Carpe Diem; "Come Away With Me"- Poem For English Class.

hey sythe. im long done with playing games, too busy enjoying life...
butt yeahh thought i'd post this up for the world to enjoy
so we had to write a Carpe Diem for english hwk soo i just made it relate..
a carpe diem is like living the moment...seize the day. to me it'slike you&&your love go on a sweet escape...you get the ideaa...
i wrote it in my 5th in like 15 mins. thinking about a girl who i was falling for.
soo yeahh not my best butt hope you like it...
feedback is appreciated.
[yeahh btw the poem might confuse you so like to explain it i live on an island in the pacific so i have a beach&&stream.my family owns the village.]



"Come Away With Me"

Come with me, my love
Your skin so fragile, like the most beautiful dove.
Where did you come from?
You must be Heaven sent, by the Man up above.

Come with me, we will sail the seven sea's
And you and I will do as we please.
I will hold you tight and shelter you from the cold
Because holding your hand is worth more than all the world's gold.

Come with me, in the morning we will go to my stream
As you splash water in my face, a smile I will brightly gleam.
Then I'll push you in the water, but don't worry I will protect you
Because losing you is only something a fool would do

Come with me, during the afternoon we'll have a picnic at my beach
After we eat, to you fishing I will teach
We can walk along the sand, watching our footprints wash away
But to you I will forever be true, and never forget this day.

Come with me, by night when the day is done
We'll chill at my house and reminisce on all our fun.
Come with me, forever we will run,
Forever I will be yours, and you will be my one.

 

Reminds me of Christopher Marlowe to be honest, and he was a Carpe Diem poet. Besides the diction its pretty similar.

Maybe because his first line to Passionate Shepherd to His Love is "COME live with me and be my Love,"

 

Carpe Diem, Seize the DAY!

 

oh yeah, i forgot to add that part in.
we were discussing Marlowe&&his imitations to the Passionate Shepherd...
i used Marlowe's poem as inspiration because i didn't know what i was going to write...
buttah still havent really heard feedback!
oh bama im guessing that's a positive reply? =)

 

Nice poem dude, the rhyme and flow of this is killer, good job

 

thanks Ko Man...
it feels good&&i feel proud getting positive feedback for something i wrote.
maybe if more people reply liking this i'll post some other poems up.

 

i actually liked it, try and make your rhyming words a bit more complex
but i loved the message, and i guess simplicity can be a great thing sometimes

 

man did you really like that i mean i had to learn about all kinds of words for a story and this i didnt care to much for it was somthing like seize the moment right??

 

Finally, a good set of lines in this section.

Great job!

 

isn't pride a sin?
STATE YOUR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS :L
(wicca)

I liked it. Agreed, flowed well.

 

yes i could have made it more complex, but these were the first lines that popped in my head in my class period while thinking of my village&&her.

yes calley, the definition of a capre diem is to sieze the moment. the writer is urging a special person to make the most of the time given to them && give little thought of the future.

thanks man...i really appreciate all this feedback but i doubt i'll be writing more poems..we actually broke up though=( i might write a valediction about us though! lol only if i like it.

thanks again. reading positive replies makes my day=)

 

just started becoming active again here...
almost 400 views but nowhere near in comments?

anybody else feel the flow?
cuzz if so,
just let me know=)

or you can put a topic on the request,
&& i'll try my best,
to completely satisfy you, without contest.

damn..bored at midnight. sorry about the quickie rhyme i just want to get other reviews from this so i can post other stuff up..probably no lovey-dovey stuff though=)

 

It was average. I'm more into abstract poetry instead of the blunt sort.

 

It made me wet.

lol jokin, i liked it alot, wish i could write stuff like this for my gf :/
never really tried to write a poem before... but this was cool hehe

nice one man