> Make me laugh < For a membership pin

Now, im feeling nice today

so make me laugh, funniest joke i hear in 1 hour will win a membership pin..can i make it clearer and easier?

No begging!!

and all posts must come here

 

ok so the math teacher says what come after 69?

the blode says you clean out your mouth and wash your hands duh

 

Lmao good one made me laugh

 

3 blondes come across some tracks in the road. The first one says "look! deer tracks!" the second one says "no, dog tracks..." the third one says "your both wrong! Their cow tracks!"

While they were arguing, they got hit by a train.

 

-.- kinda lame lol btw it finishes at 10:30 gmt

 

What time do your legs open?

 

heard it alot dude, lame

 

30 mins left quick!

 

Can i pm u the joke? or msn, its in my sig.

 

A mother is sitting in her bedroom reading a book,
her daughter who is called 'Rose', walks into the room.
She asks "Why did you name me Rose?"
Her mother replies "Because when we were taking you home from the hospital a rose petal fell onto your head."
Rose replies "Oh, ok."
Then she leaves the room.
Her son who is called leaf, enters the room.
He asks the same question and she replies "Because when we were taking you home from the hospital a leaf fell onto your head."
He also leaves the room.
Then the womans last son, cinderblock enters the room.
He says "Bleghghragruh?"

Gf please.

 

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The mother, more that a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

 

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

OR

this one is mean to girls lol

A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem."
She says "Tell me." He tells her that the boys at school are using 2 words he doesn't understand. She asks him what they are.
He says "well, pussy and bitch".
She says "Oh That's no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy."
He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement. He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know, and I asked mom and I don't think she told me the exact meaning.
Dad says "Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she cant handle them. What are the words?"
He tells him...pussy and bitch.
Dad says "OK" and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker and circles the pubic area of the centerfold and says, "son, everything inside this circle, is pussy."
"OK dad, so what's a bitch?"
"Son" he says, "everything outside that circle."

 

Lmfao lmfao that made me lmfao lmfao hahahaha good one :laugh:

 

not bad ranger

 

Thanks, if I win add my msn: [email protected]

 

10 mins left @@@

 

John woke up after the annual office new year party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

'Louise,' he moaned, 'tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?'

'Even worse,' she said, her voice oozing scorn. 'You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.'

'He's an idiot,' John said. 'Piss on him.'

'You did', came the reply. 'And he fired you.'

'Well, screw him!' said John.

'I did. You're back to work on Monday.'

 

A Jewish man walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, then he sees a Chinese man and punches him in the face. "Owch!" the Chinese man says. "What was that for?" "That was for Pearl Harbor," the Jewish man says. "But I'm Chinese!" "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" And the Jewish man sits back down. Then, the Chinese man walks up to the Jewish man and punches him in the face. "Ouch!" the Jewish man says. "What was that for?" "That was for the Titanic," the Chinese man says. "But that was an iceberg!" "Ice berg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

 

5 mins left @@@@@@@@@@

 

people only 4 mins remaining