Beast - Information regarding my pardon

Good day Sythe moderators. I’m here for help.
I’ve come to ask for assistance in how to get my pardon accepted.
I am a first time offender of rule breaking on this site.
I have never been accused of scamming, nor doxing from previous members of the site prior to what happen. In fact I helped a fellow admin of the site @Andy prosecute a member that shared his dox.
My actions were not correct, and I have come to my senses regarding this. I have apologized & accepted the consequence which was handed to me for nearly 10 months now.
My behavior has changed, I have had little “outburst” in the sythe discord but keep in mind, you guys specifically set the standard for that discord, and label it as spam forum. toxic behavior is not what I was banned for, so it shouldn’t be relevant to the decisions. However it was, and we are passed the months of it being used against me.
I’ve tried to reach out to multiple staff members asking for assistance on how to improve.
Nearly no one responds. The few that do gave me tips on how to improve, and I followed their advice, and executed positive behavior &/or taking a “break”.

There is a few staff members that simply do not like me, whether it is from holding grudges from the past or just my persona I put off. This though should also not be a determining factor that precedes with a negative vote towards my pardon as if is not relevant to the request.
Why is this allowed?

It’s only right to be told what you’re doing wrong so you can improve.
Yes what I did was wrong, Yes I accept & forgave for what I did. Again, I’m a first time offender to this.

My toxic behavior shouldn’t be ruled against me, if you really want to know how I am outside of that discord which everyone is toxic towards each other. Than message me. To the staff members that I’ve talked to on voice & through DM’s, you know I am not toxic. You know I am there to help & put countless hours towards something that doesn’t benefit me directly but benefits others (multiple anti scams, CDT,PR events).

In what areas do I need to improve on to be pardoned back into the community, or if this is a dying request. Please just let me know that, I feel I deserve enough respect for that.
Thank you to everyone of you.
Have a great start to your week