Poetry - Back In The Days - By: BetterDays

Title: Back In The Days
Written By: BetterDays

Back in the days, it was really chill
I fucked up alot but I didn't give up, I still made dollar bills
As a young teen, life was just a beginning
It felt to me like there would never be an ending
As I grew up, life for me didn't mean anything, nobody even cared
Fucking up in life was like falling down the stairs
You stand back up even though it hurts
Before you do it though, let out all the burst
But you don't wanna be the reason to break your mommas heart
You owe her a big apology and rewind back to the start
This poetry I'm writing, don't tell me you don't understand
If you gotta say what you gotta say, speak out like a man
Aha, I was just joking with the past 2 lines
Just wanted to have fun and have you read out another of mine

Rate it please, it was spoken straight from my mind.​

 

It seems more like a narrative story, more than a poem. If you want to make it a poem, you need to add more detail.

An example of a line would be:

Chilly, dark, wet. All of those elements stirred together brought a thunderous roar up my spine as I stepped out.

Well actually, that seemed a bit like a story, but that personification that was applied in that sentence. In poems, you want to let the reader know how you are feeling by expressing your feelings, since the reader doesn't know how you feel at all.

Basically, it's a bit too random.