Betrayal at Falador

First time hear about "T.S.Church" but about book, there is place there you can get all for free, starting from books and finishing programs, just need to know. Well no warez since rules disallow.

 

dun buy the book. my penpal fren bought it and he said that book is full of nerdy content. the story is fucked up. i hope he can send me some screenshots of some chapters of the book and let me criticise it. i rather buy a WoW manual guide than this book.

 

hahaha id love to see what happens when your friend walks in on u reading a runescape book... u would get the shit beaten outa you for being such a nerd

 

hahaha so true, seriously if i bought this book i would hide it from everyone wayy more than ANYTHING i hid from my parents in high school

 

pretty gay lol.

 

i like to fap :love:

 

Just another money grubbing method used by jagex so andrew can pay his hookers

 

I can see a RS nerd transforming this thing to an ebook & seeding it, lol...

 

i know nike i think it cant be that bad its about runescape...

 

You do realize that Jagex owns the rights to the account 'Zezima' and can fabricate whatever quote they want to.

"You agree that all intellectual property or other rights in any game character, account and items are and will remain our property." - Jagex Terms and Conditions

 

Damn, that's pretty big for zezima that he has a quote on the back, forreal.

He's almost fucking more known than the game itself

 

wow great job jagex realesing a shitty book and if you go to there funds theyve probley lost £1,000,000-£10,000,000/$2,000,000-$20,000,000 by now.

 

Jagex will make loads of this.

 

^ i agree i think that they will make alot of money off of it just because its about runescape

 

They certainly will receive quite a large amount of income from this book but I don't think that it will be worth reading at all, just look at the author... =|

 

Yeh guys it sounds interesting but I don't realy know if it worth it. We'll see

 

Quoted from mrsaturnboing (aka Redmage Foxx):

"IMPORTANT NOTE: IF YOU HAVE THIS BOOK DO NOT READ IT. YOU WILL SEE WHY IN DUE TIME. DO NOT READ THIS BOOK, I REPEAT. IT IS VERY DANGEROUS

We've never heard of this guy, yet a Runescape book is written by him? Isn't it odd that a book on such a seldom advertised game is released by a person, possibly a member of Jagex staff, was released so suddenly? He's no member of Jagex staff.

You see, through my research I have uncovered startling evidence that reveals the true identity of Mr. T. S. Church. It is well-known that authors will sometimes use a pen name or an alias and have this name displayed as the author of the book. Church, however, was using this to conceal who (or what) he really was. I didn't discover this until later, though. I interviewed Andrew Gower about the book, asking only meaningless questions about the contents and how it tied in with the game, then I popped the REAL question I had been waiting to ask him:

"Exactly WHO IS Mr. Church?"

He looked startled by the question. I suppose he didn't think anyone would care about who wrote a book on Runescape of all things. He fidgeted around and refused to answer the question. He only told me that no one from Jagex staff had any personal contact with Church and only spoke to him on the phone about the progress of the book. The book was delivered directly to Gower in the mail, and Church's payment was sent to the return address.

Suspicious, no? What could Church be hiding from Jagex? What could possibly be so wrong with his identity that he refused to show his face to Andrew? I was not allowed to obtain the return address, so I have no idea where he resides. Only a handful of Jagex employees know the location. I began to investigate, searching the internet and checking census offices for a T. S. Church. The census has nothing on him, and these are the only two things I could find out:

http://runescape.wikia.com/wiki/T._S._Church

There's no information about him. No biography, picture, or anything. Shady, huh?

http://atvb.ahajournals.org/cgi/content/abstract/atvbaha;22/11/1869

This is a selection I picked out of a few similar pages relating to the same thing. Why would he be interested in contributing to an article about cardiorespiratory fitness? Also notice that this is completely unrelated to Runescape, so we can assume Mr. Church didn't have much purpose to write the book on what I assumed was personal interest at the time.

It was around this time that I realized the lack of information on his name could only mean one thing: T.S. Church was a pen name. Why T. S. Church? Perhaps he was a religious man? So religious that he couldn't show his face in public? Jesus, maybe? I marked that down as a possibility. There was one thing I could try: anagrams. What if he made an anagram of his real name for his alias? I got to work, manually scrambling the letters up in every possible combination on several sheets of paper. Searching through them, I saw two things that made sense:

CC Thrush
Thrush CC

CC Thrush sounds like another name. Perhaps his real name? I went through the same routine for this name that I went through for T. S. Church and got absolutely nothing. Thrush CC didn't sound like a name at all. I pondered the meaning of these phrases for hours. I came to the conclusion that these were not names. Maybe...maybe something else? It was time to investigate. I looked up the thrush on Wikipedia and searched through every genus. One of them made me gasp with realization: Genus Cochoa. For those of you that don't see the ties, look at this:

Thrush Cochoa

I looked at the information on them and it turns out they were recently taken out of the thrush family. It all made sense. The reason why no one has heard of T. S. Church and no one has seen his face is because he is a bird. T. S. Church is a ****ing bird. A thrush, to be precise. At least he was. To confirm this, I went back to interview Andrew Gower a second time and merely asked him what Church wanted as payment. What would a bird need with money, after all? Jagex paid him in bird seed and Church requested they not question why. It was obvious now.

The reason Church wrote this book is because he wanted revenge on the human race for taking him out of his beloved thrush family. He still believes himself to be a true thrush, so he created an anagram from his genus and the family he did not wish to leave. He wrote this book on Runescape knowing that Runescape is played by many young children, and those children would like to read a book about this game. He also knew that the parents would love to help their children read as opposed to playing this game. The book has several subliminal messages in it that could only be created by a thrush mastermind. These messages command young children, the future of the human race, to commit suicide and to take as many other young people as they can down with them.

Parents: Do not let your kids read this book. Do not read this book yourself. Any older players who have purchased this book: stay away from it. Dispose of it as soon as possible. Anyone who reads the words in this is in inevitable danger and should be killed immediately.

This is a warning."

 

^ haha i loled so hard

 

Not that I'm going to buy it, but is anyone here going to buy,let alone read, it?

 

book looks cool...i might get it on e-bay