what else to suggest, apart from speaking to her.

 

Could you suggest topics on what to talk about? I don't really know what to talk to girls about. Also, how do I overcome the confidence problem?

I'm not bad around other girls. Just this one in particular.

 

Well; talk to her, just don't become 'best friends' because if you fall out of the relationship, she will say '' i don't want to ruin our friendship''.
Then just ask her to her face, once you've done it once, you'll get used to it, if she says no, keep trying, talk to her a lot, hang around with her so she knows you really love her, then go in and ask her again.
Hope i helped a bit.
Oh, i forgot to say, you should talk about, first say; you ok?, she responds if it's a yes say, good and ask her how she's been today, then just keep talking about stuff such as; upto much this weekend?, etc.

 

I had this exact problem several years ago. I was a very shy person, especially when I was younger, and I'd never like/want to step out of my 'comfort-zone'. If I knew I needed or wanted to, I would get very nervous. One day, I met a girl. I'd seen her a couple of times before, but very briefly. To start off with, I was bricking it, literally. To be honest, I bet she thought I was a right nut-case. After a few minutes or 'random' conversation, the ice broke. I started to feel more confident then ever. We started chatting about more "normal" things, you know, stuff kids our age should talk about. We then started laughing and passing the odd joke. Next thing I knew, we were sat next to each other at he Cinema.

My advice for you, Necromancer, is to gradually get to know. It could take a while, it might not. This, from my experiences, will help boost your confidence when you're about to chat to her. I mean, if you know more about her, you'd know what she likes/dislikes and then you'd be able to talk on a more 'parallel' level. I suggest taking things one step at a time, and also, if your friend is a supportive one; I'd talk to him. Tell him how you feel about his sister, ask if he thinks she feels the same way.

I hope I helped, Bud.

 

I'd keep that in mind. I'll talk to my friend.

But the thing is, we hang out with completely different people. I don't think her friends like me very much cause I'm different. I'm an Indian who knows how to speak mandarin, going to a chinese school.

Also, I don't know exactly how long I've got. I hear from some people that she's leaving next year. Even if she doesn't leave, I'm in grade 10. She's in 8. I've only got 1 more year in school.

Try, I can't make head nor tail of what you said.

 

But, everyone's different. So, have a misunderstood something completely, or are you saying that you don't think she likes you because you're different?

 

No I think her friends don't like me. =/

 

Ok, well this is why i made my thread...

ANYWAYS!
I agree with most of the above people. And I have some tips to help you to talk to girls. Try and find thinfs in common. Music is really good. If you both like the same band or something, you'll be suprised how much easier the conversation will be! Another tip is that if you don't know much about her [not creeperish] you could ask her brother and maybe research those things a bit to understand her as a person better. As for being away a lot, If you can, you could try to take her out with a bunch of friends! That way it doesn't seem like a date, she can bring some of her friends, you bring some of yours. That way if you start feeling uncomfortable, you can just hop back into your group of friends for a bit.

Hope i helped

 

That would be perfect, except for the fact that my parents are old fashioned and demand that I spend my weekends with them.

And since she lives in a hostel, she can only go out on weekends. Fuck.

 

ack. Well maybe you could figure something out. i gtg see my gf at school... gl :]

 

p.s. maybe tell your parents the situation your in.

 

I wondered when someone would ask this lol.

My parents don't approve of dating if I'm still a teen. Yeah apparently people didn't do that back in the sixties.

 

Wow... That's kinda gay. Well idk what to tell you then.

 

To be honest without sounding big headed, Im GREAT with confidence, and if I do say myself, Im rather attractive and this is a good aspect of my life, being able to win over females.

From what I can tell, she's definately interested, start it simple though, like try talk to her 'more' build your spark into a little fire, joke with her, have a laugh and im pretty sure your confidence will build with her.

I could give you more good advice if I know more of how far you've gone talking to her, e.g have you got her number yet etc.

P.S DO NOT TELL HER YOU PLAY RUNESCAPE! :love: