What to do when life has you in a rut? - Anger issues

I talked to a few people on Sythe yesterday, and although I already knew about it, it really has gotten to the point where I think I need help. I don't need a counselor or a therapist, I know it is happening, I know that it is a problem though.

So as a basic rundown, I am 21 now, I was bullied in middle school and early high school, so age 11-15 roughly, before that I was pretty much an A grade student in everything, and obviously as this kept happening my grades started declining, as well as my mental state. I never had more than 2-3 friends, still don't IRL at least, there are a bunch of you on here that I really like calling friends, as you are really nice people towards me, and I couldn't ask for more. I went through 2 relationships from age 17-18 (technically 19), which lastest 8 months and 5 months each respectively, both didn't end well and ever since I haven't had a relationship, I've tried to get into some and it just never played out. Now I'm in College, going to be an accountant (someone who handles monetary records for companies), I work overnights 10p-6a (Isn't healthy for me, slowly taking a toll on my sleep and eating habits), and other than that I play video games and ride a mountain bike. I haven't exactly had the most fun playing video games since I was 19 or so, so better part of 2 years. As well as I overthink a lot, can be related to almost anything, and that also isn't healthy.

For my anger, I can get angry at almost anything. I do bad in a video game, rather than assessing what I'm doing wrong, I get angry. I'm driving and someone does something stupid, angry. Someone uses the wrong tone of voice, angry. Ignorance kills me, and I just want to know if someone has either been through this phase, and has a solution, or if someone just has a knack of what may be going on.

So tl;dr I have anger issues, I think it may have started in my schooling years, not exactly certain. I don't have much going on in my life, and I don't have a solution.

Feel free to leave any feedback you can, or questions that I can perhaps look at and help answer my own problems, thanks for reading. - Bryan

 

Gym that way when you do get angry you can successfully break more stuff lol.

All jokes aside god knows I used the be quite the angry fuck my solution was to find something I was good at or even something I maybe even wasn't good at but enjoyed and perfected it and it ended up doing good things and just overall staying busy. I also work alot so in between that and a dog I never have time to be angry about things long when you stack them with a laundry list of hobbies.

 

I work at a gym, I come to do cardio occassionally, but it doesn't tire me out enough to stop my anger. Perhaps a pet could help?

 

Spend 30 mins hitting the bag

 

I would look into meditating. Helps loads with stress and sleep problems, possibly the root of your anger issues. It should also directly help with anger issues, calming you down and allowing you to see straight again.

I also wouldn't get a pet just because of anger issues, its a huge commitment that you may regret. You really need to want one, not just think you may benefit from it.

btw, just because you understand that you have a problem (i.e. smart enough to know that you have a problem but not wise enough to know how to solve this problem), doesnt mean you don't need professional aid. If you can afford it and nothing else seems to help, it wouldnt go amiss imo. goodluck dude

 

The first step in solving a problem, is being able to assess the situation. You've already made a big step in realizing that it is becoming an issue. It is very hard to get into a habit, but it is completely possible to do it if you keep your mind to it. I would recommend doing a mantra in your head like "Calm down, everything's going to be okay." or some simple breathing exercises that you can just google. When we are children, we develop self soothing techniques when we are upset. It is not uncommon that you could be undeveloped in that area. Irritation can also be from a lack of vitamins, I know some good ones to take to improve your overall mood are magnesium and vitamin D which you can purchase at a grocery store. Also, a reminder that physical contact and speaking to people face to face is a big part of our lives. I really hope everything gets a little better for you, and if you ever just need to talk to someone, add my skype.

 

Kind of a different approach, not sure if you've heard of it. There's a newer thing out now called "Pavlok" it's basically a shock watch, used to help treat bad habits, and form better habits. Not sure if it's something you're interested in or within your price range. They are kind of expensive, I actually just ordered one for my self. For anger, Nail biting, and sleep issues. I hope this might help some way, any questions feel free to ask. Goodluck bud

 

It's normal to get angry at things but what matters is you how you output your feelings physically. If you're getting aggressive to people and so on then you need to calm things down.

It's easier to say than do, but try and adopt an mindset of "think before doing", I bet you most of the stuff you get angry at is not worth your time at all (particularly video games, idiots on the road etc; )

You may have been bullied in school and it wasn't right, but that's all in the past now. You've finished that part of your life and are training to be an accountant? That's a very successful jump from school dude, more successful than most people who were in your year at school for sure.

 

Definitely interesting, I looked into it, and price doesn't really matter for me, not certain if it would help though. I will look into it more.

 

I think it could be worth a shot, That's what i'm hoping it'll do on the side for me. Main reason for getting is sleep issues but hopefully helps with other things. They also do sales and stuff randomly. Idk, Let me know if you find anything interesting out about it, As i just ordered it, supposed to ship in about a month \:

 

Learn a martial art, Don't necessarily have to like hurting people but I think it would help with a few of your problems.

1. Patience and self control
2. Confidence (I.E the bullying)
3. Make new friends

Most classes are really cheap and are pretty widely available, id recommend you look into it. Good luck though buddy i'm routing for ya.

 

YOUR ADVICE IS SOO FUNNY!!!! Cross out #1 and you got your classic bully.

 

Explain?

 

Classic Bully: Health issues with no patience so they resort with violence tedencies.

 

What are you even talking about you make 0 sense?

 

Hey Bryan, been a little over a month since you made this thread so hopefully you won't need this advice.

Boxing and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu were amazing for me when I had to decompress. I've been hitting the gym the last year and it doesn't feel the same, different goals. Boxing and BJJ were amazing because they really tire you out. You should give it all you've got and with a decent trainer that is willing to push you to your limits, it really tires you out. Whenever I was done I had no more room for anger. I was too tired and worn out. The downside was I had no idea how much they were helping me until I stopped and the anger kept building up. This led to me losing my temper and punching a cupboard 3 times, I broke the lock off before the wood gave in. It was my turning point though, I walked downstairs in so much pain in my hand unsure what to do. I eventually just put ice on it but I was afraid I broke something. I suffered pain around the middle knuckle for a long time, I'd do boxing every now and then until it was gone. I was really afraid that it would've been something permanent. I've learned to think about the consequences before blowing up.

 

Why do you start of by saying you don't need a counselor or therapist? My opinion is that everyone can benefit from visiting a therapist, even people who are happy.

people here can provide you tips & tricks on how to reduce your anger issues but that won't be solving it.

With the issues you have i think it would be great to look for guidance from a therapist, nothing wrong with that & go do a sport which allows you to release your frustrations/anger for example: boxing

Non the less, best of luck

 

I agree with Zynce, everyone can benefit from visiting a therapist. Nobody here can solve your problem, only you. I feel like your work (10 pm - 6 am) may have affected you though I am not sure, but I have gone through countless nights awake playing video games or drinking with buddies since 17 that it's safe to assume it has affected me too in some ways especially the anger issues.

Also do you remember some old buddies you know from middle school, high school or college that you can remember to be good people? Hit them up. I'm not popular but I get along well with people and it's safe to assume I have many friends but there are only very few of all of those friends that I can consider really good friends... you know someone I can rely on to when I needed someone to talk to.

 

Have you been better recently bud?

 

Therapy, meditate and figure out where the anger is stemming from, and then work on that. Understand you're a different person from when you were in school and that things are different. Hope you're doing well