Thanks, Brother.

Discussion in 'Archives' started by Solid tank, Jan 28, 2009.

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Thanks, Brother.
  1. Unread #1 - Jan 28, 2009 at 10:38 PM
  2. Solid tank
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    Thanks, Brother.

    Thanks.
    Thanks for it all.
    The smiles, the tears.
    The promises, and the lies.
    Thanks, thanks for ruining it all.

    Brother, was his name.
    Smoking Marijuana, was his game.
    Although he was a V.I.P
    It's going to have us saying R.I.P.

    But WHY.
    WHY do you put us through all this.
    WHY did you have to mess up your life.
    WHY do you have to make others suffer.
    WHY did you have to pick up that pipe.
    WHY did you pick up that beer can;
    You should have done better than this, man.
    We raised you right, you knew right from wrong.
    But it's just always, the same ol' song.

    As far as I can remember,
    I think it was in November,
    Of Sixth Grade Year.
    That's when you brought Mom and Dad the Tears.
    I was only a kid, I didn't know what was going on.
    Every week, I was scared a ton.
    Late at night, ever night, all I could hear was yelling.
    Screaming, Shouting, and Crying.
    Sister would just keep on telling,
    You to stop, and stop.
    But you wouldn't listen.
    You had your mind made up.
    And all of this, taking place, infront of your little brother, who was still growing up.
    I didn't know it at the time,
    But you were ruining it.
    Your life, Sisters, Mom's and Dad's.
    All I could do was lay in bed, sad,
    While you would run out the house, oh so mad.

    End of Sixth grade, and start of Summer.
    Holy shit, it was a bummer.
    I knew what was finally going on.
    It was all clear now.
    You, and how you were ruining your life.
    You, getting high, and drinking like crazy.
    You, getting kicked out, and running away.
    ME, not knowing if I'd ever see my brother again.
    And me, at the age of only twelve.
    Growing up around shit that most normal people;
    Wouldn't hear, Dream, Or think about going through until they were grown up.
    Car after Car, the result the same.
    Car = Totaled. and you = Missing.

    Finally, you came home, but for how long I did not know.
    Next week you were gone again, what a surprise, huh?
    Two weeks later a call from Aunt,
    Saying she found you.
    You had got in another accident, you're car gone.
    But that not the only thing - you hit your head on the steering wheel, and your memory with it.
    Your 'Friends' called Aunt, told her you needed to get your fucked up life under control.
    We didn't know how bad in shape you were,
    You're lucky to be alive, you know.
    All of this, taking right in front of me.
    A kid, growing up, Only thirteen.

    Next thing you know, Your friend Ron's dead.
    When I found out he killed himself on accident -
    With you parked outside his house -
    I stopped in my tracks knowing that could have been you.
    We were lucky to still have you.
    You knew it too.

    Eight grade, while you're over seas,
    We find out, our cousin's overdosed on Ecstasy.
    Another man down, that could have been you.
    The targets getting closer and closer,
    And the light fading away.
    Why Brother, why
    Can't you just stay,
    Away from that shit,
    Get your life straight and Fit.

    Now, I'm in this room I've been in.
    All of us have; You, Mom, Dad, and Sister.
    I'm sitting on this chair, across from me this Mister.
    We all know him, and he knows all of our secrets.
    I ask Mom and Dad to leave, for some One on One time.
    For the next 15 Minutes, this man is Mine.
    Everything was in my head perfectly;
    But as soon as they leave;
    I open my mouth, but the only thing that comes out are tears -
    From my eyes.
    I can't stop, I can't find the words to say what I'm trying to say.
    My minds blank - My heart racing.
    Five minutes pass, and nothing's changed.
    I don't know why, nor how, this is happening.
    All this time, over all those years.
    Not one single tear.
    And now I'm here;
    In front of him, and I'm crying and crying, trying to stop.
    I stop, and we talk and talk.
    I tell him I want this fairy tale to have a happy ending,
    Although it doesn't look like it is.
    I just pray and pray you find that light,
    To save you, and help you from this dark road you're on.
    We care for you, and want you to end this madness.
    I know you'll find that light, and it may not be soon.
    But Brother, I guess what I'm trying to say, is that
    I Love You.


    It's a true story, nothing changed.
    I didn't really follow a rhyming scheme, I came home and everything just came out itself.
    When it says "Now I'm in the room I've been in" It means today, when I was at the psychologist.
    CnC Please.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Song made by Magic Arrow (1/29/09)

    You roll in with that can in your hand
    You shout, You scream, all these demands
    All I could hear was mommy cryin, Daddy yellin
    About how that shit from your breath was smellin
    I was only young, I didn't deserve it.
    How my self-esteem went down, yeh you hurt it.

    I knew what was important to me.
    That is God and my family.
    Had you been gone, it woulda been a tragedy
    Losing my brother, what a catastrophe.

    You leave us, like you just don't care.
    two weeks later your back, thats not fair
    you left us, you think its all gonna be sweet now.
    Nice act, why don't you just take a bow.

    Im not saying I dont miss you,
    Im just saying we need you to
    Be strong and get out of this misery
    and we can put it all in history

    Me and you we had our days,
    Some where blue and some were grays,
    I wonder if it'll ever be the same.
    Because I know we wont care one day

    I can read read between the lies
    You can see the tears between those eyes.
    I wont tell you because you'll just deny
    That what your doing, It could make you die

    I know you see what Im telling you
    I just hope its gettin through
    That without our help, your not getting anywhere soon
    Just sing this song, Ill give you the tune

    Now im here in this room.
    one on one, its me and you
    I tell you my story, you laugh
    Its not my fault you chose this path
    I stop you, I tell you the deepest thing i feel about you
    That is, That I really do love you.
     
  3. Unread #2 - Jan 28, 2009 at 10:44 PM
  4. Shredderbeam
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    Thanks, Brother.

    That was very touching.
     
  5. Unread #3 - Jan 28, 2009 at 10:53 PM
  6. rs nechryeal
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    Thanks, Brother.

    You put this on Punch and I have yet to read it. Once I have more time I'll post my thoughts on both
     
  7. Unread #4 - Jan 28, 2009 at 10:55 PM
  8. Solid tank
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    Thanks, Brother.

    Alright, thanks.
     
  9. Unread #5 - Jan 28, 2009 at 10:55 PM
  10. TJ
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    Thanks, Brother.

    I read it and everything, mind giving a little more..background on it?
     
  11. Unread #6 - Jan 28, 2009 at 10:57 PM
  12. FlubbyWubs
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    Thanks, Brother.

    Amazing.
    I really felt like crying, might sound like Im a wimp, but I don't give a shit.

    You have an unbelievable talent. This was THE MOST touching poem I have ever read.
     
  13. Unread #7 - Jan 28, 2009 at 11:00 PM
  14. BBallLegend
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    Thanks, Brother.

    thts very sweet brough tears 2 my eyes
     
  15. Unread #8 - Jan 28, 2009 at 11:00 PM
  16. Solid tank
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    Thanks, Brother.

    Wouldn't call it talent, like I said, I came home and it just came out of me. I haven't written any poetry before.
     
  17. Unread #9 - Jan 28, 2009 at 11:01 PM
  18. Rusty Napkin
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    Thanks, Brother.

    It was very touching tears almost came to my eyes.
    I really hope your brother get's his life straightened out before something goes terribly wrong.
    Best of luck to your brother and family.

    (Yes, that's me on punch.)
     
  19. Unread #10 - Jan 28, 2009 at 11:05 PM
  20. Benwise
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    Thanks, Brother.

    Woah, thats a sad story... Brought me to tears. Your ability to write is amazing. I was touched at how much you care about your brother...

    It's amazing.
     
  21. Unread #11 - Jan 28, 2009 at 11:08 PM
  22. Tgump
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    Thanks, Brother.

    Well done.
     
  23. Unread #12 - Jan 28, 2009 at 11:09 PM
  24. FlubbyWubs
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    Thanks, Brother.

    Well, regardless.

    Like you said it just came too you. Most people can't do that, no matter how much shit is going on in their life. Me for example, my life is NOT perfect, I've tried to write poems before, never could. You just gotta have it in you, and you do.

    Be that as it may, it really touched me. (again)

    Edit: Gump, your sig deserves a +10, just saying.
     
  25. Unread #13 - Jan 28, 2009 at 11:17 PM
  26. Benwise
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    Thanks, Brother.

    I think you should send this to him-if he is over seas, he might see things a different way and straigten his life out. This was seriously touching.
     
  27. Unread #14 - Jan 28, 2009 at 11:22 PM
  28. Solid tank
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    Thanks, Brother.

    He's not overseas anymore, he's in the room next to me. I think I might send it to him in a message on facebook, or leave it open on his laptop one day. I honestly don't know.
     
  29. Unread #15 - Jan 28, 2009 at 11:28 PM
  30. Christmas Crackers
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    Thanks, Brother.

    You have a really powerful story, which is why most people, including myself, believe this poem is great. However, I think you need to work on your writing skills because if you practice gettingr your emotions (which are obviously very strong) on paper using better diction, then your poem will be beyond great.
     
  31. Unread #16 - Jan 28, 2009 at 11:31 PM
  32. purpledrank3233
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    Thanks, Brother.

    That was a extremely good job of expressing your feeling through a poem. I personally suck at poems but your poem actually made me feel like i was you. Hope your brother gets better i have a screwed up brother in my house too. I might try to write a poem.
     
  33. Unread #17 - Jan 28, 2009 at 11:34 PM
  34. Jesse
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    Thanks, Brother.

    Very nice. Seems professional D:
     
  35. Unread #18 - Jan 28, 2009 at 11:35 PM
  36. Solid tank
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    Thanks, Brother.

    Any tips on how I could do that?
     
  37. Unread #19 - Jan 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
  38. EnlightenMe
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    Thanks, Brother.

    Sad.

    Nicely written though :(
     
  39. Unread #20 - Jan 29, 2009 at 12:11 AM
  40. K-3-V-1-N
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    Thanks, Brother.

    I wasn't really moved, but I guess it's good for you. Expressing yourself is never a bad thing.
     
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