Ex Girlfriend Advice

So about 2 months ago I had to leave my ex girlfriend because I was moving countries. I used to live in Singapore but now I'm moving to Boston to start college. We dated for a good year and a half. We've had so many great memories together, and to be honest if I could I would date her again, but I can't do long distance. I get really worried and anxious sometimes and over think the smallest things, and end up feeling sick cause I think she might be with someone else. But deep down I know I don't think she would do anything like that.

This is literally my first post here, and I know it might be stupid and all but I don't really want to bother my friends with these issues. Plus, I'm staying at my grandparents for the next 2 weeks in England, and I don't have many friends here.

I just came back from a eurotrip and music festival in Croatia (Ultra Music Festival). I had an amazing time, and I rarely thought about her when I was away. But now that I am with my grandparents and don't do much all day I think about her more. Can anyone give me advice or maybe ideas on what I can do to stop thinking about her. I'm not in a good place at the moment, and the more I think about her the more I feel sick and depressed to a certain extent.

Another thing, it may sound weird and all, but like most couples there is a physical and mental side to relationships. I believe I enjoyed the physical side more than the mental side even though we did connect and click. I do think about that a lot as well, I miss the physical stuff a lot. I don't really want to think about all that though, and then think maybe she doesn't miss it or anything like that.

I just need a little guidance, I thought maybe someone here could help me figure out some hobbies or something to get this girl out of my mind 24/7.

Thanks.

 

First of all, welcome to Sythe.

Second, try to find some new friends to hangout with, or something that will fill up your day. Hanging out with some new friends might lead to a new girl that you might like even more than your ex. You had to break up with her for a reason, so there shouldn't be a guilt feeling that you have because you personally think that if you stayed with her for a long distance relationship, you would've been cheated on.

 

This. I find the best way to deal with these things is by being with friends and keeping busy. It might be difficult for a short while but it's worth it in the long run. And it'd be a wise decision not to do a long distance relationship. They rarely work out, and no girl is worth risking your own well-being over, man.

 

I think you're smart about staying away from a long distance relationship. And I have experienced something very similar to this.

But slowly with time she'll begin to fade. You'll meet new people and they'll consume your thoughts. But for the time being, I highly recommend keeping yourself busy. Whether with a form of work, with a gym, with anything, keeping yourself busy and focused on something at hand won't allow you to constantly think of her. Try something new: make a YouTube video, go on a bike ride, build something yourself, anything really. Who knows, maybe you'll find something that will even become a life-long hobby

 

As cliche as it may sound, time will help you stop thinking of her. She'll come up in passing thoughts, but there will no longer be this overwhelming part of what you're thinking about it.

In order to help keep you from thinking of her, I would suggest finding a hobby, or something to keep you busy. Whether this is hanging out with friends, going biking/hiking, playing a game, watching netflix, whatever. Just something to do so you're not just sitting around letting your mind wander (likely back to her).

Long distance relationships can work, but I also think you made the right call. They are very difficult and definitely at such a time in your life. You're going to be at school in Boston, you do not want to be worrying about Skype calls and not being able to go out because of a LDR.

PS. Welcome to Sythe

 

Time to find some more physical. On the real though just stay busy for awhile =/ Only time will make it better

 

Thanks for all the input guys, it was really nice to wake up with all this new advice. I do agree that hanging out with friends is probably my best bet, I'm not looking for another girlfriend at this point in time, but I just want to be able to move on with my life. I know once I start college I'll have a lot to work on then, and I will probably meet new people, so that's something that's keeping my head up. Thanks again.

 

I wish you the best of luck man.

 

One thing you can do is find something that interests you and spend your time doing it. I'd suggest going to the gym. Let out some steam, take your time, and get all of whatever you got in your head, out.

 

Meditate, work on yourself. Let go of the past so the future can become the present. Changing your mind by doing activities will make time past and the image of your ex will dilute with time, but as evolving humans we have to look at things and why they make us feel a certain way. Physical, Intellectual and Emotional; these are three aspects of ourselves that need to be ''mastered''. When I say mastered I don't mean you need to force yourself, quite the contrary actually.

Allowing and letting go.

You want her to ''get out your mind 24/7'', the best way is to ease it so your thinking mind so it isn't ''in control'' as much. Let the flow of life guide your thoughts instead of clinging on to them, and what will come out of you (energetically and as you express yourself to others) will be the best for every conciousness that perceives you. You will be a mirror to their subconscious, without fully realizing it. Synchronicities will start to happen all around you and women will all want to be with you. They will feel safe around your energy because you will be without worry, the thoughts that serve you no purpose anymore, will be flowing down the river of your divine bliss as you tear down old labels about ''how things should be''.

If you feel like it, you should watch this 10 minutes clip from Avatar : The Last Airbender . It talks about chakras in a simple way and I believe that even if you are going to discredit the Chakra system as ''pseudo-science'' or ''new age'' material (which I wouldn't because I love this system), you would still get a lot from the psychology offered within

Peace, love, unity, respect

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02FkMr21xOA

 

Thank you so much for this post. At first I was kind of confused what you said, but I looked into Chakra meditation and everything, and even gave it a go. I feel like it does clear all the negative energy, and even though yeah it is something I wont ever forget, I don't need to think about it as a bad thing, and I wont dwell negatively on it anymore. Thanks a lot for the advice, thumbs up haha If I could give you a vouch for the personal help I would

 

stay really busy, i started mma when me and the skank stopped dating, anyways since then ive been very busy with work and various projects ive been going from 7 am to 11 pm almost everyday so havent really given me any time to worry about her, so stay busy and do something productive!

 

Try to find people to talk to to take your mind off of her. Also, meeting someone new could help. Even if you don't want to get into a committed relationship again so soon, it may help you get over her by realizing that she isn't the only girl in the world. You could also get a hobby such as working out to help clear your mind.

 

Welcome! I agree with everyone else that posted before me, but I have 1 thing to add: try to find a new girl to get physical with, not mental, just physical.
It'll make you forget her easier.

 

Plenty of people in this world, 8 billion if anything. Don't front, go outside, be confident and find your soul mate <3