2 minute rap.

You see me spit at this shit, R.I.P at this shit,
Dig at my wrists, and bury the twists.
I'm deranged!
From an early age i raged in phases,
Smoked blunts and awoke the neighbours
Drugged up, infactuated with crazes.
Crazy or insane? Cell got no membrane,
But no cell can retain or reframe me.
Co'z im deranged, fuked and lazy.
I'll still destroy you,
You're mom sucked my dik, just to employ you.
But she did'nt swollow, so now ill deploy you.
No one enjoys you.. so keep talking that shit..
And FUCK ill decoy you. To where you came from..
Picking up shit and soy dew.

 

Nice. I usually don't enjoy raps but these lyrics remind me of myself. ^_^

 

So ur as sane as i am.

 

It's good dude, nice.. check mine out

it's titled "Battle Verse"

 

alright ill give PROPER feed lol

You see me spit at this shit, R.I.P at this shit,
Dig at my wrists, and bury the twists.
^Love the RIP line, but your opener should always be FIRE its a hook for a reason

I'm deranged!
From an early age i raged in phases,
Smoked blunts and awoke the neighbours
Drugged up, infactuated with crazes.
^first line to be honest was garbage, you need to follow the syllable rule
after that was a little better (except neighbors doesnt rhyme with crazes perfectly or slantly)

Crazy or insane? Cell got no membrane,
But no cell can retain or reframe me.
Co'z im deranged, fuked and lazy.
I'll still destroy you,
^No logic in this AT all *Membranes are in all cells lol*
And sells are ALL that retain you lol
lazy doesnt rhyme with destroy you AT all lol (im assuming you were trying to make the "destroy you" go with the employ you, but it cant because you arnt following a actual rap form then more of a freeverse poem that doesnt have structure, so either way its not right)

You're mom sucked my dik, just to employ you.
But she did'nt swollow, so now ill deploy you.
No one enjoys you.. so keep talking that shit..
And FUCK ill decoy you. To where you came from..
Picking up shit and soy dew.
if your going to do a outlyer rhyme you need to have the inner rhymes actually work (shit and from dont work and the soy dew was 3 lines apart which made no sense)


overall: 7/10 just work on your shit bro, youll get better

 

Bro, u can't be serious?
I do biology, of course i know cells have membranes. It's a metaphor in the rhyme.

Thanks, but i'd rather take advice from someone who knows what their talking about. This rap is class

And stop talking about everything hasto make perfect sense. Go listen to eminem or bizzare, then come back here.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

im pretty sure i know more then you, ive been in the music industry for a year and ive worked with more underground rappers then you could count (mr. i think im the shit)

Rap doesnt have to make sense, but it has to have quality

Check out the actual guide retard yeah i wrote it, i think i fucking know what im talking about

http://www.sythe.org/showthread.php?t=581347
get skill, then come back fucking moron yeah thats just the BASICS
your shit is just trash like WM... kay bye

 

Ready for me to make you look like an idiot?

1. "

"

2. "So itd be:
The man was sitting on a bench with a pad and pen
He decided to write lyrics of slutty wemon and sad men"

HAHAHAHHAHA 'wemon'.

3. You've been in the industry, send me some of you're shit big boy. Underground? Ok bring some shit here then. Or add my msn and we will give each other time limits to throw 4 verses each. Lets see how good you are. Cause what people here are telling me you are fucking shit.

Btw check out my guide on how to rap, its not only ranked better than you're crap, it also makes sense.

Good fight or?

Come back when you have some real shit to prove u cock.

By the way ahahahahaha:

"Never go back/ Forever known past"

Nice rhyme dip shit.

 

Lmfao Nice Joke

 

Ready for me to make you look like an idiot?

1. do you think id actually put in MY actual work in a tutorial for losers like you to steal, biters man, its hilarious

2HAHAHAHA spelling isnt a big fucking deal, atleast not to you and your "neighbours" fucking idiot

3. My shit? hahaha dude my shit has intensity and skill
check out MY lyrics, there way better then your garbage
Waterflow freestyle: http://sythe.org/showthread.php?t=592335
and go look up and down the fucking music forum, this is MY shit, i OWN it, and i OWN you and your garbage rhymes

 

dude, fed up of this

"this is MY shit, i OWN it, and i OWN you and your garbage rhymes"

STFU

if you go around thinkin ur the fuckin best chances are u aint.

if everybody else tellin you your the best? fair enough..

ill w8 till u drop on my thread hello.. wasnt even abuot you but stuck ya nose in anyway.

ill see what ya drop

 

After i post this, dont bother coming back.

1. So you admit you're guide is bullshit

2. Ye speling aint a big deal, but your raps are so bad they are a point of unreadable.

3. You call your shit skill? Show up in the rap battle section.. Battle me.. Add me on msn.. Step up to the plate, at the moment all u do is talk shit out youre ass.

I've looked up the music forum, barly seen you mate. Btw anyone can rhyme amazingly whn you give them one year to write something. Battle me on the spot you pussy. We will get a judge. RYAN the admin let i say?

Unless you have anything productive to say then dont come back cause u r fuking shit.

Btw nice rhyme:
"We are like water, our life is ever changing
Depending on the situation were in, our outcome will be outstanding
Now understand me, im only one man"

1. Didnt rhyme dip shit.
2. How does water change.. unless from going from a liquid to a gas or a solid.
3. You are comparing water to different situations and outcomes ... FAIL.

You fail, im over you're shit.

I 100% agree, he is fucking shit and thinks he has a record deal and that he is top shit. He needs to GTFO or step up to the plate.

 

1. So you admit you're guide is bullshit

my guide isnt bullshit, i just didnt want to put my rhymes in there so someone could take my one liners (it happens ALL the time with alot of people)

2. Ye speling aint a big deal, but your raps are so bad they are a point of unreadable.

point out more than 20 mistakes in one of my rhymes, i can probably point out 10-20 in yours

3. You call your shit skill? Show up in the rap battle section.. Battle me.. Add me on msn.. Step up to the plate, at the moment all u do is talk shit out youre ass.

i hit you up in the call out rabs post (kind of turned into a battle between me and some other faggot but whatever the first post was a hit at you)


Btw nice rhyme:
"We are like water, our life is ever changing
Depending on the situation were in, our outcome will be outstanding
Now understand me, im only one man"

1. Didnt rhyme dip shit.

changing and outstanding are a slant rhyme RETARD

2. How does water change.. unless from going from a liquid to a gas or a solid.

water changes based on the container you put it in "moron"
liquids dont have a solid structure that means if its moved it changed the structure meaning were EVER changing because we move and make choices

3. You are comparing water to different situations and outcomes ... FAIL.
how is it "fail" its actually a pretty well known metaphor in poetry
The water to different situations and outcomes? thats pretty obvous
It means (because you dont understand): that the movements we make (like water) will result in different outcomes and changes





I 100% agree, he is fucking shit and thinks he has a record deal and that he is top shit. He needs to GTFO or step up to the plate.

when did i say i had a record deal, i said i worked in music production (which has NOTHING to do with having a record deal

i said i was top shit to piss you off which it obvously did

actually when i came in here i didnt do anything but HELP you, and you were a dick, so i decided if your going to act like the shit, well i mideswell piss you off, and yeah it worked and yeah i am better but thats only because unlike you when people try to fucking teach me something (thats actually helpful) i listen and learn from it -.-

Next time you act like a hard ass realize who your talking to

 

I know exactly who i'm talking to you. You're a joke. I take advice when i know im at fault or from someone who knows what they are talking about.

U didn't act top shit to piss me off, you just think you are top shit. But ur not mate.

I'm over this and im over u, ur trash and stop thinking you are gods gift to the world.

 

like i said ive been doing this for a year and ive learned from some of the best, i think i know what im talkin about

no i dont think im the shit, i know im not actually i know im just a average rapper (which is better then the bullshit you wrote but i wanted to HELP you not suck so bad which you dont want help so whatever suck away)

god doesnt exist, nuff said

 

Some of the best, you're a joke!!!!!

And ur not an average rapper, you're shit. I keep asking you to battle me but u keep changing the subject and call me crap. You insult instead of stepping up you fag.

"(which is better then the bullshit you wrote but i wanted to HELP you not suck so bad which you dont want help so whatever suck away)"

Learn to make sense as well.

 

idiot i already took a hit at you,

go check the post where the dude you "Think" is on your side called you out and i battled him, yeah i won that and ill win against you obvously

 

1.Link me.

2.If u call that a hit then i feel sorry for you.
Battle me, im not asking again, or are u a fukin pussy?

EDIT: 2 days later - Thats what i thought!

 

nicely done, keep up the good work enjoyed it.

 

http://sythe.org/showthread.php?t=649093

That link is where i spanked Hell my name is in a battle.