Battle Verse

Hey, just a verse I made up for the Battle thread

Advancin on and slappin kids
A violence activist,
I cause every witness to step back to this
Coz I'm rippin it, as easy as paper
I'ma slay ya,
Slice ya mindset, leave it gapin like a crater
Who's gunna be ya savior?
I'm the illest rapper to ever come out of down under, Australia
I leave ya confused
Ask yaself, 'What you gonna do?'
You can't reply to this kid, coz ya surely gunna lose
What else you need as proof?
You fake fucks are posin, you're all liein' through ya tooth
Settin' standards that are breaching the roof
How ya gunna diss me when all I speak is the truth?
My modes only set in cruise
Easy bypassin' while hard laughin at you and ya dudes
All I do is spit and chew,
Spill my rhymes, while at the same time defeat and defuse
Every line is a clue, to how I slaughter you and everything in relation
I spit scripts, that leave dicks gripped and ya masturbatin
Let it go, this supposed to be a rhyme structured conversation!
A words sensation in this rhyme debatin'
Jealousy's makin' all these inadequate fucks to be hatin
I'm as evil as satan, but fuck that shit
My mics my gun and I'm ready to buck that shit
I come back quick
Spit shit to penetrate deeper than a thumb tack bitch.

Tell me what you think please.
Thanks.

 

I like it dude

 

thanks man

 

it was okay (dont take that as bad)
just work on your bar structure and everything else was actually good
keep it up man you might end up doing pretty well

 

sweet..
yeah i don't really focus on the technical shit
except i know when it sounds retarded
and if its ever like that, then i fix it up
but i didnt see too much wrong with this one
so i didnt go into detail of fixing the little shit up

thanks brutha

 

Haha hello my name is, is a douche. He origionally posted you're rap was shit n then decide to delete that comment and re-write a new one before you read it --- because everyone he has battled so far has killed him.

Oh well.

 

lol for one thing i DIDNT say his sucked cuz its better than yours
for another, im not a douche, just because your a total whiny bitch and cant take the fact you cant write

 

Cute bro,
Cause me and 4 people read what you wrote, you're to busy being angry at the fact you're a shit rapper and a faggot - rather than actually bring game. I've said it 6 times now.. call me out you bitch.