Some Funny Quotes

I think these quotes are funny. If you dont, to bad....

"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up."

- Anonymous

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried"

- xx 1337 xx

"Don't do anything that could affect anything unless it turns out that you were really supposed to do it! Then by all means, don't not do it!"

- Professor Farnsworth

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

- Karma 5521

"Me Fail English? That Unpossible!"

- Ralph Wiggums


"Never Try... Never Fail!"

- Gaxx


"What goes around usually get's dizzy and falls over"

-Anonymous

"I wish my grass was emo. Then it would cut itself"

-Anonymous

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the risk?"

-Anonymous

"Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about"

-Anonymous


"I know you think you understand what I said, but what you heard was not what I meant.

-Anonymous

"I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

-Anonymous

"Who are you and how did you get in here!"
"I' a locksmith, and... I'm a locksmith..."

-Anonymous

The last one for today;

"If it isn't one thing, it's another, unless it's neither.

-Anonymous

Hope you enjoyed these, I will add more later on.

Edit: Added More!

 

Quote from Hamlet...
"what are you reading"
"words"

 

"If it isn't one thing, it's another, unless it's neither.
Really?

 

yeh really.

 

Umm heres a good one, not sure who from just heard it today though

"treat a girl like dirt, she'll stick to you like mud."

 

Yea these quotes are pretty funny but i find that "The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up." is pretty true. Its better to fail early then later when it is important.

 

Wow, those guys that made the quotes are hilarious.

 

"It's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on"

"Light travels are faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright, until you hear them speak."


Ahaha.

I don't know where these come from, I just had them in my head.

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried"

"Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it."

 

I liked this one:

"I didn't say it was your fault. I said i was going to blame you"

I'll have to use it some time lol.

 

"What the dickens!" - Shakespeare

 

Ahh... Futurama. Perhaps one of the greatest shows ever...

 

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils"

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

"Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped."

"Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway."

"You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!"

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'"

"Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest."

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

"Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer'."

Heh. My favorites =P
the last one is from Homer Simpson lol

 

"You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!" is a good one.

 

Heh, theres a whole site of these types of jokes. I can read em all day.

 

Liar!


http://www.coolfunnyquotes.com/funnyquotes2.shtml

There's the website you got all of them quotes from...

 

"Never Try.. Never Fail!"

-By Me

 

Quoted for ownage.

 

It was on a site that I just left

E: Even more recently:

 

Oh shit I just got owned. But anyhow, I heard most of these from school, so I claim them to be "mine" =P
But I give you props for owning me in the ass real hard. Now i feel like an idiot lol

 

Bout To Edit With Some Quotes From The Crowd