Oprah vs. Chuck Norris

How to read this for idiots who don't know text based gaming:

The name on the left is the person doing the action, and the hit points on the right are the hit points of the person they are doing the action against.

Hit Points Left
Person Attacking
Person Being Attacked
Notifications

Oprah uses 'over 9000 penises' ray on Chuck Norris doing 500 pts of damage. ??? hp left.
Chuck Norris round house kicks Oprah in the stomach doing 1,500 pts of damage. ??? hp left.
Oprah uses late night sitcom to put Chuck Norris to sleep for 2 rounds. ??? hp left.
Oprah uses 'several fans in cars she bought' ray on Chuck Norris doing 1,000 pts of damage. ??? hp left.
Oprah squats on Chuck Norris' head doing 5,000 pts of damage, and stunning him for a round. ??? hp left.
Chuck Norris wakes up, but is still stunned for a round. ??? hp left.
Oprah bear hugs Chuck Norris doing 1,000 pts of damage. ??? hp left.
Chuck Norris uses 'Beard Punch' on Oprah doing 1,000 pts of damage. ??? hp left.
Oprah gets liposuction and uses her old fat to form another Oprah. ??? hp left.
Chuck Norris turns super sayan for 3 turns, and kicks the head off of the new Oprah. ??? hp left & 0 hp left.
New Oprah has been defeated.
Oprah writes a book about how Chuck Norris is a complete failure taking 50% of his defense away. ??? hp left.
Chuck Norris begins telling Chuck Norris jokes to Oprah causing her to be interested and unable to attack for 5 rounds. ??? hp left.
Chuck Norris and all of the other Texas Rangers point and shoot at Oprah causing 5,000 damage each. 150,000 hp left.
Chuck Norris puts his seed inside of Oprah's Womb causing 50,000 pts of damage, and follows it with some miracle Grow. Oprah is now pregnant and growing fast. 100,000 hp left.
Chuck Norris ties Oprah up in stirrups. 100,000 hp left.
Chuck Norris calls the entire 4chan database to come to the battle grounds. 100,000 hp left.
Chuck Norris sets up a television show to watch the birth of his child live. 100,000 hp left.
Oprah wakes up in a stunned state, and begins screaming incoherently about over 9000 penises. ??? hp left.
Oprah is pregnant for 1 more round.
Chuck Norris passes his turn to 4chan. 100,000 hp left.
4chan begins trolling Oprah into saying random things, causing her to go insane. -50% spirit. 100,000 hp left.
Oprah begins shaking violently, and from her stomach explodes a baby Chuck Norris, beard and all. The birth caused 99,999 pts of damage. ??? hp left.
Chuck Norris passes his turn to 4chan. 1 hp left.
4chan spreads a rumor that Oprah has been shot causing 1 million points of virtual damage.0 hp left.
Oprah has been defeated.
Chuck Norris and 4chan are declared victors.


Spoils:
$1 billion estate and fortune.
1,000,000,000,000 exp gained.

Chuck Norris has gained a level!

Chuck Norris has learned a new joke:

Q: "What do you get when Chuck Norris fights Oprah?"

A: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight Oprah, he wins."

 

I just lol'd in my pants.

 

I LOL'D​

 

Got the idea from me?

 

z0mglulz.

 

I LOL'D​

 

Mmmmm Chuck norris doesn't go hunting, hunting implies there could be failure. Chuck norris goes killing.

 

I LOL'D​

 

I DIDN'T LOL
​

 

I LOL'D​

 

I DIDN'T LOL EITHER. ​

 

why are you posting

 

fuck off pls​

 

It took me like 20 minutes to write that >.>

 

I LOL'D​

 

I LOL'D​

[/QUOTE]

 

olol.

 

jesus, oprah should'a pwned chuck, dummy didn't use "give away"

 

lol fun

 

I LOL'D​