Why People Do Things.

Wow I thought this was in the archives. Whats on the first page isn't completely accurate in some situations.

The three reasons why people do things are accurate:
1. Entertainment
2. Importance
3. To not be in pain

Using this what do we want out of people? I believe there's three things.
1. Friends
2. Popularity
3. GF/BF

I also think how to identify peoples personality and how there physical traits affect there personality. People who are tall/short strong/weak attractive/unattractive ect. often have similar personality traits because of the way people treat them from there physical appearance.

Dale Carnegie's book talks about friendship and how to make friends. These techniques could definitely be helpful in becoming popular and with the opposite sex but it's often much more affective to do other things.


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Making friends generally:

Well lately I've been doing a whole lot of thinking/research, and I think I came up with some interesting stuff. My goal is to find out what is the best thing to say and do in every situation. There's unlimited things you can say and do but I want to find out the best things. I'm posting though because there's a lot of things to think about and the more opinions there are the better.

Here's some things that work

Never judge people.
Don't ever insult people. The definition of a person in this case is what the person is or owns. Don't insult ones possessions, there intelligence, there way of thinking, there opinions, or there friends.

What’s done it done.
If something gets screwed up don’t yell at anyone it’s not going to change anything all it will do is vent your anger while making the other person dislike you.

People care about themselves.
People care about what themselves and what they want to talk about 100 times more than what you have to say. So encourage them to talk about themselves ask them questions they want to answer and become genuinely interested in them. After that anyone will like you and when you become interested in someone they will become interested in you.

Arguing never solves anything.
When you argue people get defensive and backup what they say. When someone says something they put all of there pride into it if you yell at them and tell them there wrong how can you expect them to change there mind? There self-esteem rests in what they say. If you insult there ideas or opinion you insult them. Instead make it easy to change there mind talk nicely and make it seem like that it is logical to think what they have said.

Don’t criticize
If you think someone does something stupid don’t mention it. If you criticize someone they will automatically tune you out they will think you’re wrong. But if need to change someone’s ways compliment them say what you like about what they do and they will do a better job at whatever.

Persuading
Often when people try to persuade someone they think. “What do I want” when they should be think “What does the person want”. Like if your trying to sell something think of why the person would want it not what you want you just want to sell it.

When you’re wrong admit it early and enthusiastically
We have all been wrong and we will surly be wrong another time. Admit when you’re wrong as early as possible. If we were right even 55% of the time we could make a million dollars on wall street everyday.

Smile
Smiling makes everything more friendlily. If you’re not smiling then people may think your in a bad mood and make you less approachable. Smiles are welcoming and say that I enjoy your presence.

Agree and exaggerate
Whenever possible agree with people and say yes, then exagerate be more exited about what the person said than how the person originally said it. Like if someone says "Do you want to come over?" you should say something like "Yes, I'm really bored now I really want to come over!". This technique is often used in jokes; if someone says a joke it is there joke there dignity, if you add to it and make it funnier they will laugh because they are thinking you are funny because "This was my joke orginally and you made it more better so you are making me feel more important.". Your funniest joke is the one that isen't yours.

When offered something accept it.
Sometimes we say no to things just to be polite, but most of the time its more polite just to say yes because the person offered it to you because they wants the feeling of importance that they will get from giving you somethine. Just make sure you say thank-you and you appreciate it.

Parents
I think I figured out something, parents care extremely little about what you do as long as they feel that they are in control. Often parents will tell you to do stuff like a chour that is unreasonable just so that they feel important, when they do this say yes and do it even if it they want you to do something that could be done a lot easier another way just do it the way they say and make sure you don't act angry or say anything bad just say yes and do it. Doing this you parents will get no feeling of importance you didnt argue or complain. And the next time they ask you to do something you can be sure its going to be much easier.

Making fun
If someone makes fun of you don’t take it seriously. Think are they doing it because they hate you or just because it’s funny. Most of the time it’s just because it’s funny and if you think about it most of the jokes are funny if you laugh with you won’t be laughed against. But on the other hand people will sometimes do it just to be a jerk. When this happens dont yell at them or show much emotion. Lets say someone makes fun of your name. Just look at them with the most serios face (but not angry face), and say don't ever call me that, and you can be sure that they won't ever do it again.





Here's some things I'm still thinking about

Why do people do things:

People do things for three reasons and three reasons only, to be entertained, to have a feeling of importance, and to not feel pain.




How do people get there feeling of importance and how do you give the feeling of importance?


As a general rule to make people feel important by going along with what they are doing, ask them questions about themselves and become interested in the other person.

Different people will get there feeling of importance in different ways. Here are some examples on how people get there importance and how to give it to them.

Being nice- When they do something nice give them sincere appreciation.

Being an expert in a subject- Ask them questions and become almost jealous of them.

Feeling sorry for themselves- Give them sympathy, make it seem like there problems are worth feeling bad about.

Making people angry- You don't want to become angry yourself so make sure that they get no importance this way, let them find another way of importance and then make them feel important.

Feeling in charge- Let them be in charge give them control and make it seem like there making a diffrence. Give them small hints into what you really want done.

Talking about themselves- Let them, and become interested in what they say.



How are people entertained?

Entertainment is given by the five senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch.

I feel the best way to entertain people is to say or do something that will make the person feel important. Lets say someone says a joke, you should add to the joke being entertaining because they will get a feeling of importance because it was there joke. Now let's say someone wants to go somewhere you should say yes really happily really want to do what they want to do and say what was good about what they said. That is the best way to give out entertaiment: Happily do whatever the person wants to do.




What do people prefer entertainment or the feeling of importance, by how much and does this vary from person to person?

This question I can't figure out the answer to. But I've thought when someone hears a joke they are entertained but for the person who tell the joke they feel important.



Do some thinking and tell me what ya think

 

People do things, because they want to do it.

 

And why do they want to do it?

 

People do things to get things done. It's actually quite simple; not that much thought is needed.

However, the answer to your last question is: it varies from person to person. This depends on a person's personality and attitude. When someone tells a joke and makes someone laugh, that person who said the joke doesn't feel important. He merely feels like he's a funny person, which makes him an enjoyable person to be around; therefore making him have more friends.

 

Yes people do do things to get things done, but I wish to really go deep into this and I have already seen benefits in my own life. I want to figure out how people work and what is the best way I can act around them.

Hmm... A person tells a joke to be funny, and why does a person want to be funny because they enjoy entertaining people and they want more friends. Your right. But if we broke this down further why would a person want to be funny and have friends? For the feeling of importance I believe.

But would you agree that people only do things for the only reasons of feeling important and/or being entertained on the simplest level?

 

To get a reaction, Or they just wanna.

 

Sometimes people do things just out of necessity, when it does not matter whether they feel important or entertained.

Yeah I didn't get the feeling you were out to prove anything.

 

The answer they just wana or to get a reaction doesn't satisfy me.

do you agree with this?:
People do things for two reasons and two reasons only, to be entertained and/or to have a feeling of importance.

Necessity? please explain

 

If it is survival a person will do something just to survive, not for feelings.

 

Like breathing.

 

Yeah, this being one of the most basic acts.

 

Hmm you make a point. People do things to not feel pain or die.

Do you think there's any other reasons why someone would do something other than: For a feeling of importance, to be entertained, or to not feel pain?

 

I don't know I will try to think of more, but that is a good question.

 

Eating? You won't necessarily feel 'pain' if you don't eat...

 

hehe ya these things take time. But I'm glad I can discuss it with people now, and we'll come to a conclusion.

Well if you eat you might be doing it for entertainment. But if your not doing it for entertainment then you would be doing it to not feel pain or else I don't think you would eat.

 

Just to do things. Are you really going to just sit there and only move when you must? (i.e. eat/drink/sleep/defecate/etc.)

 

Doing things just to do things is a form of entertainment.

 

One needs exercise to be healthy. Although exercise may contain sports, it is also a necessity.

 

Ya you seem to have a good understanding of this.

hmm I think I would consider it a mix of importance and to not feel pain.

For importance knowing that he can support his family.

And the emotional pain he would get if he saw his family go hungry and homeless.

Yeah you would want to be healthy so you wouldn't feel pain. A sport keeps you healthy so you won't feel pain and its also entertainment.

 

Well wtp, all that was needed to prove your theory that states "people do things for entertainment or feelings of importance", was one way to prove it wrong. We already did that (Giddy and I). So that's outta there. Besides, there isn't much more to argue. You answered your own questions, everything else is basic and correct. The only reason you have to be entertained through your five sense is because that's the only way you can react to the things around and inform yourself that things are going on. Without them, you'd basically be dead.