I had a visit from the fucking FBI.

Posting this here because I'm not active in any other sections...

First off, I'm not like a huge movie pirate or anything. This visit (and confiscation of my PC) was more about my affinity for child pornography, which, even though I am 15, is still very much illegal. (Thank God I don't turn 16 until October, or I might've been doing jail time.)

Anyway, here's how it happened; I got a call at about noon last saturday (six days ago) from my local police department. They said they needed to take my hard drive. They gave me a bunch of reasons, but the most dominant one was that they suspected I had downloaded child pornography.

So I do what any man would do; I frantically deleted everything illegal I could find on my computer before they showed up. Now, some of you might be asking, why didn't I format it or run a magnet over it? Well, because they were coming to get it immediately, so I only had maybe 15 or 20 minutes to work with, if that.

Anyway, they showed up, took my computer, and just fuckin' left like that. They didn't give me an estimate of how long it would take or anything. So I was left with my shitty 1.5 Ghz processor'ed laptop.

Now for the fun part. Six days later, that is, today, I got a knock on my door at about 11:00 am. It was a guy in a suit, shirt and tie, etc., basically exactly what you'd expect an FBI agent to look like, except he took off his sunglasses once he came inside, and was surprisingly polite, if a bit gruff.

So he sits down with me and starts asking me all about my past. He asks me to start with my childhood. I'm thinking, "what the fuck, does this asshole think he's a psychologist or something?"

Well, fuck it. If this'll keep me out of prison, I'll say anything to this asswipe. So I look him in the eyes, and start giving him the jist of my childhood. "In west Philadelphia born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days - chillin' out, maxin' relaxin' all cool, and all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school. When a couple of guys, that were up to no good, started causin' trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, and said 'you're moving in with your auntie and uncle in Bel-air.' I begged and pleaded with her the other day, but she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way. She gave me a kissin' and gave me my ticket, I put on my walkman and said I might as well kick it. First class yo, this is bad, drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass! Is this what people of Bel-air livin' like? Hmm, this might be alright! I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say this cab was rare, but I thought now forget it, yo home to Bel-air! I pulled up to a house about seven or eight, and I yelled to the cabby 'yo, homes, smell you later!' Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to settle my throne as the prince of Bel-air."

 

Oh really?

 

Had me going there for a minute.

 

you didn't fucking finish the story god dammit what is your problem i dont understand people anymore

 

dammit solid...

 

I fucking lold in rl

 

wall of text burns my eyes, not use to it in spam forum soz

 

So what did the fucking FBI guy say in the end!?

 

will smith had a similar story

 

hAHAHAHAHAHAH

 

ha u guys r got owneded!

Just thought i'd bring back some old school to the spam forum so it wouldn't be as shitty for a day or so.

 

I can't believe I read it all. I caught on when you said;

 

Obvious Troll Is Obvious

 

you actually got me D:

 

Didn't get me, I always read the last sentence in stories like this to make sure.

But it was a good story. Need better ending.

 

tl;dr

 

fuck.

 

I knew it was a troll the whole time but these stories are usualy interesting