:)

Ok, if you know who I am please don't leak it.

Hi,

(Everything is adapted in small ways so that my identity is hidden)


Now I'm going to ask you guys for generals tip of my current situation.

My life is pretty much destroyed at this point, I ruined it all by myself. When I was from the age's of 13-19 I always had friends. But in short. I have like 0 now.

We always did drugs.

All the time. Mostly weed until I hit the age of 17. Then we did ecstasy. then it when on to coke, then I became a drug dealer (Just selling weed) but later on.

I stopped and am clean of all drugs when I became 18 after my own mother seeing me on them.

I started doing a combat sport, don't even smoke tabbco anymore or even do any drugs but smoke a weed on rare occasion, and my grades in college have gone from failing to being one of the top students in the class.

But I keep thinking back to my past experience's and to what I have done to people and it's making me heavily depressed recently.

Also, I'm in fear because of my past finally getting to me and getting me killed.

I use to do things all the time, Now I won't even leave the house anymore. As there is no reason to do so.

I'll be honest, If I could move out of my local area, I would but I can't.


all I wanted to know is what you guys do in my situation?

in regards socially, no one wants to be friends with someone like me.

the depression I'm facing, and the nightmare's I have every night.

I'm now 20.

- Kind regards -
Some Guy on a weird vpn.

 

talk to me

 

Im glad to see that youre taking initiative to try to get your life together. Talking small steps to get where you want is the way to go. I think youre feeling some sort of self resentment and guilt from all the previous things you have done earlier on in life. You ever try to make wrongs right? not saying that is the case, but i think that could be something to do with it. and at one point in my life, i was also pretty depressed. i found that helping other people out, volunteering my time to charities was a great way to cheer myself up and make new friends. youd be surprised how many people you meet who are having similar life problems as you doing that.

so to conclude my babbling that made zero sense. i would just try to do things that makes me happy if i were in your shoes. true happiness will eliminate almost all depression youre feeling. do the shit you love doing! i like skateboarding, i go to a skatepark without knowing anyone a few years back, now i have lifelong friends who share the same happiness with me. all because i took the initiative to make myself happy