[Food] Ola Poke - Poke Bowl review (sponsored by Teemo of TeemosGP [rip banned])

First of all, thank-you @Talon for funding this review; may you rest in piece.

I've been looking at trying Poke for a while and I bought a new H-E-B grocery Poke bowl to ease myself in with lowered expectations.

Disclaimer: This review is coming from someone who does not like fish.

Spoiler: HEB bowl mini review

May look better due to the better lighting but I got this as an introduction for $8 with a $2 off coupon. Yeah.

Too many onions. A lot of salmon, but the salmon wasn't flavorful at all. That's the important part. Small size for the price.

High 2/5 I ate it all but only when soaked with a soy sauce mix.

Would not buy this again.

Price Paid: $12.99 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) but the 2-meat bowl of this is $8.99 and a much better buy. I think they gave me less overall because I asked for a togo plate. D'oh.



I wish I took better pictures or that you could see what exactly this consisted of.

Let's dig in.

Rice, spicy tuna, spicy salmon, (these spicy versions, as usual, were mush. That orange stuff you see at the very bottom) Ahi and albacore tuna. Mushed avocado and crab salad on the side were added after that. Next I got pineapple and double jalapenos (so good!). Then I chose regular Poke sauce and a Korean chili sauce (this sauce was a little spicy, but I did eat a lot of fresh jalapenos so).

Finally, it was topped with an absolutely scrumptious layer of seaweed, sesame, and onion strips. This added a layer of crunch (and gave it QUITE the crunch) to an otherwise mushy product. The seaweed was amazingly pleasant (see: pleasent).

This unassuming bowl was devoured almost instantly. I knew I shouldn't have gotten a togo bowl right when I bit into it. I feel like they ripped me off more because of this. Otherwise, all of the ingredients all went together perfectly. My only issue with this would be the avocado was flavorless, but I think that is a personal problem. I never really taste avocado.

Spicy mushed fish - would avoid personally, but some people like it.
Albacore tuna - is whatever
Ahi tuna - orgasmic
Salmon - getting it next time =[[[ forgot to get it this time.

Welp, I rambled for too long now I can't make this review more interesting. So I'll leave now sorry okay buh-bye!

High 5/5. Would get this again so many times.

tl;dr raw fish + rice + veggies. Raw fish marinated for taste. Sauce added. Easy delishu. Needs more rice. You're sexy.

 

S/o @Talon for sponsoring the review. Solid review op

 

12.99 lmfao.

 

These reviews are dipping in quality. Ever since the Mcdonalds Fry scam of @John these reviews have seemed bought & paid for. Turns out, they are.

Your compromised mind can no longer be trusted. I think we need Mika back.

 

Additionally, as someone who bases his entire grocery list on your reviews, it is disheartening to see these reviews becoming cookie cutter and sellout-ish.

 

Not a lot is the short answer. But the point of the review is still there. Try out Poke! I never knew it was a dish until about a year ago and waited this long to try it out. Basically though. each small chunk of extra meat is $2 extra here



This is someone who bought the same size. They 100% ripped me off but idc. I think you can see the size of what I was SUPPOSED to get better here. If I am being generous, I paid the same amount for 1/2 as much food. As long as they fix it during my next trip, I won't be upset.

Poke good. I don't even like fish.

Agreed!

 

it literally looks like someone just crapped in a plastic bowl, put sauce on it, and sold it for 12.99

 

LOL didn't read.
also, lol

 

How the fuck are you still on this website?

 

tl;dr buy some Poke, mon.

 

Haha jk @str8 d a n k is a great guy I used his mud rolling + ewhoring guide to scam @DesireX out of his bank

 

I have purchased TeemosGP. I am deciding which faggot I should sue for $30

 

Teeto!!!!!! Kiss me!

 

I love cooked fish but raw fish is something i avoid like the plague.

 

Sued for sexually harassment.

 

Any reason? I thought the same thing I was a scared wuss it is the same reason I didn't eat rare or medium steaks or whatever but it is fine. You can use cooked fish if you want, but the raw fish has been fine so far on me (sushi / poke). I still hate fish in general, but sushi could change a man slowly.

 

Top review mika. Reestablishing yourself as the #1 reviewer in the game.

 

Nah its not about it being raw. I just don't like the taste.

 

Huh. I still stand by getting sushi or even better yet Poke. Poke marinates the fish in orgasm.