The guys guide to girls and more!

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[GUIDE] The guys guide to everything (Girls, Sex, hygiene ETC...) [GUIDE]


Editing history:
04/08 - Babies section
04/08 - Working on sex positions section
04/08 - More positions added
04/08 - Adding more info to make sex better


Still to come:
- Bullying and how to cope with it
- How to deal with being rejected
- More on babies
- How to write CV's and other documents like that
- Perhaps a bit on your.. you know.. errm.. *dong*
- More pictures
- More videos
- More links

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Tom’s guide to girls, for guys.

This guide is for the attention of 13-16 year olds, if you are younger then that, get off the forum, if you are older than that, you already know what I am going to say.

Lets face it, as you enter your teens, girls just become more and more interesting, in primary school girls are just “dirt”, “eww a girl run…”, but there are in-depth psychological reasons to why you are defensive against girls at that time, and a summary of that is you are too young to get involved with girls.

Puberty can be tricky, it is the realization of sexual desires and girls are always the path to gratification of such, so in this guide I am going to cover everything about girls, from how to tell if they like you, to coping with meeting the parents.

Contents
1 How to tell if they like you
2 How to act around a girl (First encounter and First date)
3 How to arrange a date
4 How to be appealing to a girl
5 How to have good hygiene
6 How to stop looking at the melons!
7 How to kiss, French style
8 How to hug, romantically
9 Foreword

How to tell if they like you

Girls can be hard to understand, and telling if they do have feelings for you can be tricky, however there are always tips to tell, but before I tell you what to look for, I am going to describe the 2 ways In which girls try and single handedly demonstrate they have something for you:
1. The jealous approach – This is where the girl will flirt with your friends to try and grab your attention, she will occasionally look at you and not pay attention to your friend, she wants to speak to you!
2. The assistance approach – This is the most commonly used technique by girls, it is similar to the jealous approach in that she is trying to get your attention, the difference is that the assistance approach is less spiteful. She will do this by either putting on a melodramatic tone and complaining about something she cannot do, like lift a box, or move a table. Alternatively you could perhaps be in the cold, and you hear a sweet voice coming from near by saying “it’s very cold”, you should respond to this by walking over and presenting your jacket or coat for her to wear, girls like this a lot and it help tell if you are the guy for them.

As promised, I will now move onto the signs that they have something for you.
• Look out for if there face brightens up to the sound of your name, for example in a school register.
• If they touch you more then anyone else, not in a sexual way :\ just like touching your arm commenting on, “that scar”
• Either if she stares at you for a long time and then just randomly looks at something else, or if she looks and you, and the moment you look at her she looks away, both are good
• Look at her friends, if they are always looking at you and pointing at you with your crush in the middle of all of them then it’s a definite sign!
• If she is ‘fishing’ to see if she meets your characteristics, by this she will ask what you look for in a girl, this means she is seeing if she suits you, if you want her, lie and describe almost everything about her.
• “I love ?” The best sign, girls write it on books, jumpers, hands, arms, legs, faces, and visually imagine you drawing it on them too, its even better, and obvious when she writes “I love X” (x = girls name) on your hand.

However… be careful, make sure your not a ‘pawn’ in her plan to make an ex jealous, if she has recently left a relationship and is arguing constantly with the other half, tread carefully, because when it comes to the ex, girls will manipulate anyone they can to seem more powerful.

How to act around a girl (first encounter)

Be yourself!!! If you do enter a Long term relationship you cant play Mr. Nice for a couple of months when your really Mr. Juvenile, however saying that it is good to leave a first impression, here are a few survival tips:
• It is common that a group of girls will call you over if one of there friends has a crush for you, this is dangerous territory, 10 girls vs 1 guy = embarrassment, shame and self-denial. What I suggest is bring a confident best mate to give you security.
• Don’t be shy! On your first encounter ask about: Music; Films; Clothing; Mates; Family; TV shows. If you don’t talk, and she doesn’t either then what’s the point?
• Make eye contact, do not look at the sky, or the floor, or out the window… or a certain other place that belongs to girls which I will describe later on.
• Make her laugh, because laughing is a language we all understand, and she will then associate you with happiness, that’s what you want, but… do not crack a mans joke that takes the mick out of women, do a neutral joke, for some great jokes click here, make sure they are clean!
• Say she is beautiful - not hot, say she is cute – not sexy, keep those words for when she knows you more… and you know her
• Don’t be offensive towards anyone, don’t swear and don’t tell her you’re a drug addict or anything bad like that.

How to act around a girl (first date)

Congrats if stage 1 worked, but this one is more complicated, to find more about dates keep reading my guide. The same rules apply from the first encounter, however you have some more actions she should allow you to perform, but take it slow, this is not a guide on how to get laid, this is a guide on how to get hugged…
• Smile, as much as you can, don’t make it cheesy… just when she smiles return it.
• Make her feel special, Did anyone ever tell you that you have an amazing smile?".
• On your first date, it is best to either wait till the second date to do any physical contact like hugging or kissing, that’s of cause unless she wants you to, if she leans over towards you, you go half way too, more on how to kiss further in the guide.

How to arrange a date

This can be the most tricky part about kick starting a relationship, in your first encounter you should have worked out what she likes, you can perhaps go to the cinema, just the two of you, or go on a stroll around the park, for your first date don’t make it too romantic. Text her or message her on MSN saying your bored, if she says im bored too she wants to do something, say want to come out, and arrange it from there.
NO means NO, if she does not want to come out do not force her, she thinks your going too fast so slow the pace.

How to be appealing to a girl

You're a guy, and you want to be sexy. A guy that's sexy has a better chance of getting what he wants (especially girls!) in life.

• Do not change your dress sense to match hers, wear something unique that is “you”, I always wear my drunken munky jumper under my firetrap jumper, it’s a great look, and girls love it.
• Take a shower before any time you meet her, use lynx shower gels if she seems like quite a party girl, if she seems sweet and innocent use any form of fruit based shower gel.
• Spend along time on your hair, decide do you use gel, or none, flat or spikey, more guides on doing your hair can be found here
• Keep your hygiene at top level, more info on hygiene further down the guide
• Wear a good after shave, not something dark and red borrowed off your granddad, use a fresh new one, I love Burberry (im not a chav!).

Make sure you have all the following to assist you:
• Shampoo
• Comb
• Deodorant
• Toothbrush
• Floss
• Soap
• Niceness
• A smile
• clean clothes
• confidence
• nice pair of denim

How to have good hygiene

No one likes a sweaty greasy guy around, so its important to say hi to jean and improve your hygiene.
1. Shower every day with shampoo and conditioner. Remember to also wash yourself with soap. It's important to be clean.
2. Shave! You will look more clean-cut if you shave every day, and make sure you don't have any long hairs on your neck that you missed.
3. Make sure to clean and clip your fingernails whenever they start getting white ends. Girls especially will notice if you have long, dirty nails. This counts for toenails, too.
4. Use deodorant to prevent armpit odor.
5. Brush your teeth and floss them after every meal, or at least two times a day. They will look much cleaner.
6. Whiten your teeth. They will be much more attractive and it will bring your confidence level up.
7. Wash your face every day with face cleansers to prevent acne. One of the top brands is Cetaphil.
8. Wear socks when you wear shoes. Each foot sweats half a pint a day, so your shoes will smell pretty bad if you don't.
9. Put lotion on to prevent your skin from becoming dry.
10. Comb your hair. It will keep it nice and tidy, and it will also get all the knots out.

How to meet the parents

This can be embarrassing, hard and tricky to maneuver, once you get the parents respect the girl is 100% yours, without the honor of that and the girl is 100% yours is you fancy a restraining order and a black eye off the dad, and because of that, it is good you have this to perfection. Below is the step by step guide on how to get ready, and how to perform it.

1. Do your homework about the parents- striking up a convocation about football when there house is a shrine to rugby can be a bad move, so it is best to consult your girlfriend about what they like, some example questions are… what sports do they like, who did they vote for or how old are they.

2. Wear smart casual- Not too casual, nor too smart, something in the middle will do just fine, if you are going to a party make sure you ask your girlfriend what the dress code is if you don’t already know it. It cannot hurt to spend some money on a good set of clothes.

NO

YES
3. Be punctual- Make sure you arrive on time, imagine it like an interview
4. Be confident- For all you know they are as insecure as you are
5. Strike a good convocation- Make sure it is around the topics you learned about for your homework
6. Be prince charming- Display to her parents that you care for her, wipe up food from her face, tuck in her chair, help her wash the pots, this demonstrates you will be a good husband and dad

7. Get ready for the hot seat- They will always try and get answers, the moment your girl friend is not in the room they turn into animals, they ask about education, other girl friends, drugs, housing it is hard!

8. Make the final impression- As you leave the house, DO NOT LOOK BACK, you know they will be looking at you, if you have a car open her door first, close it, and go!

Lets hope you came out ontop of that, a day or two ask your girlfriend if they have been talking about you, if she says no it could be bad, if yes, and she says they have been talking highly of you, then the girl is yours!

----------------13+ year olds only----------------
Everything about sex and intimate relationships (sub guide)
Please note, education of safe sex does not in any way relate to pornography, if an admin, moderator, user educator or anyone infact feels personally offended by what is going to be covered in the following section or believes that it is conflicting with the rules, I advise you to read the rules again. It is safer to receive information off an anonymous internet domain that is moderated, then off an un-safe website that lacks up to date information, any problems PM me.

Sex is only advised for responsible teenagers, in the UK the law is 16+, of cause no one listens to that… I’m not promoting you to break the law, I’m telling you that when it’s the right situation, it just happens. But that ‘it’ needs to be protected, you need to be educated on how to perform safe sex because if you don’t wear a helmet, you can get an STI or even worse you could get knocked up (baby). I always say, have sex when you are both ready, make sure its in a private place and always make sure you have a condom on you​

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How to stop looking at the boobs!

Yes, we all know girls have them, and yes at any point you will try and grab a glance, but don’t.. it is considered rude and pervy, there will be plenty of chances in future life to get more then that!

​

And, if you think about them too long, very bad things can happen, like a certain amount of blood going to a certain body part, although your school desk may hide an erection, when all you have been thinking about for the entire lesson is boobs your trousers will show a certain bump in-between your trousers, and that is embarrassing!

Ok, so here are a few tips to how and avoid looking at them or thinking of them
1. Make eye contact, even if she looks up and you go for a quick glance she could see, and you might become mesmerized by the size of them, and just stare.. very bad
2. If you really, really need to, take a really quick glance while she is yawning, or leaning to pick something up, at least you will have some gratification, I find the cinema the best place
3. Talk to her about anything—movies, school, current events, anything that at least partially distracts you from her boobs.
4. You can also talk about her shoes, earrings, and so forth, but not too much, or she might think you're gay.

How to kiss, French style

French kissing, if it is your first time it can be daunting, it does get better with experience but to some the idea of tongues in each other mouths is just weird. But my golden rule is to not think about it and just let it happen, look at these girls below getting right into it for an example of how its performed


Before you read this, it is always important she goes first, or begins the process, let her make the step not you.
1. Keep your lips wet, not creepy wet, just moist, so it is easier to kiss
2. Wait for her to move forward, then tilt your head slightly so it is easier for your lips to touch

3. Half was into the approach, close your eyes… but don’t worry, you will still be kissing a girl I am sure a mule wont appear from no where and but in her place.
4. Don’t rush into tongues, begin with a closed mouth kiss and gradually open your mouth as she does too, if she stops and closed her mouth do the same, you don’t want to freak her out.
5. Now the moment of truth, if this is your first kiss, it can be tricky, teeth can crunch together, and to some the whole tongue in mouth idea is weird, but if you do it, and you like the kiss, explore with your tongue lightly placing yours against hers, if she likes it, she will do more.

6. Don’t French kiss if you are limited with time, some girls say the kiss is what defines the guy, so take it slow and enjoy it!
7. Don’t die through suffication, remember to breath!
8. Use your hands, when kissing the womans hands are commonly around the guys neck, and the guy has his hands around her waist.

9. If you didn’t like it, be open and tell your partner!
10. Do NOT under any circumstances think that this means she wants sex, that is her decision and there are more signs to suggest that.

How to hug, romantically

Hugging is key in any relationship, it builds trust and protection, and the perfect hug can leave a great impression. Follow my tips on how to make her feel loved, adored and cute in a simple wrap of your hands.

Hugging is split into two type
Romantic, loving hug (Situations where love is flying)
-And-
Reassuring, affectionate hug (When she is feeling sad)

Pick which one is appropriate and follow the below tips
Romantic hug-
• Pick the right situation, like in a park or on a cliff at sun set.
• Look at her in the eyes, and say “I love you”.
• Approach her, and stop half way, if she leans forward then hold out yours arms.
• For most relationships, the guy wraps around the waist, and the girl around the neck.
• Hold tight, kiss her cheek or neck, keep it there for a long time.

Reassuring hug-
• If she is crying, reassure her that you care by crying as well, if you cant then don't fake cry, it will just look like you don't care.
• Hug her around the waist, and say to her “its going to be all right”.
• Keep it there until she stops crying, then loosen the hug, kiss her, and wait for her to respond.

Contraception

Contraception is the way we protect ourselves from fluid being transferred, there are 10 nationally recognized ways, however I will only show the ones which will applicate to your age group the most popular method used by women is the pill, and for the men it is the condom, all key words will be explained later. Below is a graph showing the success rate of each method, click on the names to be taken to a website for more information on them.

The Pill Almost 100 per cent- http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/contraceptivepills.htm
Male condom 90 to 98 per cent - http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/condoms.htm
Withdrawal method Very low -http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/coitusinterruptus.htm

Below is the popularity of each method
The Pill 24 per cent - http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/contraceptivepills.htm
Male condom 21 per cent - http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/condoms.htm
Withdrawal method 4 per cent - http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/coitusinterruptus.htm

The pill

This is the most popular and most successful method, there are more than 100 million women world wide who use this form of contraception, and although it is more available to adults girls can be prescribed it from there family planning clinic.

The pill works by tricking the female body into believing it is having a baby, this means she will stop releasing the egg, and thus fertilization cannot occur, but do not be fooled, you should always use a condom until you are both checked and clear from STI’s.

The condom

There are 2 forms of the condom, the male and female kind, we will just cover the male one, if you want more information on the female condom it can be found on the link in the table.

Condoms are most popular for teens because they are easily accessible, and require no official help from a doctor or GP, they are basically a sock made of latex you apply over your penis, there are thousands of different sizes, fits, shapes, colors and even flavors, they can be purchased from most toilets for £2, and can be obtained for free at your doctors but if you are going to be using a condom for the first time on a girl who has never had sex, don’t go straight for the apple crocodile, use plain old clear Johnny.

There is problems with using a condom though, that can cause some of your semen to enter the vagina, these are:
• Not applying the condom before intercourse
• If the condom splits (use lubricants covered in another section)
• If you use the wrong kind of lubricant



Withdrawal

This is NOT safe, it is where pre-ejaculation the man removes his penis and just continues to masturbate until an orgasm is reached, this does NOT stop you from getting her pregnant, you could premature ejaculate, it also rapidly increases your chances of getting an STI.

The baby



A little bundle of love, right? NO!
If you are reading this, i hope for your sakes its just for future reference, if you need the information quickly then good luck to you, because kids destroy EVERYTHING. There is a reason that the minimum age in the UK to have sex is 16, that is because you leave school at that age and you are deemed fit enough and mentally stable enough to look after a child. If you have had sex, and something went wrong like to condom split, or perhaps you just didn't wear protection, and you are too young to have a child, both you and your GF go to a family planning clinic the day after you had sex and ask about a morning after pill, this will just flush out the baby while it is the size of half a pin prick. If you did not know that something did go wrong, there are ways for the girl to know that she is pregnant, there are also ways to test, always remember if you are in ANY doubt you should go with your partner to your doctor, GP or family planning clinic, they are 100% confidential and your parents DO NOT need to know about ANYTHING. The signs for girls:
• Missed period
• Short, scant period
• Sore, tender or swollen breasts
• Nausea and/or vomiting
• Fatigue
• Frequent urge to urinate
• Mood swings

If she does show any of the above, go straight to your local health store with her and purchase 2 ( for a more fair test ) pregnancy tests, and just follow the instructions. If the bad news is clear, then there are a few options you need to choose from:
1. Have the baby and take care of it.
2. Have the baby and place the baby up for adoption.
3. Have the baby and have a foster parent care for it for a short time.
4. Have the baby and live with her parents.
5. Have an abortion (done by a doctor).

It is best to plan ahead, for more advice see your family planning clinic, but remember, if you do choose to go ahead with pregnancy and you are still in education, this could scar your chances of a better future, this is a decision i will not advise you on, it is something you both need to consult about.



How to increase the experience

Sex is a great thing, and for some it is the most excited they will ever be, but there are ways of making sex much, much better, and that is lubricants. Lubricants, or lube, are liquids that reduce friction and allow for great sensations.

There are problems associated with lubricants, one is allergic reactions, but the worse is when you mix oil based lubricants with condoms, this causes holes in poor old Johnny and means that your sperm can get through, always use water based lubricants in safe sex.

International brands and companies like Durex are now expanding there product ranges into producing toys and objects you use in sex, Durex are now not only the best condom suppliers but there toys kick ass, check out some of the things for sale, if you want to see more information about the products click on the images (please note the quotes are taken off the offical durex site"

Play heat- "Sensitivity is heightened when you use Play Heat. Try it - you’ll certainly warm to it."


Play feel- "A classic water-based lube that anyone can use."


Play ultra- "Ultra vibrating ring to be worn by the man to bring you both intense pleasure."




Another way you can make sex better, is by experimenting with new positions, below there are a pictures i got off the FHM website, please note that the pictures below contain sexual references, if you needed me to say that you seriously need to get off this forum.

The butterfly:
Pleasure = 5 STARS
Difficulty = 5 STARS
Opinion = "Girls love being ontop"
Perfect for = Letting her take control while you lie back and admire the majesty of breasts in motion
Tip = Slow at first and build up pressure



Classic doggie:
Pleasure = 5 STARS
Difficulty = 1 STAR
Opinion = "Being taken from behind is one of the bets things a girl can experience in the sack"
Perfect for = Maximum penetration
Tip = Spanking is great in this position



Classic 69:
Pleasure = 5 STARS
Difficulty = 4 STAR
Opinion = "Classic and still as dirty, allows instant oral orgasms"
Perfect for = Oral pleasuring
Tip = Spell sexy words using the letters of the alphabet with your tongue











That is the guide up to now, but I will appreciate any suggestions or comments, please don’t spam me with offences, because they will be reported and ignored, for some people this guide is important, and I spent a very long time writing it.

Much appreciated
-TB93 xx

 

I feel that you've written this guide with experience compared to most people that right theses types of guides with no qualifications.

Nice guide.

 

Well, it sure is long . But I just want to point out, when it's finally time to kiss the girl your dating, or the girl you like, don't think about it to much, just make it natural and slow. If you get all paranoid and start worrying about it, there is a pretty good chance that you are going to be fucked.

 

Good point, I think tb should add that to the guide, as a percaution. Otherwise, good guide - Should be this length, and NICE video :laugh: .

7/10

 

This is teh interwebz wat is a gurl?

lol jk nice guide


Edit:

^ Those conflict with eachother lol.

wat??

 

I needed This guide

 

Don't lie. Good guide 9.9999/10.

 

Grat guide. you took alot of time into it.

 

Looks like you put a lot of time into this, kudos to that, but I already have a gf .

 

Well, i did say i am still writing it:
-How to cope with meeting the parents
-How to come out on top of arguments
-How to explain why another girl is in your house
-How to have safe sex (admin/mod permission first)
-How to deal with a baby
-How to get over a break up

..And other guides that could be linked together to create the guys guide to everything is...
-How to write CV's
-How to get into underage employment
-Extended guide on hygiene
-How to cope with bullying

 

New pictures added.
New sections added.
Big space between age restriction sections.

 

*Even bigger space between age restrictions*

 

wow great guide when i read this i already had a gf but second half of guide was awesome and helped a lot

 

Thats great, thanks dude xx
-TB93

 

*Even more pictures added*

 

This is a very nice guide =] I think the kissing guide was the best part.. 9/10

 

Thanks mate, you just like it because of the video
I'm currently on my laptop playing the ps3 so no updates for a while,i will reply to posts though.
-TB93

 

haha your exactly right =] but everything else in the guide is also very well done .

 

Well, according to some other people "i got someone else to write it", thats coming from the person who wrote the rip guide to me, his how to get a girl or some other title like that.
-TB93

 

*added 'the baby' section*