Ever wonder why Horde usually win in BGs?

Tgump · Jun 28, 2009

Here is your God.

I've figured it out.

A lot of people will tell you that the Alliance has more "children" playing, and that contributes to the factor that we obtain so many losses on our [Countlessly-notched Losers Belt of Shame] (enchanted w/ +5 QQ). Yes, I would agree that a lot of kiddies install WoW and look at the faction line up and say: Oooo what a pretty night elf! or Hee hee! I wanna be a gnome because they're short like me! ... /sigh. But I'm also convinced that a lot of these kids roll horde? I mean just look how infamous the Barrens Chat is! So kids are clearly running rampant on both sides...

So what's letting the Alliance kids get into the lvl 70 BGs and not the Horde?

Simple. Horde Cities.

You see, all Alliance cities are based on one very simple, very flat shape: the circle.
Stormwind: One loop, one level. Districts ARE BASICALLY NAMED to direct classes to the trainers.
Darnassus: A circle with a lake in the middle.
Ironforge: Do I need to go on?

Basically Alliance cities are allowing these "wonderful" kids to LITERALLY RUN IN CIRCLES until they find their way! It's just a matter of time until they reach 70 and then continue these aimless circles in the battlegrounds.

But you Horde have cleverly designed your cities to prevent this!
Orgrimmar: Kinda this weird "S" shape with multiple levels.
Thunder Bluff: Elevators! BRIDGES OF DEATH! Need I say more? And it has tiered rises.

Ok, now I'm sure by now, you Horde have said: Wait, Undercity is a circle!!! And it sure is. But it's also a multileveled circle WITH MORE ELEVATORS! And here lies the problem, most grade schoolers aren't taught 3-dimensional objects or shapes until High School. Thus limiting their thinking processes to simply the planar circle, which they'll promptly fall off the catwalks and drown in the UC Canals because they see that yellow mini-map dot is in front of them and don't realize it's 4 levels up...

Even if you compare the health risk of these cities too! How times have you just not been paying attention and accidentally ran too far off the elevator dock in TB? Whoops! That'll cost you 10% on your gear. For the alliance, you actually have to TRY to jump in the giant pit of lava in Ironforge. There's invisible walls preventing our "precious cargo" from falling in...

And, if I may take it one step further (no pun intended here), transport ships. Horde, your zeppelins almost spell doom for those who risk standing too close to the edge. If the fall doesn't kill you, the mob you just aggro'd will finish the job. Whereas our boats provide a soft cushion of water to let our minnows swim back to safety.

In conclusion, the Horde become a pack of killing machines by pure Darwinism. By leaving your Horde-kiddies lost and homeless on your major city streets, you allow the intelligent, strategy-minded individuals to succeed and dominate. The Alliance just gets stuck with these "gifted" little mouth-breathers that would be just as excited to watch battleground combat as they would watching the Visualization Effects on Windows Media Player (on their parents PC no less).

So Alliance, I unfortunately leave the solution up to you. Who knows, maybe it's putting the BG masters on top of 50 foot tall pillars that require you to navigate elevators, bridges, and perform death-defying leaps just to queue! Or maybe we should just let these kiddos run in circles, just in a different city... "What you're looking for the King of Stormwind? Oh, he's in Darnassus, here, I'll port you...." and let them run until their little hearts desire (... then promptly expire.) But I am sadly in the belief that we've been infected to no return, and we just must face this head on:

Provide IQ tests at sign on for all Alliance members.
Click to expand...

Smug · Jun 28, 2009

ROFL, win!

FailingHard93 · Jun 28, 2009

Indeed.

Rogerdodger · Jun 28, 2009

LMAO i thought you were going to go into detail about the race skills, like the tauren 10% hp or orc attack power increased or BE mana tap, but this is deff win. fail blizzard. fail.

Hammerburst · Jun 29, 2009

I agree 100% With this.On my Main realm Horde alwaaaaays Wins the Non Mostly likey Twinking brackets.Alliance always wins the Twinking brackets.I seriously do think Alliance Has more twinks than they Do Regluar Toons.Not trying to flame But that is very true What that Person Posted On WoW-Fourms.

PÃƒÂ¥blo · Jun 29, 2009

duh, this is old news haha. Alliances are always teenagers and lower level kids, hords are grownup nerds that know everything. Everyone knew this ages ago...that is why more hord are on now.

Hammerburst · Jun 29, 2009

PÃ¥blo said: ↑

duh, this is old news haha. Alliances are always teenagers and lower level kids, hords are grownup nerds that know everything. Everyone knew this ages ago...that is why more hord are on now.
Click to expand...

Excatly what do you mean by Grownup Nerds?

PublicityFtF · Jun 29, 2009

I really liked the multileveled theory. Good thing I've always played Horde

MM_Alex · Jul 1, 2009

you think faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar to much.

QQ Bloody QQ · Jul 1, 2009

Haha i can so agree to this.

FC&amp;W · Jul 2, 2009

Haha, there is no doubt in my mind that this is true. It's so simple for an Alliance to find something, and the guards are all over as well.

EpicNova · Jul 2, 2009

Thanks for this, and I don't doubt this is true.

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