Another RAP - GOOD/BAD?

I've been schemin on the lad standin in line next to me
I'm scopin him out like a road and street directory
i have every record label throwin their cheques at me
knowing i can slaughter any MC who tries to flex to me
i'll steal ur girls u stand with.. monica AND stephanie
and i can't stand the lyrics u spit, they're fuckin depressin me
I can come at you, with the lamest shit that i have
and still make ur brains blow.. like a suicide A-rab
i hit up the bars, tell the tender to start A tab
I'ma sink a few brews before i call A cab
the amount of rappers who get smacked is so sad
all i need in this world is my mind, pen and a pad
i commit lyrical mass murder, with the illest shit you hearda
ur rhymes might be fine, but mine are far superb bra

i'll grab u from behind, slice your throat like nip and tuck
u can see by my attitude that i still dont give a fuck
i grab the mic, just like ya girls are grabbin my crotch
i'm invincible to all u motherfuckers, i cant be touched
i cant be rushed, i take my time like old men and women aboarding a bus

i have u shakin like parkinsons, more scared than archerson
u ask a line of MC's to battle, the microphone is passin 'em
after my deadly few lines, i will be politely askin 'em
to spit back at me before they see i become too harsh on 'em
no reply pisses me off, i want another chance to blast on 'em
you were smirkin before i started rhymin, now who's laughin son

rate that.. thanks

P.S. remember i'm australian, so i pronounce stuff different to you americans lol

 

Nice 9/10.

 

sounds pretty good

 

Try using metophors more. 5/10

 

Ugh too crammed in to each other...not a chance...4/10 =/

 

Perfect. Nothing else is really all that great.

 

Pretty crazy, I could never write anything cool.

 

Nice, if these are your made up lyrics, there pretty cool

 

yeah they are, thanks

 

I'll take a guess that none of this is real, which is a problem. If you're going to make it up you have to make it sound like it was real, otherwise just rap about real things...

No hate, just feedback.

 

a large amount of rap these days is made up, when u think about it..
how many times have u heard a rapper say they will kill a dude, but dont
its just for entertainment

thanks tho

 

NOt really into rap, but this was quite good

 

Good rap is about real things. Eminems best songs where about real things, The Way I Am, Mockingbird, Lose yourself. Lil Waynes shit about him killing people and doing drugs isn't good rap, it's hyped up bullshit.

I know a lot of songs are made up, but it's easy to tell they are. It's a lot better and easier to write about real things.

 

ryan, im not trying to start conflict...but look at lil waynes latest arrest. caught with 109 grams of marijuana, 44 tabs, and 25 grams of coke, with 5 unregistered firearms......

 

He's just conforming to image of a gangster. He has to try to live it because if he doesn't he's a poser and he won't sell shit. He's got nothing else, so if he acts hard, he might be able to stay where he is.

Eminem has actual skill, so he doesn't have to do that shit.

 

Not bad, I liked it 8/10

 

yeah but not every good song is real, it is better when it's real tho
ill admit

 

na ur crap

 

Step up or shut up. Or at least learn how to spell, retard.

 

dude, ur trying to be like the rap king and telling everyone how to rap, when ur not even that good. saying that i'm conforming to the gangsta image, i kno i'm not a gangsta, and i dont care about selling shit, i dont even do it irl, but u do... and i guarantee that u wont go anywhere with. seriously, stop thinking ur better than everyone, u think too highly of urself.