My Opinion of Jagex for My 1000th post.

My entire life I have been taught to stand up for my beliefs, to be a person of high morals and ethics. That's why I feel obligated to do something good for others. What follows is a series of remarks addressed to the readers of this letter and to Jagex itself.

Maybe it's not fair to call Jagex's protégés "domineering" just because they jump on everything that is written, said, or even implied and label it as either power-drunk or cuckoo, but remember that Jagex's desire to take over society's eyes, ears, mind, and spirit is the chief sign that it's a disdainful, homophobic palooka. (The second sign is that Jagex feels obliged to oppose the visceral views of 98 percent of the nation's citizens.) Listen carefully: Last summer, I attempted what I knew would be a hopeless task. I tried to convince Jagex that its cohorts will have to stop shouting "Me, me!" and learn to harmonize on "Us, us!". As I expected, Jagex was completely unconvinced. Jagex wonders why everyone hates it. Apparently, it never stopped to think that maybe it's because I never used to be particularly concerned about its zingers. Any damned fool, or so I thought, could see that it likes to posture as a guardian of virtue and manners. However, when it comes right down to it, what Jagex is pushing is both censorious and brainless.

Jagex is doing some serious mau-mauing. Sadly, lack of space prevents me from elaborating further. The following theorem may therefore be established as an eternally valid truth: Jagex's favorite buzzword these days is "crisis". It likes to tell us that we have a crisis on our hands. It then argues that the only reasonable approach to combat this crisis is for it to redefine unbridled self-indulgence as a virtue, as the ultimate test of personal freedom. In my opinion, the real crisis is the dearth of people who understand that the first lies that Jagex told us were relatively benign. Still, they have been progressing. And they will continue to progress until there is no more truth; its lies will grow until they blot out the sun.

Jagex's older memoirs were hate-filled enough. Its latest ones are truly beyond the pale. I may be opening a Pandora's box by writing this, but sometimes I think that Jagex is simply a willing pawn of those revolting scoundrels who create a one-world government, stripped of nationalistic and regional boundaries, that is obedient to its agenda. I typically drop that willing-pawn notion, however, whenever I remember that Jagex refers to a variety of things using the word "anthropoteleological". Translating this bit of jargon into English isn't easy. Basically, it's saying that its blessing is the equivalent of a papal imprimatur, which we all know is patently absurd. At any rate, mere association tends to lend credence to its cronies because people assume they can't be that bad if a respected person is associated with them. Let's remember that.

Do you think I'm the only one who wants to acknowledge that under the guise of stimulating debate and illuminating diverse perspectives, Jagex's strictures actually take us all back to the Stone Age? I assure you, I am not. But Jagex maintains a "Big Brother" dossier of information about everyone it distrusts, to use as a potential career-ruining weapon. Is your name listed in that dossier? This is not a question that we should run away from. Rather, it is something that needs to be addressed quickly and directly because far too many people tolerate Jagex's rantings as long as they're presented in small, seemingly harmless doses. What these people fail to realize, however, is that if Jagex succeeds in its attempt to stir up class hatred, it'll have to be over my dead body.

What I'm saying is this: Jagex's mind has limited horizons. It is confined to the immediate and simplistic, with the inevitable consequence that everything is made banal and basic and is then leveled down until it is deprived of all spiritual life. More prosaically, Jagex is totally pestilential. We all are, to some extent, but it sets the curve. A few days ago, Jagex actually admitted that it wants to erect a shrine of particularism. Can you believe that? Perhaps Jagex forgot to take its antipsychotics that day. An additional clue is that it uses obscure words like "hyperphosphorescence" and "counterrevolutionary" to conceal its agenda to contaminate or cut off our cities' water supply. I find that having to process phrases with long words like those makes me feel hoodwinked, inferior, definitely frustrated, and angry. That's why I strive for utmost clarity whenever I explain to others that by allowing Jagex to trade fundamental human rights for a cheap "guarantee" of safety and security we are selling our souls for dross. Instead, we should be striving to break the mold and stray from the path of conventional wisdom.

Jagex's remarks have a crippling effect on science and technology. Yes, I could add that its few positive contributions will continue to be overshadowed by its broader message of hate, but I wanted to keep my message simple and direct. I didn't want to distract you from the main thrust of my message, which is that Jagex is like a pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between Jagex and a pigeon is that Jagex intends to lay all of society open to the predations of organized criminality. That's why I undeniably dislike Jagex. Likes or dislikes, however, are irrelevant to observed facts, such as that a bunch of the most disagreeable slimeballs I've ever seen have recently been accused of increasing society's cycle of hostility and violence. Jagex's fingerprints are all over that operation. Even if it turns out that it is not ultimately responsible for instigating it, the sheer amount of its involvement demands answers. For instance, why does Jagex hate our country? I once asked Jagex that question—I am still waiting for an answer. In the meantime, let me point out that Jagex's confreres often reverse the normal process of interpretation. That is, they value the unsaid over the said, the obscure over the clear.

Jagex's pledge not to force us to adopt rigid social roles that compromise our inner code of ethics is merely empty rhetoric, invoked on occasion for theatrical effect but otherwise studiously ignored. Does Jagex really know anything about the pranks it claims to support? No, it doesn't. For the sake of the universe, I hope that this is the only planet that contains socially inept, unregenerate spivs like Jagex. Each rung on the ladder of antagonism is a crisis of some kind. Each crisis supplies an excuse for Jagex to offer hatred with a pseudo-intellectual gloss. That is the standard process by which soporific charlatans galvanize a recalcitrant, flippant hysteria, a large-scale version of the presumptuous mentality that can redefine success and obscure failure.

Having endured countless hours of listening to Jagex's exploitative gibber, I can say with confidence that I've managed to come up with a way in which its essays could be made useful. Jagex's essays could be used by the instructors of college courses as a final examination of sorts. Any student who can't find at least 20 errors of fact or fatuous statement automatically flunks. Extra credit goes to students who realize that Jagex's most stuck-up tactic is to fabricate a phony war between snooty harijans and neo-evil nincompoops. This way, it can subjugate both groups into helping it condemn children to a life of drugs, gangs, drinking, rape, incest, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and a number of other horrors. I clearly don't want that to happen, which is why I'm telling you that Jagex can't possibly believe that taxpayers are a magic purse that never runs out of gold. It's inaniloquent but it's not that inaniloquent.

Jagex says that courtesy and manners don't count for anything. I've seen more plausible things scrawled on the bathroom walls in elementary schools. Jagex is good at stirring its blackshirts into a frenzied lunacy of hatred and vengeance. Doing so blinds them to the fact that it dismisses its critics as either servants of an existing power structure or as suffering from false consciousness. This is not what I think; this is what I know. I additionally know that when it comes to Jagex's "compromises", I doubtlessly profess that we have drifted along for too long in a state of blissful denial and outright complacency. It's time to cast a ray of light on its obscene bons mots. The sooner we do that the better because Jagex is eminently feckless. Think about it, and I'm sure you'll agree with me. We live in cankered times. That's all I have to say. Thank you for reading this letter.

 

This is very pointless. All you did was copy and paste this text from some non-runescape/non-jagex related place and changed some of the text so the word 'Jagex' is in it. The text isn't even related to Runescape or Jagex for that matter. If you had posted this with intention of sounding smart then it didn't work at all. This thread is SPAM and doesn't belong here.

 

Even though this is copypasta, I feel obligated to point out that you have a confederate flag in your bedroom.

 

Dude fuck what was that site called.

 

Some originality would have been nice, especially since you say it was your opinion. If this is a joke, then that would make more sense

 

This is bullshit. What has it got to do with Runescape? Did you copy paste that?

 

Its some site where you enter the persons name and it comes out with long ass paragraphs.

 

So basically this is spam? I was reading the post and was like wtf?

 

Yeah it is lol.

 

For Christ sake Eric.

Happy 1000th, but this is still spam.