A Frozen Wedding Dress.

Kissable and quaint,
But I was never satisfied,
For under such fragile hands,
My heart only lusted for more,
And as I left in a clock of shame and hunger,
In a rush of the explicit unthinkable,
A vision shrouded in cloud and mist,
A frontseat showing for what was about to be undone,

'O The Betrayer, he heard me loud and clear.
My need for lustrous curves and glistening eyes,
To be held in soft hands once again,

But now he'll take my hand,
And quench my breath,

And show me that for a guttering need,
All I would find,
Is a map of tears across the floor,
And a frozen wedding dress left behind.

Thoughts?

 

Very insightful. Sounds like someone raging about a feud with a lover.

So, who wrote this?

 

Urm, me?

 

I'd rate it at a 6-7\10

Im not quite sure what else to say about it, just keep up the good work and maybe work on your rhyme a little bit.

I realize you didnt try to rhyme on this one, it wasnt the point.

I just prefer rhyme

 

Haha, Okay.

 

I find myself just scanning through these.

Rhymes seem to keep people more captivated.

 

To me rhymes are pretty boring, too repetitive.

 

Rhymes are only repetitive if you're not creative. I almost always rhyme, so when I put up some of my stuff, you can let me know what you think of it. Otherwise good job - I appreaciated the words you used as well, not too simple but they don't come out as trying to be something too far-fetched.

 

Thanks.