Volcom == TEH NOOB LOL

Sorry Volcomchamp but that hour of fruitless suffering you caused me must be avenged.

Code:

[17:51] <Spiderman> Any idea how to setup cBulletin?
[17:51] <Spiderman> v*
[17:52] <SMR> do you have a paid for or nulled copy?
[17:52] <Spiderman> nulled
[17:52] <SMR> ok
[17:52] <SMR> is your server/php/mysql all properly set up
[17:53] <Spiderman> that's what i need to know
[17:53] <Spiderman> I have the MySQL server, and the files
[17:53] <Spiderman> On my desktop
[17:53] <SMR> are they all properly uploaded
[17:53] <Spiderman> No
[17:53] <Spiderman> I need to know where to upload
[17:53] <SMR> ok open the /upload/ folder in your vbulletin directory
[17:53] <SMR> and is it a local server?
[17:54] <SMR> i've done this like a million times
[17:54] <Spiderman> I think so..
[17:54] <Spiderman> Localhost?
[17:54] <SMR> ok
[17:54] <Spiderman> What MySQL do I use?
[17:54] <SMR> in the upload folder open /includes/
[17:54] <SMR> do this first
[17:54] <SMR> there will be a file
[17:54] <Spiderman> kk
[17:54] <SMR> called config.php.new
[17:54] <Spiderman> called config?
[17:54] <Spiderman> yesh
[17:54] <SMR> rename it to config.php
[17:54] <Spiderman> done that
[17:54] <SMR> ok
[17:54] <SMR> all set up?
[17:54] <SMR> the config file?
[17:54] <Spiderman> yep
[17:54] <SMR> alright
[17:55] <SMR> did you make the mysql database?
[17:55] <Spiderman> On the website's MySQL or computer?
[17:55] <SMR> >_<
[17:55] <SMR> your computer silly
[17:55] <Spiderman> =.=
[17:55] <Spiderman> kk
[17:55] <Spiderman> cause
[17:55] <Spiderman> On the website
[17:55] <SMR> open the console for mysql, type your pass if you have one
[17:55] <Spiderman> It has MySQL
[17:55] <Spiderman> kk
[17:55] <SMR> and do CREATE DATABASE forum;
[17:55] <SMR> or whatever you named your db
[17:55] <SMR> in the config file
[17:56] <Spiderman> Hm.. I'll have to check
[17:56] <SMR> kk
[17:56] <SMR> are your *.php files set to open with notepad/wordpad/some text editing thing?
[17:57] <Spiderman> yeanh
[17:57] <Spiderman> yah*
[17:57] <Spiderman> oi
[17:57] <Spiderman> with the config
[17:58] <Spiderman> it doesn't tell em to specify the databse name
[17:58] <SMR> hm
[17:58] <SMR> paste your config file contents?
[17:58] <SMR> i can examine it for you
[17:59] <Spiderman> k
[17:59] <Spiderman> get ready for spam
[17:59] <Spiderman> <?php
[17:59] <Spiderman> || #################################################################### ||
[17:59] <Spiderman> || # vBulletin 3.6.7                                                    ||
[17:59] <Spiderman> || # ---------------------------------------------------------------- # ||
[17:59] <Spiderman> || # All PHP code in this file is ©2000-2007 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. # ||
[17:59] <Spiderman> || # This file may not be redistributed in whole or significant part. # ||
[17:59] <Spiderman> || # ---------------- VBULLETIN IS NOT FREE SOFTWARE ---------------- # ||
[17:59] <Spiderman> || # http://www.vbulletin.com | http://www.vbulletin.com/license.html # ||
[17:59] <Spiderman> || #################################################################### ||
[18:00] <Spiderman> lol
[18:01] <SMR> || # http://www.vbulletin.com | http://www.vbulletin.com/license.html # ||
[18:01] <SMR> [17:59] <Spiderman> || #################################################################### ||
[18:01] <SMR> thats all i got up to
[18:01] No such nick/channel

Session Start: Fri Oct 19 18:01:32 2007
Session Ident: Volcom
[18:01] <SMR> || # http://www.vbulletin.com | http://www.vbulletin.com/license.html # ||
[18:01] <SMR> [17:59] <Spiderman> || #################################################################### ||
[18:01] <Volcom> huh?
[18:01] <SMR> thats all it went up to
[18:01] <SMR> then you were killed for flooding
[18:01] <Volcom> >_+>
[18:01] <SMR> ok do this
[18:01] <SMR> just paste like
[18:01] <SMR> 3-4 lines at a time
[18:02] <SMR> wait a few mins
[18:02] <SMR> seconds**
[18:03] <Volcom> k
[18:04] <Volcom> <?php/*======================================================================*\|| #################################################################### |||| # vBulletin 3.6.7                                                    |||| # --------------
[18:04] <Volcom> -------------------------------------------------- # |||| # All PHP code in this file is ©2000-2007 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. # |||| # This file may not be redistributed in whole or significant part. # |||| # ---------------- VBULLETIN IS NOT FREE SOFTWARE ---------------- # |||| # http://www.vbulletin.com | http://www.vbulletin.com/license.html # |||| #################################################################### ||\*===========
[18:04] <Volcom> This is rfetarded
[18:04] <Volcom> :\
[18:04] <SMR> No wait
[18:04] <SMR> find this line
[18:04] <SMR> $config['Database']['dbname'] = 'test';
[18:05] <SMR> thats the database name
[18:05] <Volcom> kk
[18:05] <SMR> its near the beginning
[18:05] <SMR> accept the file i sent
[18:05] <SMR> it'll help you open your php files
[18:05] <SMR> with wordpad
[18:06] <SMR> which doesnt break lines as retardedly as notepad
[18:06] <Volcom> my firewall decined it
[18:06] <SMR> oh
[18:06] <SMR> nvm then
[18:06] <SMR> well have you done the db thing
[18:06] <Volcom> I don't think I have that in it
[18:06] <Volcom> It's not their when I do ctrl + f
[18:06] <SMR> wtf
[18:07] <SMR>     //    This is the name of the database where your vBulletin will be located.
[18:07] <SMR>     //    This must be created by your webhost.
[18:07] <Volcom> found it
[18:07] <SMR> k
[18:07] <Volcom> alright
[18:07] <Volcom> done
[18:08] <SMR> now open mysql and do CREATE DATABASE whatever;
[18:08] <Volcom> yeah done'
[18:08] <SMR> kk
[18:08] <SMR> where is your http folder for your local server?
[18:08] <Volcom> huh?
[18:08] <Volcom> :\
[18:08] <SMR> are you using
[18:08] <SMR> wamp
[18:08] <SMR> apache?
[18:09] <SMR> or what
[18:09] <Volcom> NaviCat, if that's what you mean
[18:09] <SMR> like
[18:09] <SMR> for your local server?
[18:09] <Volcom> the MySQL navigator?
[18:09] <SMR> >_<
[18:09] <SMR> no
[18:09] <Volcom> i'm stupid.
[18:09] <Volcom> >_<
[18:09] <SMR> what are you using for your HTTP server
[18:09] <SMR> Apache?
[18:10] <Volcom> Wtf, Idk..
[18:10] <SMR> alright whatd you download
[18:10] <SMR>  or install
[18:10] <SMR> to enable your local server
[18:10] <SMR> Microsoft IIS?
[18:10] <Volcom> MySQL...
[18:10] <SMR> Or Apache?
[18:10] <SMR> Thats the database thing
[18:10] <SMR> What did you use for the HTTP server
[18:10] <Volcom> Fuck, Idk, I didn't download anything
[18:10] <Volcom> It just worked
[18:11] <Volcom> >_>
[18:11] <SMR> when you type in localhost in your browser
[18:11] <SMR> do you see a "windows xp internet services" thing
[18:11] <SMR> or what
[18:11] <SMR> or forget that part
[18:11] <SMR> do you know
[18:11] <SMR> WHERE
[18:11] <SMR> to put files
[18:11] <SMR> so that if you were to type
[18:12] <SMR> localost/something.php
[18:12] <SMR> it would show up
[18:12] <SMR> ?
[18:12] <Volcom> FTP?
[18:12] <SMR> there should be a directory
[18:12] <SMR> where you can put them
[18:12] <SMR> or
[18:12] <Volcom> I don't think I can, cause, I have dial-up
[18:12] <SMR> can i scream?
[18:12] <Volcom> sure
[18:12] <SMR> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
[18:12] <SMR> okay
[18:12] <Volcom> k then.
[18:12] <SMR> whats the letter for your local windows drive?
[18:13] <SMR> c:\?
[18:13] <SMR> d:?
[18:13] <Volcom> yeah
[18:13] <Volcom> c:/
[18:13] <SMR> okay
[18:13] <SMR> is there a folder called
[18:13] <SMR> C:\Inetput?
[18:13] <SMR> Inetpub*
[18:13] <Volcom> nope
[18:13] <SMR> if not, then you'r enot using IIS
[18:13] <SMR> okay
[18:14] <SMR> C:\Program Files\Apache Software Foundation?
[18:14] <SMR> or anything that has appache?
[18:14] <Volcom> Nope
[18:14] <Volcom> ATI
[18:14] <Volcom> but no Apachi
[18:14] <SMR> :S
[18:15] <SMR> C:\Wamp?
[18:15] <Volcom> nope
[18:15] <SMR> okay look theres not really much i can do until you figure out where to put those files
[18:15] <SMR> unless
[18:15] <SMR> can you log in
[18:15] <SMR> to FTP onto your localhost
[18:16] <SMR> have you done that before?
[18:16] <Volcom> Dude, I don'r have anyh FTP
[18:16] <Volcom> Do I need to DL one
[18:16] <Volcom> ?
[18:16] <SMR> alrighty...
[18:16] <SMR> open command prompt
[18:16] <SMR> and type
[18:16] <SMR> FTP
[18:16] <Volcom> k
[18:17] <SMR> And before we muddle with that junk
[18:17] <SMR> just type localhost into your browser
[18:17] <SMR> tell me
[18:17] <SMR> what it says on the page
[18:17] <Volcom> comes up with a yahoo search
[18:17] <Volcom> :O
[18:17] <SMR> WTF
[18:17] <Volcom> LOL
[18:17] <SMR> Look can you load Add/Remove Programs
[18:17] <Volcom> yep
[18:17] <SMR> and tell me if you see anything like "HTTP Server" "WAMP" "IIS" "Apache"
[18:18] <SMR> or anything
[18:18] <SMR> like that
[18:18] <Volcom> nawp
[18:19] <SMR> >_<
[18:19] <SMR> is it a really long list
[18:19] <Volcom> not really
[18:19] <SMR> can you screenshot it
[18:19] <Volcom> kk
Session Close: Fri Oct 19 18:22:32 2007
[18:22] <SMR> Oh jesus i just fucking realized
[18:23] <SMR> you dont have a web server isntalled do you
[18:23] <SMR> thats why when you type in localhost
[18:23] <SMR> it redirects
[18:23] <SMR> to a yahoo search
[18:23] <SMR> for 'localhost'
[18:23] <SMR> correct?
[18:23] <Volcom> yer.
[18:23] <SMR> oh my lord
[18:23] <Volcom> derr
[18:23] <SMR> i so want to kick you in the balls
[18:23] <SMR> >_<
[18:23] <Volcom> Lmao
[18:23] <SMR> okay 
[18:24] <SMR> google 'apache' and download/install the latest windows version
[18:24] <Volcom> ok..
[18:24] <Volcom> Better not be very big.
[18:24] <SMR> and set it up to support php/mysql
[18:24] <SMR> For all my troubles
[18:24] <SMR> im going to paste the chat logs of this in the irc lounge
[18:25] <Volcom> :P
[18:25] <Volcom> kk
[18:25] <Volcom> what do i DL
[18:25] <SMR> hold on
[18:25] <Volcom> FTP or HTTP?
[18:26] <SMR> http://gulus.usherbrooke.ca/pub/appl/apache/httpd/binaries/win32/ - download the second last one
[18:26] <Volcom> yes sir.
[18:27] <Volcom> brb
[18:29] <Volcom> k ima get changed, 8 minutes left to DL
[18:30] <SMR> alright well im playing flash games, so you might not get my attention at once
[18:31] <Volcom> :P
[18:39] <Volcom> whaddo i do when it's DLed?
[18:39] <SMR> install it
[18:39] <Volcom> =.=
[18:39] <Volcom> and?
[18:39] <SMR> install it
[18:40] <Volcom> >_<
[18:43] <Volcom> 33 sec left >_
[18:43] <Volcom> >_>*
[18:44] <Volcom> kk installing
[18:44] <Volcom> Network domain?
[18:46] <Volcom> ?
[18:46] <Volcom> What do I put
[18:46] <SMR> .ham.iprimus.net.au
[18:46] <Volcom> is that exactly what i type?
[18:47] <SMR> without the first .
[18:47] <SMR> before ham
[18:47] <Volcom> kk
[18:48] <Volcom> kk installed
[18:48] <Volcom> now what
[18:49] <Volcom> ??
[18:50] <Volcom> I typed in localhost
[18:50] <Volcom> and it says
[18:50] <Volcom> 'It Works!"
[19:00] <Volcom> ...
[19:01] <SMR> okay
[19:01] <SMR> well
[19:01] <SMR> What folder was it installed to
[19:01] <Volcom> program files/apache
[19:01] <SMR> open that folder
[19:01] <Volcom> yep
[19:01] <SMR> tell me what folders are listed there
[19:01] <SMR> conf, logs
[19:01] <SMR> what eles
[19:01] <Volcom> modules
[19:02] <Volcom> htdocs
[19:02] <Volcom> manual
[19:02] <SMR> open htdocs
[19:02] <Volcom> kk
[19:02] <SMR> copy all the vbulletin files
[19:02] <SMR> in the upload folder
[19:02] <SMR> into there
[19:02] <SMR> then type 
[19:02] <SMR> localhost/install/install.php
[19:02] <Volcom> kk
[19:02] <Volcom> can i delete the apache defaults?
[19:02] <SMR> the what?
[19:02] <SMR> oh
[19:03] <SMR> sure
[19:03] <Volcom> kk
[19:03] <Volcom> i clicked it
[19:03] <Volcom> nothing's happening
[19:04] <SMR> What
[19:04] <SMR> Paste it into your browser
[19:04] <SMR> http://localhost/install/install.php 
[19:04] <Volcom> not found
[19:04] <Volcom> zsec
[19:05] <SMR> what path is the install.php file in
[19:05] <SMR> i cant remember
[19:05] <Volcom> i got it
[19:05] <Volcom> but it just came up as a download
[19:05] <SMR> do you have PHP installed
[19:05] <Volcom> er..
[19:05] <Volcom> idk
[19:05] <SMR> www.php.net
[19:05] <SMR> win32 binary
[19:05] <Volcom> kk
[19:07] <Volcom>  4.4.7 zip package [8,426Kb] - 04 May 2007
[19:07] <Volcom> md5: 065e867fa3cfa75cba8271dde9b10cee 
[19:07] <Volcom> ?
[19:07] <SMR> nah
[19:07] <SMR> not the zip
[19:07] <SMR> try and find
[19:07] <SMR> a .msi file
[19:07] <SMR> hold on..
[19:07] <SMR> i'll do it for you
[19:07] <Volcom> kk
[19:07] <SMR> to prevent any disasters
[19:08] <Volcom> :P
[19:08] <SMR> http://ca3.php.net/get/php-5.2.4-win32-installer.msi/from/a/mirror
[19:09] <Volcom> this will take a while
[19:09] <Volcom> well, i g2g
[19:09] <Volcom> what do i do after this is downloaded?
[19:11] <Volcom> ...
[19:12] <Volcom> meh. cya
[19:14] <SMR> cya
[19:14] No such nick/channel
Session Close: Fri Oct 19 20:36:00 2007

 

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
pwnt

 

hahaha
volcom is kewl
smr is hawt

kinda funny

 

Ahahaha, fuck that's classic stuff. Goes to show how much of a noob I am when it comes to setting shit up.

 

volco look like u got pwned

 

I don't get it. >_>

 

me either shredder

 

>_> More intended to people who understand how webservers and stuff work.

 

amen brother.

 

he didn't know which http program he is using?
and dial up for a website? HAHAHAHAHAHHA
this is by far the funniest thing ive seen on sythe

 

errr...id have to go with shredder and konvict. what da phack?

 

HAHAHAHA /me realizes im the only one in my area code who uunderstands it..

 

O M G xD