Fuck Everything

Dear Tom

This is your dear old mother writing to you. There is not a lot of news since you left. It's wet but not as wet as it was really wet. I'am writing this slow as I know you can't read fast. Excuse the writing - I had an accident, burnt my finger in boiling water. All my own fault, I should have felt the water before I put the finger in it. I am feeling better since you went away, went to see a doctor and got wonderful medicine for my deafness. I took it on Friday night and it was so good that I heard from Uncle Hughie in Australia on Saturday morning. I feel 25 years younger and your father is delighted. Your brother Ernie came in crying from school this evening because all his Pals have new clothes. We can't afford to buy him a new outfit so we are going to buy a new hat and let him look out of the window. We had a row with the Electric Light Company - it ended in a draw - we get no light and they get no money. It is dark but not as dark as when it is really dark. We are hard up son, send us a few quid - it will only cost you fivepence. Your father met the Landlord at the dogs the other day. He asked him about last week's rent. Your father said to forget about last week's rent and worry about this week's - it is running in the third race. Our neighbours the Browns started to keep pigs - we only got wind of them this morning. Friday night was wet, we went to bed early. Mr Higgins got his appendix out and a new kitchen sink in. The kat had kittens in your fathers's hat. I took them out and put them in a box in case they grew up round shouldered. The undertaker called and said that if the last instalment isn't paid on your Mother-in-Law, up she comes. Your father has got worms and has gone fishing. We heard that Anne passed away, your Granny died, and Fanny married a butcher, so now you have no Annie, no Granny and no Fanny. Your Uncle Mike was out walking with his dog and a Policeman asked him to produce his dog Licence. He told the policeman he had ten children and was out of work and his wife was having another baby. But the Policeman said that if he does'tn produce the licence within twenty hours, the dog would be destroyed. So Uncle Mike produced the licence the next day, and the Policeman asked him "you're out of work, where did you get the money for the licence?" He said "Ha Ha! I sold the dog". Your father has a good job now, the first in 14 years. We are a great deal better off than we were. Your father gets $10 every Thursday so we're in for a bit of fixing up. We bought one of those new fangled things they call bathroom that you hear of in some houses. It is put in by a man called a plumber. On one side of the room is a long thing like you used to feed the pigs in before you went away. We jump in that an wash all over. Just near that is a small one they call a sink. That is for light washing such as the hands and face. Ah, but over the corner is the nicest contraption of all. You put one foot in and wash it clean and then pull a little chain and you get fresh water for the other foot. Two covers go with it and we had no use for them in the bathroom so I use one for a breadboard and the other has a hole in it so we framed your Granny's picture. They send a big roll of writing paper with it. This is what I am using now Son, to write to you. Take care of yourse.

Mum

 

With the joke of a welfare state and healthcare your greedy capitalist country is no wonder it turned out this way, you americunts are the origin of the financial crisis

 

Well, at some point my friend you'll have to stop blaming the mericans for your problems, and start blaming your own government for letting their people down.

 

If your govnerment functioned properly and had proper health care and welfare, you probably would not have scammed americunt

 

At some point you'll have to stop scamming moneypaks.