My Depression

So I'm 18 years old and in high school I wasn't really the popular kid at all. I usually either chilled by myself in a classroom during Nutrition and Lunch hearing a lot of hip hop. I isolated myself from a lot of people and it made me feel so alone at times but I would usually get over it until one day it hit me hard that i'm that weird kid no one likes apparently and I never told anyone that I was going through some weird times since I had no one besides my parents (single child) and I didn't want to bother them. I developed depression in 10th grade and I never thought about suicide since I can't imagine the pain I'd leave my parents with and I don't want them to go through that. Every day just felt a little blue and I didn't know what was wrong with me, constant sadness Putting on a fake persona to hide the fact that I was depressed and didn't know why. My hobbies are to bike ride, write poetry about what I usually feel like to at least reflect on what I'm feeling and perhaps find a solution, and play Runescape. I'm currently a college student studying architecture and it keeps pretty busy making me forget about my depression but it hits me at random times and makes me feel so worthless about myself that i'll never live up to anyone standards (my parents mostly). My grades are great and everything seems to be going right academically but I just don't know why I get depressed often and I literally just don't know what to do. I feel so alone every night and have horrible nightmares. Should I seek therapy? I don't see it helping very much either but is it worth it to try? Should I get out of my comfort zone and try to talk to people even though I find this very challenging. I'm really trying to have a positive mindset about life but it's a constant battle trying to get up every day only to feel like utter shit about myself every night. any advice is greatly appreciated.

 

Honestly man you should go out of your comfort zone as much as possible. It's literally as simple and giving someone a nod when you walk by them and sparking up a conversation or if you see someone studying something for a class that you also take, or are planning on taking, or have previously taken just simply start a conversation about that subject. There is nothing to be afraid of, people are just like you, we all have our own issues. The worst that could happen is they ignore you (which I doubt would happen) and if they do who cares? They're a loser for ignoring you and you don't need or want them in your life anyway. Real friends are hard to find, but it's always easy to make casual friends on a daily basis especially when you're in college, people are a lot more open minded than you think. Most people would rather be friends with someone who doesn't give two shits what anyone thinks about them and says and does what they want when they want knowing that people might be judging them as appose to someone who never talks and shies away when they walk by.

 

I do think seeking some professional help would be good for someone in your situation, you sound like you are lacking someone to talk to and have an outlet. My advice would be realizing that only you can make positive changes in your life. Obviously other people can and are willing to help you, but ultimately you must change your own mindset whether that is through experiences changing you, or talking things out with a therapist or whatever. YOU need to find what YOU are looking for ,what will make you happy, what will make you feel accomplished or fulfilled.

 

What you have describe as long as I can tell Ikov is not deppresion, when you have deppresion, you can't even get up from bed. I know it can be hard, but don't self diagnose yourself with something, because we may try to convince ourselfs to have something different from what we really do. What I can recommend you, is to go to a psicologist. You don't need a psyquiatrist in my opinion. What you really need is someone to help you find yourself and grow as a person with new hoobies and to develop new abilities. Best of wishes, set yourself a goal and always! keep looking for help.

 

Weed is my solution to you my good friend, it will make you happy no matter how bad of a day you're having and it also makes you more social so would help you out in that field as well, give it a try.

 

I felt the same way for a long time, but I wouldn't diagnose it with depression (although I thought it was at the time), I think for me it was more a result of social anxiety, humans are social creatures, try stepping out of your comfort zone and strike up conversation with people when the opportunity arises.

Can be as simple as just saying hello, wishing someone a good evening, asking how their day was, it might seem a little odd at first, but by showing interest in people you don't know you are not only helping yourself, you also might make someone elses day a little brighter.

 

May be mild depression but I doubt it. You probably suffer from social anxiety. Easiest way to get rid of this feeling is to get OUT of your comfort zone, it's hard to do at first but with every step you take out of your comfort zone the better you'll feel overtime.

Join some social groups at University, could be a gaming crew, an architecture study group, anything to get you into a group where you can begin to communicate with others.

Stay positive.

 

I've had the same issues, thought I wasn't necessarily unpopular, I was always in the center of attention because I have a good sense of humor...Put yourself out there, get on like Meetme, omegle, POF, facebook, go out in public. Find a hobby that isn't technology related, I took up skateboarding. Guess what? Then I could go to the skatepark & meet people who were into the same thing as me. Try going for walks in the park, get exercise. It's proven that exercising can help your mental health, plus it makes you more attractive to other people. Change up your clothing style, I don't spend hundreds of dollars, but people compliment me or ask if they can trade me something for my clothes all the time. I go to the Goodwill, Ross, & Marshalls. JUST CHANGE YOUR LIFE!


Best of luck...

 

Hey man,
Just wanted to let you know that I had depression two years ago. I tried going to a therapist and then eventually ended up going there once a week. Every other week I went to my psychiatrist to try new medications and talk about what I was going through.

It's important to talk to people about it - especially any family members that care for you. Trust me it will help.

Eventually (after about 4-5 tries) I found medication that worked for me. It makes me feel like I am the only one of the world. I honestly don't care what people think about me anymore. It has changed my whole perspective positively and I am so thankful for that.

If you can reach out to ANYONE who cares about you for help. It will definitely be worth your time I can promise you that.

Good luck my friend

 

Get out of your comfort zone, interact with random strangers,like those youtube pranksters, you will eventually gain confidence and will be able to mingle with your peer, you are not suffering from depression, you just lack confidence.

 

I find that starting with small things like jogging or just getting out of the house to watch sunrises/sunsets have an effect on depression. Just small things. Over time they'll turn into routine and before you know it, you'll find yourself feeling good emotions from the things that are just routine for you.

From there, perhaps you could really exit your comfort zone and get into more challenging things. Hope this helps.

Also, art! It's always a pleasant surprise when I walk into my room and see something that I enjoy looking at. I like to change them up every so often. Maybe you should try it!

 

If your grades are good, just do you bro, in 10 years time when you have a good paying job due to your fantastic grades you're going to have the respect of grown men and woman, not immature 18 year old college students.

Focus less on looking "cool" for the college drop outs and focus on your future because with a good paying job and a clean heart, you'll do better in the long run.

Always keep your head up bro, things get worse before they get better sometimes.

 

Embrace being a weird guy man. I was the guy that partied with the cool kids and whatever and smoked a lot of weed, but when I was at home I was playing rs and wow and all that. I didn't give a fuck, and I guess that's why they liked me. I could make butthole jokes in front of them and everyone knows it's funny, just only some choose to laugh at it. Life doesn't stop at 18, 19, 20, 21, it keeps going and going. I PROMISE the "cool kids" won't matter in a few years. After high school and college it's all about who's got life figured out, as in finances, priorities, stuff like that. People are jealous of me at 24 for having a family, keeping a job, when they're at home not doing anything with their lives. You'll be that guy some day man. Just don't smoke meth and you're pretty much idolized by the majority of the population.

 

Hey Man I understand the position your in, I'm going to keep this short. Remember all those people that were popular and had fun? Wait till ur the one with money, and there the ones on the street. Patience is always key mate. You aren't worthless and If try to make friends and tell them how u feel that always makes things better. If you ever need someone to talk to Im all ears man!. Wake up everyday to a new day and be grateful for how smart you are. You have potential do something with it. And your nightmares are all mental, before you sleep Think of something you love, and tell yourself I don't have nightmares I'm not Going to Have nightmares. Honestly talking to your self helps you sometimes. Don't seek Therapy, Do you and don't care what others think. Cause anyone can judge, But if you Actually let them judge you and not block them out it'll hurt you the most. Make friends, Go out, And express your feelings to someone.