You guys are my only option for advice.. Please help

So.. Normally I wouldn't be asking for advice on sythe, but I literally don't know what to do or have anyone I can talk to. Basically.. My fiancé and I have been together for almost 3 years, we have a house, we have cars, we have pets, everything together. She has been acting weird the past few weeks so I finally just kind of broke down asking what is going on. She had been very distant from me, would go over to a friends house all day, not have sex with me. And no she isn't cheating, i know for 100%. She basically tells me tonight that she just doesn't have the feelings for me like she used to. She said she hopes its just something shes going through and will get over it, she has depression and is bi polar but i love her to death. Her parents just went through a divorce on top of it all. I guess my question is.. Am i stupid to wait and see if it gets better, should i fight it or accept it? Does her parents divorce have anything to do with it possibly? And lastly what do i do.. I mean we have a house and pets we adore and cars.. Like she says im her best friend and she cant see herself without me.. But she doesn't have the romantic feelings for me right now.. Like what the fuck did I actually get friend zoned by my fiancé? Im so lost.. I don't know what to do.. I have no one to really talk to. I feel like i have nothing at this point.

 

Im 3 years older than her, this was just kind of out of no where.. She pretty much said theres nothing more to look forward to and our relationship has become dull.

 

Honestly, it seems like her bi polar and depression along the combination of her parents recently getting a divorce has her a bit confused on what she wants out of life and her future relationship wise. If you think about it, it's actually pretty understandable. She witnessed the two people who she thought had the strongest relationship out of anyone she knows just get a divorce. That combined with the bi polar and depression could be what's going on.

You should just be there for her, ask her what she wants you to do that you're not doing. Find out what the real issue is and work together to solve it since you've said you want things to work between you.

 

I have somewhat the same type of relationship, but happy on her side.

We live together, we have credit together, a townhouse, cars, pets you name it.
I work a lot, I have a "dangerous job" being a firefighter and I really think that helps draw her love more to me and makes things work a lot better.

I'm not saying go become a firefighter, what I'm saying is if she truly loves you she will stay with you.

People will tell you to ask her to work it out, ask what you're doing wrong and I've learned from a lot of past experiences that's just extending time with the wrong person who don't love you anymore, once someone loses there love for you to put it simply that is always there.

If she don't love you anymore, do what you need to do to better yourself and get back out there as a regular person and you never know what's waiting around the corner for you.

Be there for her, have a long talk about love and figure out her true intentions for your relationship. Ask where she sees herself in 5 years.. if you're not in what she describes, to put it bluntly you won't be.

Best of luck to you man.

 

Does she have any hobbys bro? Same thing happened to me minus the legit life together haha but she ended up just being bored and was sick of how lazy and un inspired i was. She just wanted to do something else with me then netflix and fuck yaknow. Her next boyfriend and her are married now and they frequently go snow boarding and do frabiwhatever eggs together and shit. In her FB she looks happier then ever.

Maybe surprise her with some a gift card for classes of something she enjoys or something. A busy women is a happy women.


Edit: before she would go to her friends all day would she just spend time at home alone? Are you working? maybe she needs a job.

 

We work together, i just get off work a little earlier than she does. Im going to try to go out and actually do stuff with her and see if that helps

 

I'm currently in a 8 year relationship with my girlfriend. We've lived together since the first 3 months. Relationships take turns and continually change. I find it hard being romantic with my girl. Try removing your availability. Find things to occupy your time and leave the house. I find this to be a positive move for my relationship. Being around one another all the time causes spite and dislike sometimes.

 

Just be supportive until it is clear what she wants. That is all you can really do. Showing bitterness about the situation to her definitely won't make her more attracted to you (not saying that you are bitter). Maybe put in some effort to try to make things "less dull". Do stuff with her that you guys have never tried.

 

maybi spent too much time together?

 

That's brutal m8, I'm sorry:/. I'm 22 so I don't have the same situation, but The only thing I can think of is try spicing stuff up like when you first started dating. Sounds like you've gotten past the initial hype of the relationship and now she thinks it's only downhill from here. Take her places, tell her and show her you love her, bring flowers home whatever she's into every now and then. And if it's still not working then maybe it is just time to move on, unless both of you are 100% for each other and yourselves then it won't work out. Also, bipolar could be the reason for this. I'd explore treatment for that further.

 

I went through the same thing recently. Kind of out of nowhere I got told the relationship wasn't her cup of tea anymore. It spanned from her changing into more of a partier with her friends. The times that it worked out the best was when we were doing activities to keep things fresh but it got worse when we got into school. I'm not saying don't fight for it. I recently went and talked to her to see if she had any residual feelings and she actually surprised me with saying no and she realized that she only had loved me as a best friend for the last month or so of the relationship. Sometimes you can't change stuff but this is definitely a common theme amongst younger or even some older girls. Girls absolutely go through these phases of friendzoning their longterm partners for whatever reason, I'm still currently figuring out how my ex of 3 and a half years just lost romantic feelings when 7 months ago it was like the thought of losing me would make her cry for a week. It feels like girls sometimes have that switch where they just think that you're not romantic for them

I wish I had advice for you but this just happened to me. She is on the other side where the "grass is greener" she said she's unhappy with how she's changed and I was a great boyfriend but she has no feelings like that for me anymore she told me this. IDFK man.

 

It's not just girls, time changes everything. People are shaped by their experiences thus they continue to change as time goes on. Now it sounds like she was the one that drifted away and it may sound unfair but it takes two to tango. Love truly can be a drug and you can't be reliant on it as hard as that sounds. It sucks you were together for so long and how good it must have been. It will never be like that again though, you just have to accept it. You might get back together again eventually but for what? She's done this once what's to say she won't do it again? There's billions of fish out there dude, I have no doubt in my mind that there will be plenty better than her from sheer probability. They won't be the same by any means since every relationship has it's own unique dynamic but you'll be good man. Focus on finding yourself, pick up some new hobbies, spend more time with friends and generally just try to enjoy yourself. Without a significant other you'll have plenty of extra time and at the end of the day, time is our most valuable resource as there's only so much of it that we have. Make the most of it and you'll be right. When the right time comes, you'll find a new dance partner to tango with.