I have a problem, help.

Hi,

Around a week ago now, one of my best friends got dumped by her boyfriend..
She told me that a few nights before they had sex.. The lights were off so she couldn't see if he had a condom on or not. The next day, he tells her that he wasn't wearing one.. She freaked.
a day or two later, he dumped her.

She's 14..
He's nearly 15..

She's more worried that she lost him, as they've been going out for nearly a year. The only life she has was him..She comes from a 'bad' family background/poor ect.
She gets wrecked at home..

He is more worried about her being pregnant, he freaked and dumped her..As he doesn't want to be a father.

At the moment, I'm freaking about her pregnancy. I'm the only one of our friend group that knows..
I'm so worried, I've been keeping her company, supporting her about him dumping her.
In the back of my head..It sits there "She's Pregnant"..


I need some help on how to approach this and support her.

Some options here I've cancled out:

*Her mother: Her mother will freak, kick her out of home ect.

*Her Father: Her fathers a major druggo who lives out of town.

*Her brother: Her brother will tell her mum.

*Her grandparents: Rich slobs, will tell her mum.

*School teacher: They'll approach her mother.


I don't know what to do guys.. Please, mature posts to help me.

 

well maybe she should go to one of those pregnant teens center( whatever they are called)... I am sure they can help her....

 

What about let her take a Pregnancy Test first?

 

tell her mum.

 

Firstly, you don't know she's pregnant.

Secondly, dumping someone doesn't avoid the responsibility if you got them pregnant. Your friend just fucked up a relationship for no reasonable reason.

Now, to actually help.

You really don't know she's pregnant yet. Having unprotected sex doesn't mean you are pregnant, it means there's a higher CHANCE you are. Many people have sex without any contraceptive and don't get pregnant, some people even have difficulty when TRYING to.

However there is still a chance she is, she should go get a pregnancy test and take it.

If she is in-fact pregnant you should seek professional help. I.E. Doctors

Just be there to support her

 

I agree, this is a very good idea. They are normally confidential, and Im sure they could help her with her probelms about being dumped too.

Yes, it would be good to let her check first.

I think mainly go to a teen pregnancy/sex clinic centre thing. (If you can find one, I dont know where one would be)

 

She should get her self checked out, maybe she isn't pregnant. Either way if she keeps the baby he will have to pay child support for the rest of his life.

 

I don't see exactly where you come in on this...? You seem like a third person to me.

 

If she is pregnant, then her boyfriend dumping her wont affect him being a father or not as he must pay child support the day untill the kid is 18.

I would say to the kid whom might have got per pregnant to suck up, be a man, and take full responsibility or things will be much harder for him.

 

Wait let me get this strait...

So they had sex which was unprotected. The boyfriend knew he wasn't wearing one, but then realized the next morning that he wasn't? So he dumped her just in case?

Also, there is something called the morning after pill. Take it within 24 hours and if you were pregnant, your not anymore. Too late though =P.

And, if she is pregnant, he is responsible for paying child support for 18 years minimum. Regardless if they aren't married or anything.

Since this was recently you can't tell she is pregnant yet, if she is. Just wait a week and hope she bleeds.

 

Dude, I would ask the girl to consult with the guy.

Let her really talk to him about how serious this situation goes. Maybe be talking it out then this can be resolved of what goes further.

Furtherly: I'd suggest you taking a pregnancy test.

If the results are positive then:

Really consult the boyfriend. Have them talk to each other about what they're going to do.
Make sure the test is valid- some tests can come up with invalid information and it's better if you make sure it is right.
If this goes to a point uncontrollable, there's no other way but to tell a trusted adult, no matter who, just someone close.

If it's negative, she should still tell him about it. How traumatizing and how this put her in a massive state of shock.

It's important both people express how they feel and the best way is communication to get this situation resolved.

 

Deal with it. He should of known to wrap it up. It's all up to him now. It's not your buisness or responability to deal with.

 

Oh, thanks for that.

I'm the good friend that stuck by in a hard time.

They had a talk today, It didn't go so well.. It ended up in him being slapped, both of them crying. Her being suspended for ditching.

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Thanks guys. If any of you have some things that I personally can do to help her, It'd be appreciated.

 

Get her checked man, they got preg. tests everywhere. If she's not well, there's a whole life time of planning that isn't needed. If she is, your friend should deal with it. He should go talk to her parents and tell them what happened. He shouldn't have been that dumb to have sex with her without a condom.

 

My opinion.

Go to your local supermarket, buy a preg test.
If i turns out positive, decide whether to have the baby OR go to a clinic and get an abortion.

 

Agree with that

 

But an abortion on young ppl will need signature of the parents (Premission).. well thats how it goes here.. but I should recommend her to have morning after pills whit her next time! I actually think this is pretty sad..

 

I don't really see why the hell he dumped her... What the hell would that do to fix the situation?

 

If she's pregnant, she's pregnant. She deserves it for having unprotected sex at the age of 14.

And it looks like the guy was in it only for the sex seeing as he dumped her right after they had sex.

 

She should have just taken Emergency Contraception the day after, anyway for the boyfriend, someone should kick his ass,

Just wait until like three weeks to a month after whatever the date this happened and then take a pregnancy test, if it is negative just forget about the whole thing.