Stuck

Update 12/04/2020, i think i finally closed this part of my life now!
Thank you for the replies!

 

Hey man, I've been through something simular. From the age of 18-22 I didn't do anything with my life, there were a bunch of reasons for that but the main reason was that I just gave up because I felt like everything I had been through was so unfair and put me at such a big disadventage in life.

Anyway, I was going to college, had a girlfriend that I had been with for almost 4 years and we were living together. I wasn't happy with any of it and couldn't commit to anything, the relationship got shittier every month, wasn't going to school anymore and was in a really bad place.

Right before things started getting better, I had hit my lowest point in life and completely lost it. About a week later I made the decision to let every negative thing go and started getting my shit together. I broke up with my girlfriend, cut off some 'friends' and moved back home. I don't know how or when it happened I just snapped out of it, that was 1.5 year ago.

Doing better now, wouldn't say I'm completely out of it but it's not all negative anymore and I started enjoying life again. I started looking at the bigger picture and just set small goals for myself one day at a time, there isn't much advice here but things will get better eventually. For me having the courage to let go of all the negativity in my life worked, but I don't know your situation.

If you want to talk sometime you can message me on Discord: Skeer.Graphics#6179

 

Thank you very much man! I am sure my situation is really similar to yours and the time period is the same as mine(even same age you was). I also thought that the only way to get out is also "letting the negativity go away" but i never had courage for that since my self esteem went really low - dont really have any tbf. i've tried changing but the low esteem and negativty stopped me really fast. Idk how to get out but knowning you had similar situation made my day better (lol). I feel alone with this mindset, people dont really get it when im talking about that.
Thank you!

 

Yo.

Have you thought about listening to motivation music i find it helps me alot especially if i am having a down day.

Tyson Fury motivational has a massive pick me up for me maybe you can try it let me know how you get on if you do.

 

@Rune_Dragon I know this is the type of advice you made clear you were not looking for, however, the reality is the only way to keep you from being anxious is to «have a break from yourself», makes sense? What I mean by that is to distance yourself from the negative factors that is keeping you in that state of mind.

If you have high hopes and you are pursuing something.
A) You succeed, life is great
B) Things didn’t go as planned, low self esteem and lack of motivation occours.
It sucks, I know. I am on my 4th year and I have failed an exam three times, however it only motivates me (I was not motivated the three other times I failed), I changed for the better and I believe that is because of what I’ll be sharing with you below.

You are not thinking rational, very typical in youths (Assuming ur not 27+ where ut brain is fully developed on avg) you need to set yourself small goals that are rational and not aim too high, once you accomplish the little things in life it will higher your self esteem and keep motivating you further, as it will obviously release dopamine.
If I understand you correctly, you are back at school. Key to motivation is to succeed and be good at what you are doing, you want to work in this field right? Then the only solution that comes to mind is for you to feel like you are mastering it. Short term goals, one baby step at the time.

Many have this illusion that they will disappoint everyone else if they don’t live up to their own goals, anxiety arise. However this «illusion» is a hoax. The only one you are letting down is yourself, which will also lower your self esteem.

What I am trying to say is that you should put your mind elsewhere, see things from a different perspective, a neutral standpoint if you will. Often people will tangle themselves up in things that is to none of their concerns, which is probably why you are feeling the way you do. Do not compare yourself to others. This is a «mature» mindset. I hope things works out, what you are going through is not very unusual, no need to feel otherwise.

You can dm me at any time.

 

Hey, thanks! I agree with you and also i think almost the same as you. Changing could be the only way. But when i ever tried that i just never could. I guess people can't understand this situation but when your self esteem is way too low you get a brand new mindset which is killing you slowly. You just can't even imagine it if you never experienced it. Even when i got professional help i always felt that my doctors never got the base of this mindset and never could help me really. It also comes from childhood, so i think this can't be changed anymore. So my only hope is what you've said aswell. But i don't know how. What do we call small steps? Waking up every single day, maybe going for a shopping or a party? If yes, im stuck, like i mentioned. My only hope is this school and the job(s) after for the change. If nothing happens i will give up for the rest of my life probably. Thanks again!

 

Have you tried the devils lettuce?
And keep working hard as you can
All we can do

 

Losing motivation has been a common theme in my life aswell. I think that I get distracted with things that I really do not care about, for example runescape.

The fact that I spend a lot of time on this game leads me to believe that I am doing so in order to avoid something else. Maybe you're in the same boat as me?

Try to re-evaluate your life, live in the moment, and figure out what you're doing wrong. What are you hiding from?

 

I can recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as a start. No for everyone but it's a step in the right direction. Talking is so important I can't stress it enough.

Exercise. Eat right. Get rest. The exercising doesn't necessarily have to be a hardcore gym workout. It can also be a long walk with a nice podcast in your ears

 

Honestly life is just about who you choose to surround yourself with.
Surrounding yourself with things like OSRS can be extremely toxic. I love a lot of you guys, but we all know that 90% of this community is toxic as fuck.
Find some friends you enjoy talking to. Not about Runescape, about other things in life.
Even if they're just e-friends you hop into Discord with, that's a step in the right direction.

 

My friend, if money is not an issue, buy yourself a one way ticket to Australia, Canada or some other decent country. Leave everything behind and go live your life for a few months. Work in different places + travel will change your life, trust me.
edit: the important part here is that you do it ALONE. You will come back a new man.

I have been where you are, but my solution was something way different and one that I wouldn't suggest to anyone