a peek into the inner workings of my intoxicated brain

i was told i should share this, so here it is!


katie, i'm not sure if you're aware of this but i loves yew a whole bunch like, i dunno how to explain how much i loves yew cuz the english language doesn't have words that properly explain the copious amounts of love i have for you, if i could speak another language then i ~may~ be able to express it, but prolly not, unless it was italian which is the language of love, but even then i dunno if that would be able to show how much love i have for you, cuz i have a whole lot, like if my love for you was bears then eveyone ever would be eated by my love bears cuz they'd be all over the place, you wouldn't even be able to move cuz my love bears would be all in the way and shit and you'd be all 'excuse me mr. lovebear, you is in mah way, and i would appreciate it if you would move just a lil' and he'd be all 'FUCK you!!! i is a representation of coreys love for you so i can't move cuz i is all over th place!!!!' and that would be no good, cuz then you would have no arm rooms for movin' and whatnot, so you would hafta fight the lovebears and thats fuckin' ridiculous cuz they are love bears and they shouldn't be fought, all they wanna do is represent my love, but i understand, cuz ya know., arm room is important, and i have so much love for joo that i can deal with a few lovebears being fought, cuz even without those few there will be superfluous amounts of lovebears to represent my loves for you, cuz ya know i prolly haven't explained this yet, but i love yew a lot , so much that if my love for you was dinosaurs they would hafta fight the lovebears cuz there wouldn't be enough room for both of them!!! and it would be a battle of epic proportions cuz everyone knows dinosaurs are lovebears natural enemies...its science, so after this Battle the survivors would obviously be a better representation of my love, my moneys on the dinosaurs, so those dinosaurs would be like 'FUCKRAWR!!!!!!' and eat everyone cuz my love for joo consumes all! then the dinosaurs would be like 'well shit we eated everyone and now i'm bored' so they would anti-eat badasses and of course you and i would be first to be un-eated cuz we are incredibly awesome, like the awesome-ometer would fuckin' explode cuz of the insane levels of amazing we expel, then after we were un-eated by the love-dinos they'd be like 'holy fuck there is too much sexy in those two for me to handle!!!!' and they would spontaneously combust becuase of our hot-ness and we'd be like 'well shit, i really wish those dinosaurs didn't catch on fire cuz of us, cuz they were way cool' and because of our win they'd be like 'holy shit we un-fired!' and then we would have an amazing dino-dance party cuz for real who doesn't wanna dance with dinos!? i know i do, and if you anyone disagrees i will fight them! but since only badasses were un-eated no one will disagree and we will dance until we can dance no more, and then we will have a ginormous cuddle puddle until we are rested enough to continue our dino-dance, and when we are sick of that we will get the lovebears back and they'll be like 'dude, i'm so glad i'm back, cuz all i wanna do is smoke some ganja with katie and corey cuz they are fucking incredible!' and of course lovebears have fuckin' mad good weed, cuz ya know, lovebears know whats up, they don't fuck around with skankweed, they go pro, and lovebears love you and i cuz, honestly, who doesn't!? so they will smoke us up so hard, then we will travel through time, with the help of the lovebears, cuz they''ve mastered quantum physics, and they are totally cool with us using the dolorian, so after we aquire 1.21 gigawatts we will go back to the 60's and go to woodstock get incredibly fucked up and just watch awesome bands and enjoy the free love, then we will take another trip in the dolorian to watch sublime, and we will chill with them and smoke all sorts of pot, then when we are tired of that era, we will travel to the future with sublime and we'll take our flying cars, cuz they totally have those in the future. and we will go to future england and acquire the accent and that will just be incredibly hawt, and everyone will wanna sexs us, but we will only sexs the sexiest of the sexy cuz ya know, standards are important, but not gunna lie, we are the very sexiest, i mean everyone already knows that, it pretty much goes without saying, but i just wanted to put it in text cuz it makes me feel good in the soul region, ya know? but then after we sex the sexiest of the future-filk we will go back in time to the 40's and i will punch hitler in his testicles cuz hes a dirty gay, and i don't take kindly to his hate mongering, but that shits not important cuz we will be traveling through tie and thats just badass, and when we tire of time travl, we'll be like 'well fuck, what do we do know, we've already been through so much amazing cuz we're the coolest ever, what do we do know!?' and then at that very moment the whole universe will explode cuz or awesome-ocity just overwhelms jesus christ and his church of latter day saints, so everyones all dead and shit, except us and god, but god is boring, so i'm prolly gunna hafta fight him, we will sell tickets to the angels and statn to our epic match of fisticuffs, and after i defeat him i will be god, obviously, so i'll make a whole new universe where everyone is as cool as us, and because everyone is so kickass there is no war, and no hate, cuz how can you hate anyone thats even half as cool as us? answer: you can't! so after i create this new universe, i figure i'll prolly appoint you as god too, so that you can make universes, cuz fo' real, who deson't wanna make a universe, i know you do, don't even pretend like you don't, cuz thats deceitful and as co-god i don't appreciate that shit! but ya know, you're also god, so to be totaly honest with you you can do whatever you want, but it would be pretty sweet if you wouldn't lie to me cuz i don't like being lied to, it hurts me right in the heart, but as god my heart would be made of chocolate, cuz lets be serious if gods heart isn't made of chocolate, hes probably a faggot, and if gods a fag, he definitely wants a piece of me, cuz everyone else does, but really, i don't want any part of gay-god sex, i mean, i know hes god, and its very flattering that he wants me, but ya know what, i just love boobies too much to let god sex me, unless god is infact a chick cuz if that was the case i'm sure that she would prolly have the move epic boobies in the entire world, and i would prolly need to motor boat them, cuz is it not everyones dream to motorboat god? if that is not a sincere goal of yours then you're probably a goddamn republican, and is there anything in this world worse than a republican? i don't think so, maybe one thing, and thats country musicians, but since they all have an IQ of less than 10 they will be completely wiped out when i'm god, cuz i'm so bringing back Darwinism, and since all country musicians are dead then everyone thats left will through a huge-tastic party, with all kinds ska, and people will skank for days, infact more people will die from over skanking then in any wars, cuz like i said my world will have no wars, cuz how cool everyone is, so the over-skanking shit will be all over the news and everyone wil be all sadface! people died from epic dancing, i'm very sad about their early departure from this plane of existence, but they so died for a worthy cause' cuz i really don't know if there is anything better than skanking, a few things maybe, but its a very small list, including boobies, sex, and booze, but there will be so much of all of those going around that people will not even be phased by boobies and shit, cuz in corey world, everyone is naked, and its always like 80 degrees , also duders have special vision that blocks out dick cuz i dont wanna walk around seeing other dudes tube steaks all day, i just want boobies and snatch. cuz those win. also i suppose chicks could have anti-boobies/snatch vision if they wanted, but everyone loves boobies at least so i feel like most chicks would still wanna be able to see boobies, i mean who can do anything but smile when they see tits? i know i can't help but put on a happyface when there are titties to be seen, and i'm pretty sure you're prolly with me, cuz you're epic, and you can't be epic unless you love boobs, its just the way of the world . But anyways, i'm pretty sure you're just as excited for us to be co-gods as i am, so we should prolly get on that shit quick, cuz i'm sure as hell sick of the way this world is going. and i think i would like a world run by us a whole lot better, so ya know, just lemme know when you want me to kick gods ass and i'll so do it in a heartbeat, cuz i'm not sure if you're aware, but god is a wicked pussy.

 

big wall of letters is unreadable :O

 

i will sum it up in one word: drunk.


or high

 

tl;dr

Picture means you were drunk

yey.

 

Stop posting long stories newfag.

 

ahahaha but its not copypasta