Poem Analysis/Comparison!!

Well i have this assignment for college due tommorow night and i freaking hate poems so i figure there are alot of smart people here to help =]

i need a literary analysis / comparision on which is better

WHICH POEM IS BETTER AND WHY?

<--that is the question

Mu Ch’i’s Persimmons
by Gary Snyder

There is no remedy for satisfying hunger other than a painted rice cake.

—D&#333;gen, November, 1242.

On a back wall down the hall
lit by a side glass door
is the scroll of Mu Ch’i’s great

sumi painting, “Persimmons”
The wind-weights hanging from the

axles hold it still.
The best in the world, I say,

of persimmons.
Perfect statement of emptiness

no other than form
the twig and the stalk still on,

the way they sell them in the

market even now.

The original’s in Kyoto at a

lovely Rinzai temple where they

show it once a year

this one’s a perfect copy from Benrido

I chose the mounting elements myself

with the advice of the mounter

I hang it every fall.

And now, to these overripe persimmons

from Mike and Barbara’s orchard.

Napkin in hand,

I bend over the sink

suck the sweet orange goop

that’s how I like it

gripping a little twig

those painted persimmons

sure cure hunger
_________________________________________________________________
<-- compare thaT poem with the next one...

Names
by Marilyn Hacker

Be mindful of names. They’ll etch themselves; Specials; Windows; Birds; Sparrows; Names; Wings Be mindful of names. They’ll etch themselves

like daily specials on the window glass

in a delible medium. They’ll pass

transformed, erased, a cloud the wind dissolves

above the ruckus of the under-twelves

on the slide, the toddlers on the grass,

the ragged skinny guy taking a piss

in the bushes, a matron tanning her calves

on a bench, skirt tucked around her knees.

A sparrow lands in the japonica;

as if it were a signal, all at once

massed pigeons rush up from adjacent trees,

wingbeats intrusive and symphonic—a

near-total silence is the clear response.
_________________________________________________________________If someone could just get like a rough draft for me like a into+literary analysis of each and a conclusion that would be great =]

 

Well I'm not going to go into detail too much or anything but I would say the second poem is much easier to read as it flows better -from how I perceived it anyways- the first one seemed more like I was reading a dull book and just got boring.

So my choice is the second poem, but keep in mind that I am not a master at writing poetry. although I have had a bit of practice.

 

kk ty but i need someone to basically write one of the poems in english for me =]

 

Second one.

 

heh i realize the second one is easier to read but can anyone take line by line and tell me what each one means?

 

It's not that the second one is easier to read, it is just that it has a nicer flow to it.

and I think I misinterpreted what you wanted I thought you were simply asking which one was better. I am kinda busy with different minuscule tasks at the moment but as soon as I finish up I will see what I can do. do you want it exactly converted or just re written with the same topic\idea in mind?

 

um basically i need to analyize each both and say why one is better then the other...

but my problem isnt picking which one is better it's taking one of them and completly saying line for line what each line means..

so i mean if anyone could just do like some lines that would help out alot...

ex. "in line 4 of the poem names by hacker, he talks about blah blah blah. This blah perhaps means blah blah blah

 

anyone

 

Neither of them are good, but the 2nd one is > than the first.

 

Yeah i Agree, its just better...