Sythe Boycott of Taco Bell

Taco Bell, my 2nd favorite restaurant when I was a broke fuck, tried to have me killed today.

I decided to give Belle a second shot this morning. I used the excuse of closure although I think deep down it was just selfish lust. I've been seeing my former mistress Chipotle regularly for the past couple months but today I had been up all night after a wonderful night of poker but Chipotle was unavailable until 10:30 AM. So I decided to pay the Bell a visit.

Everything started out just as I had remembered it. I placed my order with the retarded young man speaking through his big boy headset. The manager only had to step in twice to answer my questions for him. I ordered a few items off the breakfast menu and a coffee. Pulled up to the window, paid for my food and coffee (remember the coffee part it's important) and drove off.

A few minutes into my drive home I went to wash down the taste of my delicious Cinnabon delights with some coffee. I pulled up the flap and went to take a sip, then realized that the flap did not stay put in the slot. I hold the cup closer to my face and attempt to put the flap into it's slot so I can enjoy my hot beverage, and that's when I realized that this cup was specifically designed to kill me. The amount of force required to secure the flap caused an eruption of molten hot lava aimed right into my face. Keep in mind I'm driving 60. Disoriented, I attempt to wipe the lava from my face without smearing it and causing even more damage. But the cup had spotted weakness. The second it smelled blood in the water, it removed its lid and enough eruption ensued, this time targeting my chest and lap.

I managed to come out victorious in the end, heroically hurling the cup out of the window before it could spread anymore chaos, but there are no winners in war, particularly wars between one's self and one of their top 5 favorite fast food restaurants. I don't know what provoked the attack. I don't know what other tricks they have up their sleeves. What I do know is that without your help they will get away with this attempt at my life unscathed. I need you to sign this document agreeing that you will not give Taco Bell any of your business until this is made right. Stand with me Sythe. If I don't survive, I hope you will carry out my wishes and destroy this murderous company.

 

i think overall with the trade that went down, i can vouch for it. the only problem i truly have with this is that you didn't use me as a mm. please make sure you do this next time to assure your safety on all trades.

 

if you could possibly elaborate more on that claim, possibly we could come to a solution?

 

You are not a person simply a TWC rank

 

How fucking dare you slander their good name because you're too autistic to drink coffee.

 

Look here u lil shit for once my autism was not the culprit. This coffee cup was specifically designed to put me in an early grave

 

Taco bell does breakfast? The fuck is this treason

 

op truly is a faggot

 

Yes, they sell laxatives in the morning.

 

Is this what they mean when people reference "weaponized autism"?

 

You guys aren't taking this seriously. I am under attack