Very very shy with girls.

Not sure why. I basically only talk to them if they approach me and talk or ask me a question. I've never initiated a conversion with a girl unless it was something relevant in the past 5 minutes. It isn't due to my confidence or looks, I just don't know what it is. I am 100% straight, have had a girlfriend (just one), not bad looking, really athletic, etc, yet I don't seem to be an interest to girls or have any confidence to talk to a girl. I have never had a friend that was a girl. I have one-two girls phone numbers and one was my old girlfriend and the second one hasn't texted me in weeks.

Basically, I am very very shy in trying to talk to a girl with other "things" than something in class from 5 minutes ago or a question. Someone guide me please.

If it helps, I'm 17 years old as of 3 hours ago.

 

"It isn't due to my confidence or looks, I just don't know what it is. I am 100% straight, have had a girlfriend (just one), not bad looking, really athletic, etc, yet I don't seem to be an interest to girls or have any confidence."


Are you or are you not confident? Not trolling just desiring the answer in hopes to giving you real advice.

 

Sorry I kind of contradicted myself there haha. I'm not 100% totally what I mean I guess. I mean if I need to talk to a girl, I'm very confident and stuff, but unconfident in the way I am very shy and all that. Not really sure how to word it. If anything though I'm more unconfident I guess. Sorry about that =p

 

These sort of things tend to work out on their own. There isn't a way to make yourself confident around women over night.

I personally see this sort of thing more and more in our society where women are put on some sort of pedestal as if they were something special. Being confident = understanding that there isn't anything special about women and taking them for what their worth.

Ofcs if you tell a woman that her ideas are stupid or something along the lines then it will result in a lower success rate with women (there are exceptions to this like being rich or looking like a model and if you have either of those 2 then you can treat women like trash and they will still run after you,this does not include all women).

The reason behind you not being able to talk to women around your age for anything relavant might just be because in deep down you understand that they will likely not care about anything other than superficial bs. I surely don't remember girls around the age if 16-17 being talk material. Yeah sure you could talk to them in school during the breaks but that was pretty much it. Maybe it was just the school I was in but girls at that age are not worth the time and the relationships almost never work out so why bother and stress over it? Just live your life and dw about women

 

Don't look at girls as "I wanna be your boyfriend" or "that's a potential girlfriend". They're just another acquaintance or friend - no different than a guy. Be yourself and make friends, love interests blossom from there. If you go out deliberately looking for a girlfriend and wanting them to find you attractive - you're not gonna get anywhere. Make friends and lots of different people and love will happen when you least expect it

 

My advice : make a group of friends at school and involve your self in activities ... and whenever you have a girl as friend not as a girlfriend ... and you have any intention to her act like is a boy around you .
Like this you will forget about the shy and you can be your self whenever you face up things that might make you shy .

 

I agree with Roary. I'm guessing you're only shy with girls. Just be natural, try to speak to them as you would to your mates.

I don't think there's another way to fix your problem other than to just try talking more with girls. You'll soon get comfortable and find out there's no reason to be shy.

 

Eh I don't think girls are even worth my time at this age tbh

 

If that's not the shy guy in you talking, and legit speaking, +1 bro.

 

Focus more on being happy. Easier said than done. Are you from USA btw?

 

Yes I am. Southern Cali to be exact

 

I live in LA. Add me on Skype, can chat about the ladies or whatever some time if ever.

Sythe.3max

 

Happy Birthday M8!

 

ty sir

 

Like others are saying, You gotta keep it cool and not think about it. Easier said then done, but overtime the more you execute the easier it will be in the future. Things I did (and still do) to get some of the nerves off is to ask simple questions to girls you don't know. "Wheres the library from here? What class you have next? What time/day is it? Are those nikes? Are those jordans?" Stupid stuff, this is a easy engage for girls to respond back to you.

If they dig you, they will show a little more effort in their responses. After a while you will be able to make the adjustments as you go. Your still a young gun so don't sweat the girlies - just do YOU!

 

Fear of rejection. Putting them on a pedestal. You go to the supermarket, the cashier is a girl, are you shy to initiate any kind of conversation (like how much is this item)? Odds are no. Why? Because you aren't looking for much from her, you don't put her on a pedestal. You see her as a girl, a human being.

When you want to initiate a conversation with a girl from school you probably think as Roary said. What if she doesn't like me? What if she thinks I like her when I just want to be friends? She's too good for me. You need to forget all that. Let her think what she wants, you need to stop caring about what other people thinks which is probably why you're shy. Stop valuing the opinion of someone that doesn't even know you.

And happy birthday.

 

I agree with Roary.

 

I'd say you just need to relax really, alot of the time if you wanna talk to a girl and you're afraid to do so, she is aswell. Just approaching her and starting a conversation might be hard but forcing yourself to do that sometimes will help and after a while it's just like talking to a buddy But to be honest just don't stress it, if you don't feel the need to talk then don't, if you do wanna talk then you might have to push yourself just a little.