rap songs made or in the making Mc-Kraze

heres a rap song im working on. i call my self Mc Kraze. tell me what u think of them.
Verse 1
Cant take no more bull shit
All this shit that I say and spit
stomp down when ya hear this click
All ya need is one sip
And you’ll be gone for a trip
With me
you’ll see I got the juice that you need
I love this greed
that’s why im spreading this disease
When you tease I cant breathe
So I sit and I write
I can see the end of my life
Right now
No wife in jail waitin for my ship to sail
Still getting no mail puttin shit on scale trying to make bail
Im stuck when I fail why yo weed is so stale
Hitting ya like nails we be makin it hail

Hook-WHEN THESE BITCHES SEE US WE BE MAKIN EM WET
MAKIN EM SWEAT DOIN THE WHOLE SET
DIS IS WHAT IT IS DIS IS WHAT U GET


Born to dis game, ppl always hollain my name, oo kraze lemme have sum of dat fame, haha all I do is laugh at dat shit, sip on sum syrup take another hit, aint think when I spit, I jus do dis shit, getting money like right quick, bitches always wanna suck my dick, sell em bricks I do dis shit, u aint belong here go on and suck on ya mommas tit, slittin ya neck like I jus slip, spittin so sick, aint gotta have a fit, ya girls puss fits jus like a mit, gimme sum lip and imma shoot from my hip, come on girl jus a lil sip,

Lit dis game up den I spit It back up, eh yo wad up, get up and smoke up, look up and shape up, toked up and coked up, kraze do dis shit up, no cuts and no butts, we do dis shit till we fucked up, always got dos goods neva sold outt, no doubt we can do dis jus gimme a shout, man dis is the drought and you’s about to get knocked out,

Ye and dis is when I lean, lemme sell dat green, got me poppin em beans, I aint a fiene but I produce hot steam, age sixteen dis shit jus come to me, Reppin Dat ma fuckin TP, dis is who I be, noone else be like me, always got ppl askin who is he, k-r-a-z-e ye holla at me,

 

Nice man

 

wow you blow no punchlines no bars no chorus your the next lil wayne except you wont have a dad to get you up there so you wont make it big.

 

What really makes a rap or hip-hop song sound good are metaphors, punchlines, etc. Rap is a type of poetry. Use what poets use and that is what will make you better. Rhyming with an AB scheme doesn't make you a good rapper. Chorus also helps unless that was more of a free style.

 

Rap is like an abortion baby..... No one really wants it, but its there anyways.....

 

No it's not there. They flush them down the toilet. Everyone knows that! Haha jk. I actually like hip-hop but not like thug rap.

 

This sucks. It's just another shitty rap song about nothing.

Good fight.

 

Bro, horrible lyrics.
Learn to type english.

 

Wow all you kids saying this stuff sucks, there not just typed, HE SINGS THEM, something you little fucks will never be able to to with your squeely ass voices.